One Way Sex

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by drgirth, Aug 26, 2007.

  1. drgirth

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    I'm posting this here since I'm str8, but the question is relevant for all, male/female, str8/gay. My lady and I NEVER engage in what I'm referring to as "one way sex." That is, when we have sex it is about both of us reaching orgasm. I never just go up to her, whip it out, and encourage her to make me cum just for me. Nor does she just spread her legs and tell me to make her cum just for her. If we don't both go there, it isn't sex.

    Does anybody here routinely have "one way sex?" In my 30+ years of having sex, I've never done it, giving or receiving. Just wondering if anybody does/has and how you feel about it.
     
  2. B_New End

    B_New End New Member

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    My last ex, yes, she didn't seem to mind not getting off. Bugged the hell out of me. That one only lasted 1 month.

    In my 5.5 year relationship, she would get pissed if she didn't get off (you know, if it fizzled for some reason, and we ended up not having sex after starting)

    Quickies ended with her whipping out the vibrator and finishing up for a few quick O's while I licked her nipples.
     
  3. Act2_Begins_Now

    Act2_Begins_Now New Member

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    For 18 years I was with a man that had no interest making sure that my needs were taken care of! It sucked.

    Would I do it again? Probably, but only with someone who knew how to and always took care of my needs. However, I can't imagine a man who met my needs not turning me on so much that one way sex request would wind up being mutually beneficial for us both.
     
  4. stamrod

    stamrod New Member

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    I get ALOT enjoyment out of making/watching a girl cum, so no, I've never had it one way for myself. One gf I had couldn't get off easily, so I used her vibrator on her, which was fun. She understood that after I got her off, she would do the same for me. If a girl was really hot but was very self-centered, I guess she could convince me to have "one-way" sex for her being the recipient, but I doubt the relationship would last.
     
  5. Ethyl

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    For me, sex isn't just about the orgasm. The rest of the experience, which takes up most of the time, is just as important.
     
  6. gcbenji0

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    i was with this one guy and i used to blow him just because i like to watch him get off and i liked having his (smaller than average) dick in my mouth. it was fun for me to watch him squirm and curl his toes and moan in pleasure. he never gave me a BJ, though. i guess it was one way sex.....
     
  7. WildHoney

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    I have been married nearly 20 years.

    Of course we have had one way sex.

    Sometimes I just dont need to cum. I am irritable, or over tired, I might be busy with work and just on a brain fry. However we will have sex, maybe he had a really fantastic horny day and wants me badly, and my mood just doesn't match. I definately dont mind sometimes not cumming.

    The majority of time we have hot passionate sex, both of us completely satisfied.

    Very occasionaly sex just doesn't click, something happens, either one of us just doesn't get "the mood" the mojo is lost and sex is a real fizzer.

    Very very ocasionally I wont feel like putting in the effort to cum, and dont want him to even try. I on those occasions do feel like sex, it is just my orgasm isn't a thing I want. I guess I am wanting the closeness of sex, without any effort at all hahaha.

    Long term married sex is never 100% perfect, we have a fabulous lusty sex life, but boy we have both had some shit sex with each other also!

    x

    Honey
     
  8. honeydew

    honeydew New Member

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    I have to agree with Merc. I am one that the experiance or the act of love making is as important as, or more so than orgasm. I have, several times, gotten my fiance "off" without me getting off because I enjoyed the act of lovemaking at that moment. Are there time I want to get "off" as well? Yes, and luckily I am with a man who will take care of that anytime I need or want that.
    Think of this. It is amazing what becomes important when and if the act of intercourse is not as easy as it once was because of disease(diabetes). The other aspects of lovemaking become all that more special when this occurs. I have learned to treasure the intimate moments we do have.

    Honeydew
     
  9. cklover

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    Sure...it happens. I've blown and rimmed and fucked a buddy just after his mother died...took care of him...my getting off was irrelevant. And I know others have been in the same position. Sometimes, it's comfort.
     
  10. crescendo69

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    Sometimes a friend and I stop after one of us comes if the other is a little tired or not horny enough. Having both partners to come is desirable, but not always easy to achieve, so neither of us is offended in a one-way.
     
  11. snoozan

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    What a great post!

    Thank you for posting what I was feeling better than what I could have written.
     
  12. Love-it

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    I have an open offer to my wife that she can come and sit on my face anytime she wants. I wish that she used her privileges more often.
     
  13. huw ginnit

    huw ginnit New Member

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    I think the state of the relationship is a factor also, as WildHoney so eloquently put, after years of being together and proving to oeach other your love, sex and commitment, the realisation that sex isn;t jsut about the orgasm is in many ways quite liberating. As New End put it in his post- the sexless relationship in it's early days can be a breaking point...

    I often joke that after 6 years, we're still putting beans in the jar (a married couple put a bean in a jar every time they have sex in the first year of marriage and remove one every time in the second year- at the end of the second year there are still beans in the jar) It's amamzing at times, mind-blowing thigh-tensing, buttock-clenchingly fabulous other times, and "nice" at other occasions. Sometimes I need banging, other times I want closeness.

    The point to remember is that if there is any kind of problem in a relationship, for whatever reason, the only way to solve it is through frank honest dialogue...if you can talk to each other, you can always solve any problem. If your not getting the sex you want your probably not givingg your partner all the information they need.
     
  14. B_All4show

    B_All4show New Member

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    Trust me, that saying was not meant for "married" gay males? Not even close to reality of most man and wife. BTW, it was 1st year put in and take out the rest of the marrige.
     
  15. JennyS

    JennyS New Member

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    My bf and I have, both giving and receiving. I wouldn't say it's the majority of how we do it (probably like 20% of the time), but still, there's plenty of times where only one of us is getting the other off.
     
  16. silvertriumph2

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    For me, when two people are in a loving relationship (I'm not talking about casual affairs or one night stands), I would hope that each would make an ernest effort to make sure that the other fully enjoyed their special times together and was completely satisfied. This said, I am sure that there would be times, when one or the other would gladly forgo a little or all of their own pleasure in order that the other relceive the most pleasure.

    Being on the giving of pleasure end can sometimes be more gratifying than being on the receiving end. I enjoy both giving pleasure and receiving pleasure, but giving pleasure gives me more pleasure.

    So, no, I do not think that both must be statisfied at all times.
     
  17. Ed69

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    I'll second that!Over 16 years I can't count the times my wife and I have done this for one another.:smile:
     
  18. B_New End

    B_New End New Member

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    It wasn't sexless.. it was just that she didn't mind it if she didn't get off, and it was also obvious to me, that her sex drive was the typical, hot when with a new person, but fizzles quickly. I don't like that at all. I need a sex fiend, because I have been with one, and being with someone who isn't gets obvious to me real fast.
     
  19. HazelGod

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    Mrs. HG and I have gone through a time where, for physical reasons, she was unable to accomodate me for penetrative sex.

    As anyone might imagine, this was tough on a young marriage. Nevertheless, we accepted that penetration wasn't the end-all, be-all of intimacy and worked around it. We found ways to explore and enjoy one another that satisfied the both of us.

    That said, we still surprise one another with random acts of lust...she'll spring unexpected deep-throat hummers on me from time to time; and I'll surprise her with full-body massages complete with oral "release" on a regular basis.

    Sure, it's nice when we fuck and cum together, but that's not the end goal. It never has been for us.
     
  20. Zoeappeal

    Zoeappeal New Member

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    Of course I've had one way sex. I was at a university...one way sex was done a lot since you never knew when your room mate would come in. Otherwise it was in strange places...with strange people. One way sex for me is just straight up hardcore fucking -almost like you are racing...who ever cums first wins. haha. Sometimes you just get that primal urge to fuck anything and get off...and that's always amazing.
     
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