Hi TK,
Just read your story and I found it very moving. Unfortuantely friends can grow apart - especially after a sexual encounter. I had a relationship with a guy at school who remained a good friend after college. We both found partners and drited apart. It was not a conscious decision at all - just happened. I looked him up a few years ago and he is still with the same chap and I am with the same guy too. It was quite a strained meeting - there was real sexual chemistry at the meeting which we both felt and we both realised that we would not see eachother again. No agreement was made, just an understanding that if we started to see eachother again it could ruin not only our lives but those of our partners too. It is a great shame because as a friend I miss him terribly, but I know that there would be too much temptation, for both of us.
I hope that you and Brandon find a way in the future to re-kindle your deep friendship. As mentioned in other posts if and when he stops the ecstacy etc he will start to feel like a different person and think more about what he has lost.
All the best to you TK and thank you for sharing you experience with us. You sound like a very special woman and I am sure that Brandon recognises this too.