Online Fuck Buddies

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_bi_mmf, Oct 17, 2008.

  1. B_bi_mmf

    B_bi_mmf New Member

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    Have you had a serious relationship with an online fuck buddy via LPSG without ever meeting in person?

    *****

    I'm just coming off of one that was incredibly intense. We would e-mail for hours and send photos back and forth. The first day we talked on the phone was one of the happiest days of my life. I sent him a video clip of me jerking off while we were talking on the phone. I also sent him a video of me cumming all over a photo of his face.

    Since we are both married and live far away from each other, meeting in person proved not to be possible. We also could not use web cams.

    We shared everything, and it was so fucking beautiful. The sex, even though at a distance, was super hot.

    When he recently dumped me, I was devastated. It is amazing to me how powerful a relationship can be without touching a person or even meeting him.

    I am trying to cope with my monumental loss, but all I can think about is the electronic equivalent of getting down on my knees and begging him to shove his cock down my throat.
     
  2. Principessa

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    I'm sorry you're devastated. :frown1:

    However, the concept of an online fuck buddy is to me ludicrous; especially since you never met in person. I get that you spoke on the phone and exchanged pictures but that's not a valid substitute for a real relationship.

     
  3. B_bi_mmf

    B_bi_mmf New Member

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    Hi, njqt466,

    Thanks for your sympathy and extensive comments.

    I would generally share your skepticism about online relationships. But this one somehow got started, and then really blossomed. I think that it was both "valid" and "real."

    The intimacy that we shared certainly did not seem "false" to me.

    Yes, my wife knows that I am bisexual, although she did not know about this particular relationship. At earlier times in our marriage we have had on "open" arrangement. We have also been involved in several MMF threesomes, one of which was a 3-year committed relationship.

    Certainly I can understand the doubts that you and others may have about the health of our marriage, but we have a relationship that actually seems much happier and more vibrant than those of most of the traditional straight couples that we see around us.

    *****

    I would be very interested in the opinions and experiences of others concerning how "real" or serious an online fuck buddy relationship can be.
     
  4. chip59

    chip59 Member

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    Not through LPSG, but I've been there. People who haven't been there have no idea just how devastating it can be. If you are like me, you probably didn't realize just how invested you were until it hit the wall. And when it did hit the wall it was horrible, crushing and emotionally traumatic.
    It is especially tough for you since you have a partner during all this.
    There are a lot of good websites that can walk you through the stages of emotional loss, and how to help deal with each stage.
    I know you don't see it right now, but there will eventually be light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there and try to keep your emotions out of your decision making process.
     
  5. D_Pubert Stabbingpain

    D_Pubert Stabbingpain Account Disabled

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    I have made online friends but it rarely progresses to sharing personal pix via another email address and 1 thing almost all have in common is that one of the other of us eventually drops off due to other priorities.

    Interestingly, the 1 person who I still communicate with was from the old Jackin' World board that has been closed for quite some time and he never sent pix over the net. One day, over 3 years after we met online, I received non-nude pix via snail mail (he had my address as a result of me sending him a Christmas present but I had to ask for his address, and he had to trust me with it, before I could send it).

    Unfortunately, I see this relationship fading in recent weeks as his priorities have changed. I pretty much do what I do in any relationship; retain fond memories and move on.:smile:
     
  6. Jason

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    I think you can get a lot of human contact from an online friendship. It is not the same as a face-to-face friendship, but it does have strengths of its own. Probably you felt able to be more open and outspoken on-line, and so the friendship developed faster, and perhaps had special value because it was open on issues that often we don't talk about face-to-face. I certainly don't see the idea of an on-line friend as ludicrous, and I can understand that you are upset at a breakup.

    I'm even wondering if your friend has strictly dumped you, or instead has dumped the concept of an on-line friendship. Maybe he's told you things he's not told anyone before, and feels vulnerable or frightened, or feels it is just too complicated.
     
  7. Principessa

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    I just re-read what I wrote and I apologize for not staying on topic and perhaps seeming snippy.

    Your marriage is not the issue here, clearly that is still strong. What is the issue is your pain. How did he break up with you? Some people men and women are bad breaker uppers. This is what often leads to the pain and devastation you currently feel. It's not just the loss of 'love' it's the sometimes brutal words others use to dump you.

     
  8. Florida Boy

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    njqt466, First: off topic, I love your tagline. If I were a thief, I'd steal it.

    Now to the subject at hand. I think this online relationships are good and wonderful. However, they can at best be a fantasy. They masquerade as real life. They often bubble up in our day to day lives as real life pain. That isn't fun. But we have to deal with that as well.

    Florida Boy
     
  9. chip59

    chip59 Member

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    At best a fantasy? Masquerade as real life? I disagree.

    I met my partner 9 years ago online. He lived in Germany, I lived in Atlanta. There was a lot of pain along the way and a devastating breakup thrown in for good measure. It took a year and a half, all of our savings ( he got here with 23 German Marks ) and a good lawyer, but we made it happen. I harbor no illusions that FB's, much less long-distance FB's, stand much of a chance at becoming something more. But it can and does happen. Shoot, even my dad carried on a long-distance relationship with the wonderful lady he's now married to. maybe it just runs in the family:smile:
    I know what SKDevotee is feeling because I've been there. Like him, I had no idea just how invested I was until it hit the wall. He probably had no intention of letting it get that far, any more than I did. His problem, of course, is that there were more than just the two of them to take into consideration.
     
  10. B_bi_mmf

    B_bi_mmf New Member

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    My former fuck buddy dumped me very suddenly but in a relatively kind way that was not completely ego-crushing. We still talk some, but just as friends. He has a lot of heavy stuff going on in his life, so I try to be philosophical about his breaking things off.

    It amazes me what a big hole is left in my life without him as my online fuck buddy, especially since I consider my life to be pretty full anyway.

    He is a very special person.
     
  11. MarkLondon

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    I have an online relationship with a married man. Even though I have real life relationships too (nothing serious at the moment). We did meet once, at the beginning, back in March. He said he'd like to meet regularly, maybe monthly. But work and family committments haven't permitted that and I now realize it's unlikely to happen again.

    We don't cam. It's yahoo chat with the occassional photo transferred. Some of our chat is erotic, but it's also about our lives, work, families and other stuff. It's been most nights, so although it's through a keyboard, it's a lot of communication and I think we know eachother well.

    He says he is in an open marriage and his wife is bi too. They have had FMF threesomes but he ended up feeling left out, so they don't do that any more. He hasn't told her about me but I think she must know something. Their evening routine is that she's in the study on her computer (doing the accounts, she says, but we think she's surfing for lesbian porn, lol, or more likely having an online relationship of her own) while he is using a laptop from their bed. Our chat often ends abruptly with an "xxx" from him as she heads for bed. Sometimes he's in an excited state and she must surely notice. Maybe she's grateful, lol!

    He's not been online for a week now. It may be the end. I'm sad if that is the case but I'm glad to have known the guy, he's done me good. I will miss our chat sessions badly but I'll take the confidence he's given me and practise the openness he's taught me in real life. I can only hope I've helped him and his marriage.

    In an ideal world he'd have told wifey about me and we'd all have been getting on fine. But it's not an ideal world... You can marry and have kids and a good job and still be unsatisfied. Or you can be gay and free to do what you want and still be unsatisfied. If only there was a happy medium, a middle way...
     
  12. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Even though you may not be able to wrap your head around it, it is a VERY real and incredibly satisfying relationship to have. It starts as a random lusting, and then can grow into many things.

    I make no secret that I had/have a relationship with another member on the site, and we've been going pretty strong for the last 3 years. It's nice having that person to share you secrets with, in a world where it's not always possible to meet people, it's nice to know that the size of the earth isn't a factor. With the net, I'd never have met this person and I would not feel the way I do, having met a person that compliments my personality completely.

    Seriously, don't knock it until you try it. You don't know what your missing. Plus, I know more than a few people who have this at the site and they are happy to. It's not all about getting your asshole/mouth/vagins stuffed full of cock as often as possible, you know.:rolleyes:
     
  13. Principessa

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    I'm glad it works for you and others but I am a visual/spatial/tactile learner. An online fuckbuddy whom I never touch, even if I see them on webcam is never gonna work for me. Having had an in person fuck buddy briefly a few years ago I now know that I need more than that. Sex is nice but sex without an emotional connection or bond is not something I am capable of for more than a few months at a time.

    As for it not being about having orifices stuffed I think you should re read the OP's comments in this thread. :wink: :rolleyes:
     
  14. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    I can understand where the OP and Jeff black are coming from with the situations that we are in. I have been talking extensively talking to a friend off this site for almost 9 months and he means so much to me. More than any other straight boy would. I get to watch him on cam doing his thing, he watches me. Most times I am just happy to see his beautiful smiling face, it lights up my day and I can't wait till the next time I get to talk to him. His right now is the single most important reason for me signing into my computer, for a chance to be captivated by his personality.

    It takes special people to be able to maintain an internet friendship or relationship, whichever you prefer to call it. You need to be able to create strong bonds and leave things to deep trust. Emotional attachment is usually more one sided than we hope as in the case with my friend. We are not in a relationship, but we are friends. He is the most beneficial friend I've had in a long time and I love him to death.

    I wouldn't call him a fuck buddy though because even though we do spend most of the time goofing off we aren't basing everything off that. I vastly would enjoy just seeing him smile on webcam. It isn't all about the webcam sessions.

    Of course I've fallen harder for him than he has for me and I eagerly await being able to meet him and throw my arms around him. His is the most beautiful people I've ever met and it sucks because he lives in Florida, but that wont stop my hopes of meeting the friend I've made.

    hehe love you Corey. :tongue:
     
  15. Not_Punny

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    I haven't yet had this kind of relationship. Always looking to try knew (oops, I mean) new things. (Did I say THINGS?!!!) Things ARE my favorite things you know.... :biggrin:

    - - - - -

    Sorry, I can't resist playing with words. Sorry that things ended badly for ya, OP. That must hurt.
     
  16. D_Ivana Dickenside

    D_Ivana Dickenside New Member

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    i always considered online friendships to be just that: online friendships. unless you meet the person face to face, how can it be considered an actual "relationship?" maybe we all have our ways of clarifying what a relationship is, online and in person.

    it appears that you had something significant with this individual though. however, i wouldn't classify your situation as a fuck buddy type of deal, especially since you have never met in real life.

    when i read the title of your post i figured you were going to discuss meeting people online and hooking up in person to shake your groove thang every now and then. that, i have done, and is what classify as an online fuck buddy deal.

    anyway, i am really sorry that things didn't end the way you would have liked.
     
  17. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    Ita! Until there's prolonged in-person interaction, everything is coloured by fantasy. :shrug:

    +1. :cool:
    I must add, for those who are afraid or shy, I have never been disappointed by any person I have met from online, even LPSG, in real life.
    Just be honest and yourself, try to vet them for the same, and meet. :smile:
     
  18. B_bi_mmf

    B_bi_mmf New Member

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    Sex was a very important part of my recently ended relationship with my online fuck buddy.

    But there were other great aspects of it as well. We would discuss our marriages and children, share our early life experiences, and talk about our work. We tried to be supportive of each other in every way possible. We knew the details of each other's daily schedules, and the intimacy of it all was simply beautiful.

    Certainly, the many obstacles to our actually meeting were frustrating, but on balance the relationship was one of the most meaningful of my life. The degree of connectedness that can be achieved via the internet and cell phones without meeting in person even once is truly awe-inspiring, at least as I experienced it with this incredible guy.
     
  19. rickygNOLA

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    i just recently saw the end of one online relationship, which seems to have ended badly by the way, (i'm not really sure, since he won't communicate with me) but that's enough about him.

    now i've bounced to a new one with a sexy married body-building guy. he's hot and we have a great time online together. and it actually makes the sex with my man 100% stronger (something the last one didn't do). i mean, come on, it's a fantasy and should remain as such. but as i said earlier, it's certainly put a jump start into the sex life w/my already very hot boyfriend. so i say, go for it. as long as nothing more comes of it and most importantly, as long as no one gets hurt.
     
    #19 rickygNOLA, Oct 19, 2008
    Last edited: Oct 19, 2008
  20. B_bi_mmf

    B_bi_mmf New Member

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    One of the hottest parts of my relationship with my online fuck buddy was writing descriptions for each other about what we envisioned happening on the day that we would first meet. He had a real knack for capturing the rich details that would drive me crazy with desire for him.

    An actual meeting that was even half as hot as what we wrote about would have been heaven on fucking earth. Unfortunately, he broke off the relationship before we were able to get together in person.
     
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