Only in California...

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by earllogjam, Jul 20, 2007.

  1. earllogjam

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    We live in a odd, sometimes tragic, creative, superficial, substantive, special place. Not sure how much of this has oozed out to the rest of the nation. Californication - here are some of my observations of late....


    - You buy a Prius for the "eco" status it conveys and not for the gas mileage.

    - Only place in the world where there are routine traffic jams in car pool lanes.

    - You can earn $100,000 a year and not afford a house in the ghetto.

    - You can go to a Japanese restaurant owned by Chinese immigrants from Peru and see a Persian family eating sushi prepared by a Mexican chef.

    - You know how to eat an artichoke properly.

    - You are forced to speak Spanish by osmosis.

    - Your housecleaner has a college education, 12 piercings, wears a gas mask while using cleanser, only uses vinegar as a disinfectant and goes to the Palestine as a conscientious observer.

    - People know what “Vegan” means.

    - The Republican governor who's father is an ex-Nazi is married to a Kennedy, smokes cigars in the most anti-tobacco state, and conducts most of his business in a special smoke tent on the capitol lawn. He also is affectionately called the “Gropeinator” and starred in the movie, "Kindergarden Cop".

    - In the state known for it's produce and wine, POT is the #1 agricultural crop.

    - You know the difference between Masala Dosa and Samosa.

    - The power grid fluctuates with phone calls to power suppliers.

    - People would rather have a Trader Joe’s in their neighborhood than a real grocery store.

    - Plastic Surgeons advertise on grocery cart seat flaps.


    Please add to this list if you can think of any more. It helps if you live here.:smile: Comments from those outside the Republic of California are also welcome.
     
  2. viking1

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    Only in America would have been an equally good and true title...
     
  3. agnslz

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    God bless California! If it weren't for you guys the rest of us wouldn't have any idea of what we don't want to be like!:rolleyes::biggrin: Around here the biggest saying for just about any bad thing is, "We don't want to be another California" or "We don't want to be another L.A." Although, Phoenix and Arizona are fast replacing California as the epitome of what the rest of us don't want to be like. Enjoy your status while you can, California!:tongue: At least you're not generally hated like Texas is.:biggrin:
     
  4. IntoxicatingToxin

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    Only in California do they have valet parking at their malls.
     
  5. Bryan_Lyte2

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    Pah, we valet anywhere and if they don't have one, hire one.

    -where rolling slowly constitutes as stopping.

    -where you can go sufing at the beach, hiking in the forestss, skiing off the mountian, dig in the desert, and tip a cow in the plains, within a 6 hour trip.

    -where you can eat a burger from a reasaurant with an accidental sexual inuendo (in and out).

    -where the news is also a daily talk shows and t.v.shows

    -Where you can see 5 different versions of the same calebrity all stuck in the same traffic

    -where you can watch t.v. in a bookstore.

    -where you can buy oxygen by the liter

    -where you have to fight for gasoline a dollar more a gallon than any other state, because it's ceaper at said gas station.

    -where people hire an attorney to sue the attorney that cost them the case against a plastic seurgon for not taking enough fat out during a liposuction.
    :cool:
     
  6. prepstudinsc

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    No, we have it here, too. SouthPark Mall in Charlotte has valet parking.
    However, Neiman-Marcus and Nordstrom are anchor stores.
     
  7. sdbg

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    I've traveled by car through every state but Alaska - that's still on my list. Based on what I saw from my travels as far as a good place to live, I like the
    Southern California the best. So I can't afford a house or even a condo! Who cares? When I croak, I can't take it with me. Every day of my life I am so stoked to live here and I never take it for granted.
     
  8. transformer_99

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    Yeah, valet is nothing new to malls in Miami, FL either. What gets me, those of us who are too cheap and not too lazy to park our cars can't get a spot, because the prime one's are substantially roped off as valet and go unused. So I still wind up parking in BFE, that's if the seasonal venture to the mall has parking spots available for everyone outside of the valet areas anyway.
     
  9. SpeedoGuy

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    I lived in California for 30 years. All great observations.

    Here are mine:

    The four seasons of California: Brushfires, Earthquakes, Drought,
    Mudslides.

    Nickname for southern California: Mexico Norte.
    Nickname for northern California: Baja Oregon.

    California's huge visual treats: The coast, the Redwoods, Mt Shasta, Yosemite, Monterey Bay, Wine Country, Kings Canyon, Lake Tahoe, Mammoth Mountain, Mount Whitney, Joshua Tree,

    San Francisco: easily one of the ten great cities of the world for culture, food, music, beauty and sheer appeal. The Golden Gate Bridge and the TransAmerica pyramid building remain on my all time favorite list of architectural delights.

    The history: The Bear Flag Revolt in Sonoma, The Mexican/American War, The 1849 Gold Rush, The Donner Party, The Transcontinental Railroad, etc.

    The great universities: Stanford, Cal Berkeley, UCLA, USC, UCSD,

    Things to avoid: Anything to do with LA, the San Joaquin Valley in summer, San Jose and the Silicon Valley at rush hour.

    The warm. dry weather: Californians begin putting on down coats when the temperature gets below 50F (10C).
     
  10. whatireallywant

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    I know what a vegan is and I've never been to California. :smile: I used to have a friend who said she was vegan but she wasn't really. She occasionally would eat ice cream so she was actually a lacto-vegetarian. I knew another woman who truly was a vegan - and she lived in California! She wasn't preachy about it though - she was actually a vegan due to food allergies rather than making any kind of statement or anything.

    There is valet parking at North Star Mall in San Antonio, too.
     
  11. faceking

    faceking Well-Known Member

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    Overall... very well done.. and Trader Joe's will spread by the way, and for good reason. They've taken Cost+Plus, and put it to grocery. But even better on the wine n' booze.

    I'd have so many adds to the list, but here's one, as a native San Franciscan...

    Noone is from here, yet everyone seems to laud about why everywhere else has something better... yet they never move from here... my $800K in property appreciation thanks you for spitting on California, yet wanting to buy.

    Thank you ...drive thru... take your mangy Red Sox hat, your shitty wave-hoging surfing, clueless-on-good-mexican knowledge, and Wesleyan sweatshirt with you.
     
  12. Mr. Snakey

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    You in Bedrock. Get the fuck out. Grab betty by the tits and move. Fuck Fred and Wima
     
  13. faceking

    faceking Well-Known Member

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    I've lived in all 4 Cals...

    NoCal (BayArea and slightly above...sorry Humboldt/Mendocino... no identity, but you've got your world class herb, so it's all good). THE BAY AREA HAS BEEN THE BREEDING GROUND FOR MORE OF EVERYTHING GOOD ABOUT AMERICA THAN ANY OTHER AREA... period, game over... Nobel Prizes, business, science, political currents, local economy the list goes on. Sorry, check the scoreboard if you disagree.

    SoCal (LA/OC,... miss West LA big time). It's fun to visit and sit on the 405 at 10:45pm and go 5 mph with NO accident to speak of.

    LoCal (San Diego..... it's like... take an already mellow LA, and slow it down, brah.... PB, OB, MB, surf at Onofre, LaJolla, TJ, Glamis.. nuff' said)

    HiCal (the Sierras.... funny how the highest point in the 48 is in Cali and not the Rockies. regardless....the folk that live from the foothills, to the passes, on over to the Eastern side.. just critters.... ever wonder who buys the Doobie Brothers outta the bargain bin, yet actually knows a Doobie Brother... that's HiCal... anyone remember Mountain Aire.... nuff' said).

    well done.... Mono Lake (like Mars), Lake Tahoe, border dashing by illegals cross the I-5 in TJ/San Ysidro, the cliffs at Big Sur/San Simeon, Wine Country (second, and not far off from France), Death Valley/Furnace Creek Ranch, Mavericks (100 ft. Wednesday), The Castro (epicenter of the Gay Universe), ... then I would say the Central Valley, but that is like taking Iowa and dropping it inside California.
     
  14. chico8

    chico8 New Member

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    California uses only 8% of the energy in the US although it has 12% of the US population.
     
  15. kalipygian

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    Frisco is 100 miles from the midpoint, Monterey, but 300 from Oregon. A bit of a stretch to describe it as northern. Central California would be from San Luis Obisbo to Santa Rosa.

    (And maybe Alaska will take back Fort Ross, if Norte is so unappreciated :wink:)
     
  16. earllogjam

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    Here are some more...

    - No Californian really knows what California Cuisine is, even though it is touted acoss the nation. I suppose it is anything fresh.

    - We tend to call the bad parts of rich cities "Baja". As in - "Oh she's not rich she only lives in Baja Beverly Hills." or "that greasy diner is across the freeway in Baja Palo Alto."

    - LA drivers are the best in the world. Fast, smart, concientious and decisive. You'd get eaten alive if you weren't. Just the culture. Driving is an esteemed skill.

    - Californians could care less what any other states or the world, for that matter, thinks of us. We are smug.

    - Silicon Valley is not really a valley and stretches for 40 miles.

    - Diverity is good here, it works for the most part.

    - Dirty Harry is the mayor of Carmel. "Make my day."
     
  17. Love-it

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    I have my business in the High Sierra's pine forest and can step across a 32' wide street and be in the Great Basin Desert.
     
  18. earllogjam

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    Love-it :smile:

    Not much snow this year. Bad ski season.
     
  19. Pumblechook

    Pumblechook New Member

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    As someone from the complete "opposite end of the universe" in MI, here's how close and how far your assumptions are...

    1. - You buy a Prius for the "eco" status it conveys and not for the gas mileage.
    Whaaaaaaaaaa?

    2. - Only place in the world where there are routine traffic jams in car pool lanes.
    Ahhhhhh, nope! Try a government who lets the biggest trucks of all time run on your roads, heavier than any other state, and then instead of upkeeping the roads, just figures every 30 years they are going to throw money at the problem and make it work..... I'd glady struggle through a place that so many people want to be in that it makes it crowded vs. so few people want to be and the gov. screws it up so bad that no one can fit,... even no one..

    3. - You can earn $100,000 a year and not afford a house in the ghetto.
    Haha, well if you make the 100k in CA then move over to MI, you'd get a decent house here... but you would still not be accepted by the 19 generations of automobile/UAW mobster/etc., rich families that have dominated the very, very few rich areas since the founding of the nation... so if you can accept that, come on over!

    4) Hmmm.... Japan, China, Persia!, Peru! these countries do not exist to us here in the norse. We do have a few excellent mexican restaurants though. And what's funny to us is that you are shocked that Mexicans cook all the top notch food in your state, cuz we've always known that they make all the good food here - american, chinese, italian, its all good.

    5) I wish, more of us would have picked it up then. I can only speak spanish after being around it for 3 straight days. However, I can speak spanish completely after only being around it for 3 days, so that's a bonus.

    6) K, can't even relate to that one

    7) 1/12 people know what vegan means. Most college students nowadays do, anyone older definately would not.

    8) Nice try, but we have wikipedia too

    9) Um, seriously, you're complaining about Arnold, when MI has granholm? Seriously,.... *shaking head*

    10) Pot is the #1 agricultural crop around the world - since 1285 - still going strong!

    11) We see commercials for "Jack in the box" and "Sonic," (accounting for about 30% of commercial air time) but we will never see a single one in our state.

    12) VEGAS baby!.. and you thought you could advertise on flaps. tisk tisk..
     
  20. D_N Flay Table

    D_N Flay Table New Member

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    you whore!
    Trader Joes OWNS your ass! ;)
     
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