Oooo... I popped out !

HotBodUK

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EnglishGentleman said:
It was a cold dark night. Somewhere in the distance an owl hooted (it was owl comedy night at the local pub).

Outside an austere, red brick building, a dark figure considered the polished brass plaque beside the imposing, black panelled front door.

"Hotbod, Headbang and Spadle
Illegal Practitioners."

The figure nodded slowly, then leaning forward he lifted the brim of his fedora to read the small inscription below the name:


"The League of Extraordinarily Hung Gentlemen."


Diectly below the inscription something protuded from the door in an overt and slightly shocking way. It was a large brass door knocker in the shape of an erect penis. The great brass phalus rose magnificently out of an equally impressive set of matching brass balls. The whole unit must have weighed at least 8 kilos. It seemed to be the only way to attract the attention of those inside.

Determined to continue her mission the figure reached out and grasped that great cock in her two bare hands, intending to knock the door. As she did do she was sure she heard a gasp of pleasure, and what's more it seemed to come from the door itself! The feel of the smooth cock-shaped metal in her hands gave her an involuntary tingling sensation between her legs, and she found herself wanting to rub it... to pleasure it... to masturbate it.

Bemused, she gently rubbed that erect metal member and this time she was sure she heard a groaning sound coming from just the other side of the door. She wanted to stop but she found that she couldn't. Her hands, as if willed on by an unseen force, rubbed that cock with the consumate skill of an expert sex professional.

The groaning on the other side of the door grew louder, and then all of a sudden turned into several loud grunts followed by a long drawn out sigh. With a shock the lady of the night discovered that her hands were wet and slightly sticky. This was unnerving and she was about to leave when she remembered the urgency of her quest.

No, she simply had to go through with it. Lifting the metal todger with a great effort she smote the door three blows which resounded through the building like gun shots. After what seemed like an age she heard a shuffling on the other side of the door, and with a great creaking the heavy door swung slowly open, like something out of a tacky Vincent Price horror movie.

A wizened old man appeared in the aperture, dressed all in black which contrasted with his white hair. There were signs that he'd had to rapidly adjust his atire and his multi-creased face was flushed. A distinct bulge at his crotch and the faintest of sex aromas told her more than she really wanted to know. But she wasn't going to be put off.

"I've come to see Mr HotBod please".

"Mr HotBod is out right now, Madam, but I believe messers Headbang and Spadle are in. Would you like me to tell them you are here?"

"Do you expect Mr HotBod to be long?", she replied, ignoring his question.

"He's always been long, Madam", he retorted with a grin, ignoring hers in turn.

"Really?", she exclaimed, not knowing quite why she did. "I was given to believe that the worthy gentlemen are renowned for being able to, err... satisfy the most passionate of desires."

"That is certainly true, Madam. Would you like to come in and wait? Mr HotBod should be back soon. He only popped out to replenish our stock of wet-wipes."

"Why thank you. I'll be happy to wait."

So saying she stepped inside............

[please continue as your imagination leads] :biggrin1:
.
 

HotBodUK

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Nobody wants to continue the story then???? :confused:

Where are all the budding writers here? :mad:

Come on guys and gals... get your fingers out - and other parts - and show us what you're made of!!!! :biggrin1:

Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on... you know you want to! :tongue:
 

nouveau

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Hi there ^^

EnglishGentleman said:
It was a cold dark night. Somewhere in the distance an owl hooted (it was owl comedy night at the local pub).

Outside an austere, red brick building, a dark figure considered the polished brass plaque beside the imposing, black panelled front door.

"Hotbod, Headbang and Spadle
Illegal Practitioners."

The figure nodded slowly, then leaning forward he lifted the brim of his fedora to read the small inscription below the name:

"The League of Extraordinarily Hung Gentlemen."

LMAO. Yay for the story! I'm more of an artist than an author... I'd happily illustarte anything anyone else writes! :biggrin1:
 

HotBodUK

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nouveau said:
Hi there ^^

LMAO. Yay for the story! I'm more of an artist than an author... I'd happily illustarte anything anyone else writes! :biggrin1:

Hi Noveau... thanks for dropping by. Want to drop anything else for us? (hehehe) :eek:

I'm intrigued that you say you can illus-tarte anything... sounds fun! Or was it a Freudian slip? :pat:

How about illus-tarting the story so far? A sexy woman in front of a big heavy door, rubbing the phalic knocker with one hand and herself with the other, maybe?
:spank:

Show us what you can do babe! :tongue:
 

spankorama_gal

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if this isnt a website for women who enjoy large penisis as well as a support group then i would like to join one or start one up myself lol. carolyn.
 

nouveau

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HotBodUK said:
Hi Noveau... thanks for dropping by. Want to drop anything else for us? (hehehe) :eek:

I'm intrigued that you say you can illus-tarte anything... sounds fun! Or was it a Freudian slip? :pat:

How about illus-tarting the story so far? A sexy woman in front of a big heavy door, rubbing the phalic knocker with one hand and herself with the other, maybe?
:spank:

Show us what you can do babe! :tongue:

Teehee naughty! :flirt:
Twas a slip, but never mind :tongue:
Can do! That's too things on my list to draw now; Wolvering with a huge sclong and door knocker lady!
 

HotBodUK

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spankorama_gal said:
if this isnt a website for women who enjoy large penisis as well as a support group then i would like to join one or start one up myself lol. carolyn.

:burnout:
Hey Carolyn... I think this may well be a website for women who enjoy large penises... or is it penii, or penes, or... whatever!
:burnout:
I see you're not far from me. Tell you what... why don't we start a large penis appreciation group... in the flesh so to speak... you appreciating mine... and me appreciating yours - if you see what I mean... sound fun? (lol) :tongue:

:burnout:
 

HotBodUK

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nouveau said:
Teehee naughty! :flirt:
That's too things on my list to draw now; Wolvering with a huge sclong and door knocker lady!

:hail:
Ummm... looking forward to seeing your artistic endeavours, Noveau. Will you post them on here?
:hail:
When I see your sexy lady with the knocker (lol) I'll complete the story, and then you could add more illustrations, and we could publish it and become filthy rich (or just filthy - lol) and retire to a South Sea Island. Sound good? :tongue:
:hail:
 

nouveau

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HotBodUK said:
:hail:
Ummm... looking forward to seeing your artistic endeavours, Noveau. Will you post them on here?
:hail:
When I see your sexy lady with the knocker (lol) I'll complete the story, and then you could add more illustrations, and we could publish it and become filthy rich (or just filthy - lol) and retire to a South Sea Island. Sound good? :tongue:
:hail:

I'm just finishing a painitng, but as soon as it's done I'll get straight on that pic! (I might do a few versions, I have some ideas! lol).
Yes, lets go into business! You writting filthy filthy filth and me drawing filthy filthy filth :biggrin1: Very good!
(I uploaded that Wolverine pic btw... it's not my best!)
 

nouveau

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Right, there you all go! I've spent a good 5 hours or so on that so I hope your all happy! Lol :tongue:

IllustartedSmall.jpg


(I know she didn't have her hands down her pants in the story, but I thought it would add to the picture :biggrin1: )
 

HotBodUK

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nouveau said:
Right, there you all go! I've spent a good 5 hours or so on that so I hope your all happy! Lol :tongue:
(I know she didn't have her hands down her pants in the story, but I thought it would add to the picture :biggrin1: )

:You_Rock_Emoticon:

Wow, Noveau... that's brilliant! Thank for all your effort. It's a very sexy pic. We'll obviously have to go into business together. :biggrin1:

I see you interpreted it as if the butler actually had his cock sticking through the door... am I right? He'd have to be standing on a table or something! lol :069:

It's a great job. I'll have to write another chapter now... after Valentine's is over :heart:
 

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Lovely illustration, nouveau! I like the artistic license you took there.

HotBod, check out the Fictitious Stories section, perhaps re-post your story there. You're more likely to find someone who'll jump in and help write. Perhaps even me!


Smilies do need to be used sparingly, or one begins to wonder if you're a teenager instead of a 30-something. You're just a tad hyper, man. Do calm down.

:cool:
 

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HotBodUK said:
:You_Rock_Emoticon:

Wow, Noveau... that's brilliant! Thank for all your effort. It's a very sexy pic. We'll obviously have to go into business together. :biggrin1:

I see you interpreted it as if the butler actually had his cock sticking through the door... am I right? He'd have to be standing on a table or something! lol :069:

It's a great job. I'll have to write another chapter now... after Valentine's is over :heart:

Teehee, yes! Well, that was the impression you were giving, wasn't it? :biggrin1:
Lol yes!
Oh, I'm all alone on Valentines Day, going to a Valentines Day pub quiz on my own to a team of other couples :(
 

HotBodUK

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HotBodUK said:
I see you interpreted it as if the butler actually had his cock sticking through the door... am I right?
nouveau said:
Teehee, yes! Well, that was the impression you were giving, wasn't it? :biggrin1:

Actually, what I had in mind was something more esoteric... as if there's a supernatural link between the brass knocker and the butler's cock. So when she rubs the knocker he feels as if she's rubbing him. It's the idea of an atmosphere of sexual vibes in the 'ether' which everybody feels.

But never mind... I like your interpretation also... though I think he'd get a bit of a shock when she used his 'knocker' to knock the door with!!! Oww! (lol) :scared:
 

HotBodUK

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nouveau said:
Oh, I'm all alone on Valentines Day, going to a Valentines Day pub quiz on my own to a team of other couples :(

Aww... sad to hear you're on your own - today. Though I expect there are plenty of guys here who'd be happy to remedy that for you! :heart: (lol)
.
 

HotBodUK

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ThaitAss said:
Lovely illustration, nouveau! I like the artistic license you took there.
HotBod, check out the Fictitious Stories section, perhaps re-post your story there. You're more likely to find someone who'll jump in and help write. Perhaps even me!
Smilies do need to be used sparingly, or one begins to wonder if you're a teenager instead of a 30-something. You're just a tad hyper, man. Do calm down.
:cool:

Yes, it'll be fun to have a running story on the 'story board', ThaitAss. (If you're familiar with how films are made you'll get the pun there.) :chairshot:

As for the smilies, I guess I'm just a kid at heart... teenager or younger! I may take your advice on board. :banghead: . But as your name implies... perhaps it's you who needs to lighten up... whadoyousay??? :dunno:

No offence meant, I hope you understand!

:eek:uttahere: