My gf and I have a similar situation ..I am in control of everything but I don't play. She has a fetish for large cocks so we let her "play" but she only performs orally....I give her 30 minutes with someone and then I get to "reclaim" my woman for the rest of the night. It works out well for us. But we haven't done any swapping/ swinging yet, although we have talked about it...would probably be a soft swap of some type tho, as she says she doesn't want to be fucked by another man.....