open relationship

bigboy9239

Superior Member
Gold
Platinum Gold
Joined
May 3, 2006
Posts
8,941
Media
10
Likes
3,001
Points
583
Location
In the City close to NJ and Delaware
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Male
Believe me, as much as I love women and pussy, I still don't know if I could do it. Every day, I see some pretty thing I'd love to bed down....but I keep seeing my wife's face....and seeing her crying...and i can't take that.
 

shaved and trimmed

Loved Member
Joined
Jun 30, 2007
Posts
423
Media
0
Likes
682
Points
323
Location
canada
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
It works for my wife and I. With her blessing/suggestion I have sex with a few of her friends. They ended up married to their jobs, and before they knew it they were past the age they wanted to have children. A couple of them had been waiting to get married/find the "right" man. They had told my wife that they wanted to experience what sex felt like. She was the one who made things happen. I only have sex with each of her friends a few times a year, but it is good for both of us as I want more sex than my wife prefers.
Much to my surprise, my wife told me as she and an old school friend of her's I had not met before were heading out the door for supper that when they got back they were going to take turns sucking me dry. This is a first. I've jokingly/suggested in the past that she could invite one of here friends to join us. Hope its fast food tonight!!!
 
  • Like
Reactions: danni_l_t

avg_joe

Sexy Member
Joined
Aug 15, 2006
Posts
3,055
Media
0
Likes
93
Points
268
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
what are your thoughts on them? do you think or have seen them help relationships? hurt relationships?

No opinion on this cuz I have never seen one in my life time. I was born and raised in the traditional marriage environment where I could rarely see the single parent families. But I personally like the open relationship with no string attached.
 
6

693987

Guest
Um, an open relationship can vary a bit by definition..

People can be swingers, and just go around and fuck other people... with or without including their partner.

Or they can be polyamorous. I've had a couple of poly relationships and they suit me just fine. I hate to use the words primary/secondary/etc for poly, but right now I'm a secondary partner with someone. He's married. He and his wife both have men/women they date. It's not just fucking. Hell, he doesn't penetrate my body. It's BDSM between he and I. He does have other people he sleeps with besides his wife.

At another point in my life I was dating one of my good friends. I was also dating another person. We all got along just fine, and on a day that was special for me, we all went out for dinner together. It CAN work, though it isn't for everyone. I wouldn't ever have interest in being a swinger, but polyamory? Oh yes.
 

Infernal

Superior Member
Joined
Sep 19, 2008
Posts
3,566
Media
7
Likes
5,140
Points
593
Age
54
Location
Phoenix, Arizona, United States of America
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
My partner and I have an open relationship. It took a lot of work and many uncomfortable conversations, as well as a few outright screaming matches to come to a comfortable understanding on it. It isn't perfect, but it works. We are very out of sync sexually and sometimes he's like a 16 year old with a raging hard on. I'm not.

It has helped us be more honest and able to communicate with each other, and when he's being a total cranky bitch, I can tell him to go get fucked, honestly mean it, and not feel bad about it when he does.
 

LisaMarie

Experimental Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Apr 15, 2012
Posts
1,524
Media
3
Likes
15
Points
273
Location
California
Verification
View
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Female
I get that but what happens if that special person never comes along? I view open relationships as the best way of finding someone special since you're experiencing several people at once and therefore making an informed decision of what you want in a partner. But it that's what you want to do then fine.

I could be misinterpreting what you're saying, but it seems like your definition of an "open relationship" might be different than what my definition is.

Your saying how can you know if you have chosen the right person unless you do some research and see a variety of people? (I think that's what you're saying?)

I don't consider that being in an open relationship. I call that dating. Not settling down and letting all the people you date know that you are not seeing them exclusively. Lots of people do that. Totally normal. Totally acceptable.

My definition of an open relationship takes place after you've done the research and you've decided on the right/special/chosen partner - then you tell that special person that you've chosen to share your life with: "Hey! Let's fuck other people!". That is a concept that many of us struggle with.

Not saying that those who do make that choice are doing something wrong. I just know that I personally couldn't handle it.
 

B_subgirrl

Sexy Member
Joined
May 15, 2010
Posts
5,547
Media
0
Likes
33
Points
73
Location
NSW, Australia
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Female
I wouldn't ever have interest in being a swinger, but polyamory? Oh yes.

I'm the other way around!! Sir and I have an open relationship (we're each okay with the other having sex with others), but I really don't think I could ever do poly (BDSM, or relationship based). I think there's something pretty amazing about people who can.
 

LisaMarie

Experimental Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Apr 15, 2012
Posts
1,524
Media
3
Likes
15
Points
273
Location
California
Verification
View
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Female
I'm the other way around!! Sir and I have an open relationship (we're each okay with the other having sex with others), but I really don't think I could ever do poly (BDSM, or relationship based). I think there's something pretty amazing about people who can.


I apologize for my ignorance on this matter, but what is the difference between swinging and being poly? I thought they were just 2 different ways to describe the same thing?
 

simbablk

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Nov 16, 2005
Posts
2,271
Media
26
Likes
4,184
Points
368
Location
USA
Verification
View
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
I think the problem with that was the rules of their open relationship. If he was allowed to see other women then she should've been allowed to see other men. Seems to like he was just trying to take her for a ride. And I disagree on the possibility of the strain it might make. If both partners are secure with themselves for a open relationship then there shouldn't be any strain on the relationship at all.

It was her idea to do this, not his. And she was also allowed to sleep with other men. They both said it ruined their relationship.

Simba
 

blazblue

Sexy Member
Joined
Aug 7, 2010
Posts
1,195
Media
0
Likes
35
Points
73
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Male
It was her idea to do this, not his. And she was also allowed to sleep with other men. They both said it ruined their relationship.

Simba

Even so that doesn't mean that open relationships are bad. I think the relationship failed because their relationship it was based on infatuation and them not being compatible not because if it was they were truly a good then they'd still be together. She said an open relationship ruined her relationship with her boyfriend by I think it saved her from a potentially disastrous one.
 

travis7

Legendary Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2012
Posts
465
Media
6
Likes
1,211
Points
213
Location
Texas
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
Why do some want a open relationship? Cause they have a crack n the relationship. And it's ending slowly. At that point they are just live together fuck buddies
 

VernalTiger

Sexy Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jun 9, 2010
Posts
533
Media
2
Likes
81
Points
373
Location
Melbourne City (Victoria, Australia)
Verification
View
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
I apologize for my ignorance on this matter, but what is the difference between swinging and being poly? I thought they were just 2 different ways to describe the same thing?

In my opinion, swinging and open relationships are more similar than swinging and polyamory.

My interpretations: Swinging conjures up scenes of sex clubs or group swaps.
Open relationships are a primary relationship with other sex partners on the side.
Polyamory is 3+ people in committed relationships, with the emphasis being on love, versus casual dating/fucking.

I've been with my partner for 4 years, with the last 3 being open. For us, it means having a committed relationship built on a foundation of trust and honesty, that includes having sex with others. In many, many ways, it's a lot healthier than my previous monogamous relationship. Cheating doesn't exist, though breaking the rules does.We tell each other about all other partners, practice safe sex, and check in on the state of our relationship constantly.

In my experience, the discussion process we required to come to a decision allowed us to create a strong relationship. We speak honestly, we can share stories, we acknowledge that even in a committed relationship, it's natural to find other people attractive.

To be honest, I could probably have a polyamorous relationship, though my man has expressed reluctance. Frankly, I don't need one - I get all I need from him. But it's also great having friends with benefits on the nights we can't see each other.
 
  • Like
Reactions: danni_l_t

dad4you

Expert Member
Joined
Jun 17, 2009
Posts
835
Media
0
Likes
149
Points
113
Location
Boise, Idaho
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Would it had made a difference if your boyfriend didn't consider you "his" type if you saw each other exclusively? And why weren't you seeing other partners while you were doing the same? Had you also had been seeing other partners beside your boyfriend, your break probably would not have been so bad.

No it would not have made any difference. I was in love with him. I always felt like I was cheating when I played with others. I am a monogamous bottom by nature, and have NEVER found a monogamous top. It has been my experience that men tend to me polyamorous as a general rule. I have yet to find a top man that thinks and feels like I do.
:frown1:
By the way, we were "together" for a total of 17 years. I have a LOT of patience. Yes, I still miss him. NO I do not miss the heartache of the off again, on again situation.
 
Last edited:

simbablk

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Nov 16, 2005
Posts
2,271
Media
26
Likes
4,184
Points
368
Location
USA
Verification
View
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
Even so that doesn't mean that open relationships are bad. I think the relationship failed because their relationship it was based on infatuation and them not being compatible not because if it was they were truly a good then they'd still be together. She said an open relationship ruined her relationship with her boyfriend by I think it saved her from a potentially disastrous one.

I didn't say it was bad. I said it works for some and not others and about being mature enough to handle it. If that's your thing, do you. But it's not mine.


Simba
 
6

693987

Guest
I apologize for my ignorance on this matter, but what is the difference between swinging and being poly? I thought they were just 2 different ways to describe the same thing?

I did just sort of explain what swinging and polyamory were, a few posts above yours...

Um, an open relationship can vary a bit by definition..

People can be swingers, and just go around and fuck other people... with or without including their partner.

Or they can be polyamorous. I've had a couple of poly relationships and they suit me just fine. I hate to use the words primary/secondary/etc for poly, but right now I'm a secondary partner with someone. He's married. He and his wife both have men/women they date. It's not just fucking. Hell, he doesn't penetrate my body. It's BDSM between he and I. He does have other people he sleeps with besides his wife.
 

rbkwp

Mythical Member
Joined
Aug 21, 2007
Posts
79,269
Media
1
Likes
44,949
Points
608
Location
Auckland (New Zealand)
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Why do some want a open relationship? Cause they have a crack n the relationship. And it's ending slowly. At that point they are just live together fuck buddies



ahhh travis7 ha love it ..
can be used to advantage, and lead to a mended / amended relationship .. ha