Open Relationship

marriedasian

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do you know why you want an open relationship? if so, have you shared this "why" with your partner and tried to work through that between you two first? asking for an open marriage is like crossing a line that you cannot return to. it takes a lot of trust to make it work and you must always keep jealousy (and potentially envy) under control.

as a general rule of thumb, i always tell couples who want an open marriage that you should only introduce that into the relationship as an enhancement and not a solution to an existing problem inside the relationship.

to answer your question, you can just simply bring it up. don't suggest that you two do it but ask the question of how your partner feels about it. that will be the first dead giveaway on whether or not you need to move forward with the idea of an open marriage.
 

yymmuser

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I think you should ask yourself this, not us. We don’t personally know you or know the history of your relationship. Just make a pro and con list. Share it with your boyfriend and talk about it.
 

TheMeatyProfessor

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While you're at it, be clear about what dimensions of your relationship you are wanting to open up. Is this a short-term or long-term desire? As important as it is to say you're considering this, be honest. If your partner shot down the idea, would you resent that?

Some practical questions: Are you simply looking for extra sexual partners? Are you also open for pursuing or experiencing romantic attachments to the new partners as well? And, as the saying goes, is what's good for the goose good for the gander too?

Finally, an uncomfortable point: how are you going to make this plan work under COVID?
 

4202HHN

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I don't get why two men would have a closed relationship, but obviously my mileage varies. It seems ridiculous to expect another man to have sex with me and only me for the rest of our lives, and I'm def not going to promise that to another man.

Don't bring anyone home without talking it over. Don't bring home a disease. Don't do anything that endangers the home we are creating together. Don't embarrass me or us in front of our friends. Those are my conditions. Other than that, let's fuck around and tell each other all about it. Hot hot hot hot hot.
 

indyfrat79

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I don't get why two men would have a closed relationship, but obviously my mileage varies. It seems ridiculous to expect another man to have sex with me and only me for the rest of our lives, and I'm def not going to promise that to another man.

Don't bring anyone home without talking it over. Don't bring home a disease. Don't do anything that endangers the home we are creating together. Don't embarrass me or us in front of our friends. Those are my conditions. Other than that, let's fuck around and tell each other all about it. Hot hot hot hot hot.


I agree completely. It's ridiculous to expect two men to only have sex with one another for the rest of their lives. I wouldn't expect that from anyone else and I couldn't do it. For us, a great first step was having three ways. Maybe the relationship doesn't need to be completely open but you just need to spice it up. Take turns chatting with guys online and inviting them over. This allows some of the fun to occur while still maintaining a true relationship.
 

elklindoxxx

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I'm currently in an open relationship with my partner. And I have to say that there is no THE WAY of initiating the conversation to discuss how to have an open relationship there are different ways about getting there. You have to have a good sense of your partner's limits. We are both basically promiscuous people so I felt that it could work. On the other hand, I've known other people who are more prudish so I wouldn't even think about asking

As for us, my partner brought up how it was getting a little boring and I agreed so I suggested that we should consider swinging with other couples for more variety. Then we agreed on the ground rules.

We have get togethers with other couples and swap partners. This arrangement where we do it out in the open is much better than cheating and our relationship has actually benefited from it.
 
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MrTMT

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I'm currently in an open relationship with my partner. And I have to say that there is no THE WAY of initiating the conversation to discuss how to have an open relationship there are different ways about getting there. You have to have a good sense of your partner's limits. We are both basically promiscuous people so I felt that it could work. On the other hand, I've known other people who are more prudish so I wouldn't even think about asking

As for us, my partner brought up how it was getting a little boring and I agreed so I suggested that we should consider swinging with other couples for more variety. Then we agreed on the ground rules.

We have get togethers with other couples and swap partners. This arrangement where we do it out in the open is much better than cheating and our relationship has actually benefited from it.
This is so true. I would agree on what you've listed here, especially when both of you are promiscuous. I wasn't in the relationship but was the "3rd person". Years ago, I met a guy, he kept pursuing me until I gave up and had sex with him on first time that I met him. When I met him for a 2nd time, he explained to me that he's in an open marriage with another guy. He said that both have agreed on allowing each other taking home whoever they want, no need to explain or approval.

This gave me a permission to continuing seeing him, otherwise, I wouldn't want to be involve. What I've found out later was during a few times that I stayed overnight with him, his partner displayed some very odd behaviors more like jealously type, either the night before or the morning after. I was never introduced to his partner but did see him at a distance at times when I was at their house.

They both had separate bedrooms, his partner on 2nd, he had his on 3rd floor.
 
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