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Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by pacman1062, Dec 20, 2010.

  1. pacman1062

    pacman1062 Member

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    This may be the wrong place to post. Something has come up with my 19 y o son, relationship wise. I'm not sure if he's looking for my advice, blessing or my disapproval.

    My son in a great kid with a good head on his shoulders about most things. However, he is not good with relationships. I remember being a teenager, but, their lives seem so much more drama filled though.

    Emotionally, he is not terribly mature. When it comes to girlfriends it seems that by the 2nd date he is in love. When they have had sex she is now the future wife. This happens over and over.

    Now here's the issue. Last night he mentioned a new "girl". She runs and lifts weights, is active and fit. Sounds to active for my kid to begin with. He mentioned a text she sent where she wants him to run with her and hang out. Ok, sounds alright. Then later he mentioned that she is ....
    30....with two kids.

    Whoa!!!! I do not like the sound of that. He's 19, She's 30 with 2 kids...had to say that again to make sure it was so.

    I don't know her at all. She may be a wonderful person. But, I can't imagine anything good coming of this. He is so emotionally imature when it comes to relationships. She is most likely wanting to prove "she's still got it and can get a young buck".

    I don't know why he mentioned this. He is usually kind of closed mouthed. I admit when I was 24 I dated a 43 yo. But, I had been around the block, I knew it was what it was. It was fun while it lasted. I just don't see him being able to deal with it. Sounds like if they hook up she's gonna be 30 with 3 kids (one of them mine).

    Maybe I just needed to vent.

    Thanks all.
     
  2. Incocknito

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    Maybe he is going around the block himself. It's all a learning experience. I don't see the problem here. If that's the worst thing your kid gets up to then he's actually a pretty good kid.

    I had a similar "opportunity" myself but I didn't take her up on her offer because I just have a moral aversion to that sort of thing. I think the baby daddy or someone who wants to be "there" should be having a relationship (sexual or otherwise) with a woman with kids.

    Of course everyone is different and what may be right for you may not be right for some (lol). And the world don't move to the beat of just one drum :tongue:

    No harm is being done though. Most likely their relationship will fizzle out or maybe they'll be together "forever". You should let him go on his own 'journey' tho lol.
     
  3. pacman1062

    pacman1062 Member

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    I agree, I just find it odd because;
    1) he almost NEVER mentions any details of his relationships.
    2) he made a POINT to mention the age difference.
    3) he is so immature about a lot of things.

    It's a case of I don't want to see my kid get hurt (which odds are will happen). I can't decide for him, but, I do think there is a moral issue here. She is divorced (so we think) and has 2 kids she's raising. My kid can't seem to manage to take care of himself. It just seems destined for disaster by the odds. I hope I'm wrong or hope that it doesn't get started. Just seem inappropirate to me.

    The odds of a 30 yo & 19 yo being at compatible "places" in life are much more remote than say 48yo and a 37yo.

    I believe if you have gone thru shit, you need someone who's been thru similar shit!!!
     
  4. Incocknito

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    Well I got the impression it was just a fling/sex. Which is fine because he can have sex with her and never meet the kids.

    I think it's inappropriate too but I don't think there's much you can do. Maybe have a talk with him?

    Also I think he just told you to brag. We'd all like a 30+ year old MILF...wouldn't we?
     
  5. pacman1062

    pacman1062 Member

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    I think there is a degree of bragging to it. I'd love to have a hot 30yo MILF. LOL.

    I guess, and of course have no way of knowing, I hope that he's not "meeting the kids", however, since she invited him over to "work out" on a school night....the kids might be there. That's part of the moral issue.

    Also, like I said, my main concern is the fact that he does have emotional issues when it comes to relationships. Especially since his mom left, he seems to "cling on" awfully quick.

    Hopefully, it just a "sex thing" and he can deal with it. If he get's "hooked" on her and she only wants sex, well then that will be his problem. I can't live it for him. Besides if she just wants NSA sex...I'm free and would be willing to sacrafice and do the hot 30yo MILF. LOL
     
  6. helgaleena

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    My guess is that he's going to find out he can't keep up with her fitness level and it will intimidate him so much he will never make a move on her. Either that or it will take so long to get fit enough to keep up that the infatuation will cool down into a friendship and he will see a younger female he likes.

    It's too early to panic.
     
  7. D_John Handcock

    D_John Handcock Account Disabled

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    come on Dad! let your son be a man... this is what we live for - to experience and learn from our adventures - good ones and failures! He can only find out for himself.

    boys will be boys! Older(not saying 30 is old) ladies need young studs also! Red44 just got a little young stud action and she's all smiles!

    Let your boy do a good deed and many may return to him.

    Just tell him to be safe!
     
  8. mexdude

    mexdude New Member

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    I wish i had a chance like that when i was that age
     
  9. SpeedoMike

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    a neighbor's 17 y.o. had a 31 y.o. woman as GF. she had two kids, the older being a 12 y.o. boy. his mother was happy he was in the relationship. I have no idea if it was platonic or not.

    it was kinda funny seeing him at the pool with her and the 12 y.o., they looked more like brothers.
     
  10. pacman1062

    pacman1062 Member

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    I do appreciate everyones opinions.

    He can do what/who he wants. I told him to be safe. I guess I was just concerned due to his emotional issues with relationships in general. You can't stop him from doing what hes going to do, nor do I want to stop him. It may fizzle before it gets started anyway. LOL
     
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