Oral and Relationships

[goodwood]

This is an interesting question a friend of mine talked about with me.
He wondered and then i wondered what the percentage is of people in realtionships that have oral sex - give and receive.
I had not thought of this before but upon further thought, the best relationships i have had involved very good oral sex on both sides.
What say you? does great oral sex or lack thereof help or hinder or affect a relationship either way? discuss amongst yourselves.

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

The feminist would kill me for saying this but the way to keep your man happy and your relationship good is to keep the blow job regular. Love your mans cock and he will love you

 

[jeff black]

The feminist would kill me for saying this but the way to keep your man happy and your relationship good is to keep the blow job regular. Love your mans cock and he will love you

Well the sexist in me agrees with you. However, so does the gay part of me.

Having said that, I've always thought that oral sex was just a part of the grand scheme of sex. Sometimes, it's used as prepping before penetration, and sometimes, it's just used to get someone off.

I couldn't imagine not keeping it as something regular.

 

[carlton10]

Well needless to say my ex-wife is an ex-wife due to such things- I love giving oral- Always have. But my ex didnt like it- She gave me oral one time and it didnt last too long- She enjoyed receiving it a lot but wouldnt reciprocate. If she didnt feel like having sex, I would just ask her to masturbate me and she would but then didnt like all "the mess" I made . I figure some women just feel a cock is for penetration/procreation and anything non vaginal is a no-no. "Anal" was also a four letter word. Just wonder if other men have found this with their wives. and what some sex therapist would say about it-

 

[got_lost]

My (not quite) ex didn't like receiving or giving...

I've recently had some practise though and if I find a new bloke he'd get woken up most mornings with it

I agree with JB - it's an important part of sex so would be included in ones everyday sex life. No?

 

[carlton10]

Guess he thought sex was for penetration/procreation only . Guess it might go both ways

 

[KamikazeTyphoon]

Oral doesn't have a presence in my wife and I's relationship at all. She had an ex who repeatedly sexually assaulted her and she can't bear to finish the job. In 6 years she's tried oral twice. I just had a back surgery go bad so no sex for min six weeks and with her "problem" I have to wait, I thought that virgin feeling went away once you got married. I wish she would give me oral, I know I'd feel more relaxed and less edgy.

 

[pornographicpoet]

Hmm....I don't know from what I hear and all - I always thought oral was taken for granted as a necessary part of relationships (at least among 30 and unders). that's why when one friend of mine said she doesn't give oral I was kind of taken aback. my 2cents.

 

[carlton10]

Just curious- Did she say why she didnt give oral ??

 

[pornographicpoet]

No, I didn't want to press her on it because I didn't want her to know I was a pervert. (I told her recently I posted nude pics and now she knows, anyway, lol)

But I will tell you that while I often in the past (before I was involved) fantasized about being with friends, hearing that statement automatically crossed her off the list as wanting to be anything more than a friend. Not that I'd like to anyway, I mean we've always had a mother-son relationship, lol

 

[carlton10]

Well I never pressed my ex on it either- Figured if I did I wouldnt get any at all.

 

[Jovial]

My take is that oral sex is like a barometer for how good the relationship is. That is, if I know a couple willingly gives each other oral sex, then I figure they probably have a pretty good relationship.

Now, for someone that doesn't give oral, there are two reasons. They either like giving oral in general but don't like the other person enough to do it, or they just never liked giving or have moral objections or grew up thinking it was dirty.

In the first case, the partner not wanting to give oral sex is a sign that they don't like their partner enough for some reason. Maybe they lost interest for some reason over time.

In the second case, people that have objections to giving oral sex in general, the partner will lose interest in sex and sex will become less frequent and the relationship will suffer for that reason.

So lack of oral sex in a relationship either means the relationship is failing (losing interest in each other) or it will eventually fail (from sexual frustration).

 

[MickeyLee]

as a wayward dyke i couldn't imagine being in a relationship without oral on the regular. i carry that same attitude over into my sexual going ons with men. *proud cock sucker here*

oral just isn't foreplay or prep, for me giving him head can be or is the full sexual act. hour long blow jobs are not a rarity in our house. to completion and repeat as needed. :tongue:

i understand that some people have icky pasts or hang up but at some point everyone needs to work through their hang ups and be willing to give their all to a partner. yea yea good girls don't, good girlfriends do.

ML

 

[goodwood]

MickeyLee - i love you! I will be right over. lol.

OK. so what i have garnered from this thread is that good relationships involve lots of oral because both parties enjoy each other in that way either as a precursor or as the main course.
Relationships that do not have oral as a main stay of enjoyable contact with the other one seem to have one or both people feeling frustrated. Am i inferring this correctly?

 

[MickeyLee]

yep. kinda.

maybe the real issue is people feeling valued and a bit indulged. resentments build up quick facing constant rejection or denial. lack oral sex just seems to be a marker for someone's inability to give to another person. for me, hell yeah i want my boy chomping at the bit to molest my sweet little ass. i like to feel wanted, that every part of me is desired and pleasing to him. the rush is wonderful. why i wouldn't do everything to share the feeling is beyond me?

ML

head kicks ass on a hallmark card.

 

[goodwood]

well thanks mickey.
i hope more women share your view.
i am surprised that more people have not responded to this thread.

 

[MickeyLee]

well thanks mickey.
i hope more women share your view.
i am surprised that more people have not responded to this thread.

i think it's the holiday weekend. i notice lots of the "Regs" are MIA. so the tone and pace of the board has shifted a bit in the last couple of days. the update issues might have forced people back into real life.

ML

try dating true bi-girls. we date other women, we have been on the receiving end of all the crap men put up with. we're on your side.

 

[goodwood]

hmm. i have never dated a bi girl. where would i find such a girl that would date me?
hey - 'how YOU doin'?' lol.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

hmm. i have never dated a bi girl. where would i find such a girl that would date me?
hey - 'how YOU doin'?' lol.

My g/f is pretty much bi. I also think that one of the main sexual reasons we got together is because we both are super aroused by oral, both giving and receiving. I think it's a sign of a great relationship if it has a strong oral component...making out, licking and giving/getting head.

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

The feminist would kill me for saying this but the way to keep your man happy and your relationship good is to keep the blow jobs regular. Love your mans cock and he will love you

Well the sexist in me agrees with you. However, so does the gay part of me.

Its cause it common logic. Men rate love by how much they use their cock so if you aren't feeling his cock then he aint feeling the love. Subsequently he's gonna be outta there to find someone who is willing to feel it