Oral sex and erections

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by RideRocket, Dec 13, 2005.

  1. RideRocket

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    My partner recently told me she doesn't like when I give her oral sex because my erection tends to go away. She feels like I don't find her attractive and that I'm just obliging her and that's why I go soft.

    I do find her attractive and I love giving her oral sex, but even with all my other partners, I've never maintained my erection while giving oral sex unless I play with my dick at the same time. My current partner has a bit of a hangup about me playing with myself while going down on her.

    So my question is, is this normal? Do other men experience the same thing?

    Thanks!
     
  2. rich-9.8

    rich-9.8 New Member

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    Pretty normal for me. There's only so long it will stay up with zero physical stimulation. If it bothers her that much, try persuading her to practise using her feet ;)
     
  3. TexanInVirginia

    TexanInVirginia New Member

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    Just keep explaining it has nothing to do with her. Guys can't stay hard forever and it's just natural. It just means she has more time to play with you hard.
     
  4. art

    art
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    It's normal. When you're so busy performing for her, and concentrating on her, you don't concentrate on yourself. Hence, you don't maintain an erection.

    You might want to enlist her help. Have her work to maintain your erection while you're pleasuring her. Both of you could be happy with that.
     
  5. GoneA

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    for you, yes, this is normal

    but why would she have "hang-ups" about you "playing" with yourself while doing her this service?
     
  6. rawbone8

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    "hang-ups"

    she has some expectations that say more about herself than about you in my opinion.

    maybe her idea of sex is that she must be the object of desire at all times — not satisfied with the fact that you are making love with her (as in merely doing your duty) — but that she's soooo irresistably sexy that your boner must be saluting and standing at attention! where's the heat and passion she reads about or sees in porno? shurely life's supposed to be that way for everybody?

    maybe she's a bit unsure that she's genuinely attractive to you and your limp dick is her confirmation of her own fear that she's lacking. Some people are mighty unsure and feel shameful about their "naughty bits" hence her discomfort with this — and probably she's not getting off on your oral ministrations if she's worried about any of this shit

    maybe her last lover had a dick always at full mast when he went down and she thinks that's normal for all guys — therefore she feels rejected in some way

    I think you can reasure with enthusiasm as you do it, and vocalising your delight and enjoyment as you give her your best, and try positions where she can stimulate you.

    Try talking about it with her when you not in the middle of it. Tell her its normal for you as mentioned in the post above. She has a need to know how hot she makes you feel, coz she has doubts about you being into her.
     
  7. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Does her clit stay erect when she gives you oral?

    Hmmmmm?
     
  8. B_RoysToy

    B_RoysToy New Member

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    Am I alone in not being able to keep a hardon if I do "concentrate on myself"? During sex I have to concentrate on my partner and the hardon takes care of itself. Somebody please raise you hand and say "I'm the same way"! :confused:

    Luke
     
  9. RideRocket

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    rawbone8 -
    You must know her - lol! Your comments are pretty right on - thanks!

    I'll keep trying to encourage her and let her know it's normal. As I said, I do love going down on her :)
     
  10. Matthew

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    RideRocket - you can tell her that with the amount of blood it takes to keep that thing up, you have to conserve it for the right moments or you might pass out :p .

    I'm like you (at least sometimes) ... but how can people be unhappy when you're so fully focused on their pleasure?
     
  11. rawbone8

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    sadly some people tend to see things only their way
    a reinforcement of their un-happy-ness
     
  12. B_horribleperson

    B_horribleperson New Member

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    after 15-20minutes of eating a girl out i will go soft unless i give it a few pulls to bring it back to life. what you may want to try is to think about how hot your girl is and how much you love eating her out and fucking her, think about how your gonna fuck her.

    also tell her you want to try out the 69 position. this way she will keep you hard and you will get to eat her out.
     
  13. KidBrown

    KidBrown New Member

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    Yup, the 69 posistion works pretty well to solve that problem. Of course, I get too excited sometimes if a girl is "pretty" down there, and it's tough for me to control myself until we have sex.

    However, last night I met up to shoot pool with this girl I had met at a coffee shop (seriously, I know it sounds lame) and we ended up drinking and taking a cab back to my place. Now we were both a bit intoxicated, and normally I'm never one to say negative things about someone's appearance.......but jesus christ.......

    We're getting into it a bit, I slide her underwear off, and I see the worst looking vagina I have ever seen in my life. I'm sure I had a look on my face similar to when my father used to bring brussel sprouts to the table. I'm not going to refuse oral to any woman unless she smells funky down there, but at the same point, it did nothing postitive at all for me. Usually I get really aroused when I go down on a girl, but in this case "loose lips sink dicks".

    I'm kind of digging this girl though, and I'm sure I'll get over my shallow side, but wow.....quite an experience, haha.
     
  14. james24

    james24 New Member

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  15. D_Cliebert_Chodechoker

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    Exactly waht i was thinking when i read the original post. Your not gona stay hard when your focused on something else your doing.
     
  16. FieldRatt9

    FieldRatt9 Member

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    My last girlfriend had a similar hangup. So what I did was talk her into 69 or at least wind up in the 69 position. She also enojoyed that she could control how much she had down her throat that way. Try it!!!!
     
  17. Shelby

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    I guess I'm the oddball even though I always thought pretty much everyone was like this. Eating pussy makes me hard as a rock.
     
  18. Matthew

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    No, I'm sure you're far from alone. There are some guys who like it better than fucking.
     
  19. D_Trumbell Trickledick

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    I am totally the same way.
     
  20. fri2219

    fri2219 Member

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    Oops, misread the question. Reply deleted.
     
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