[quote author=wvalady1968 link=board=women;num=1069595997;start=0#0 date=11/23/03 at 05:50:57]
"I was working with a small group of women this morning, and one of them shared a joke re oral sex....
We laughed, all but one. She's mid thirties, seemingly happily married for 12 years or so, two kids, attractive. She said she finds it a turn off, either way. No cun, no fel. ...
how prevalent is that attitude? ..."
[/quote]
You'd be surprised. (And, obviously, you were.)
Seems this attitude is VERY prevalent--particularly in certain "regions" of the U.S. and perhaps elsewhere, (worldwide) too. Many a southerner and mid-westerner especially has blushed and left a room quickly. There are just "pockets" of well-meaning folks around the nation who feel this way...men and women.
"Oral" is becoming more of an accepted practice--slowly.
It's not quite as "taboo" as it once was.
I take a lot for granted when I go out on a limb in this forum and delve into some strange areas (for me) to respond to. I also find myself here now, assuming alot.
But, here I go.
I'm afraid there are many mistaken ideas about the properness of "oral sex" and then the crux of the issue perhaps (for many) is ultimately the "morality factor" vs. Christianity playing into alot of this.
At the risk of offending some here--(my fellow Christians) I will just say that I have come around myself to viewing this topic differently than "how" I was raised over many years. I don't think it's a matter of my "selling out to the world or conforming to worldly standards" in my change of view. I've simply grown up...more ways than one. I see sex much differently.
What I have come to realize is that sex is a gift and it's purpose is more than for procreation. It's for pleasure.
I also (finally!) realized too, that people other than prostitutes and pimps are engaging in this kind of sex.
Now please understand, I don't condone many of the "practices" of today's culture (outside of marriage proper.) And, I'm NOT here today to debate over this.
But, I've been reminded as a Christian however (several times when working through this issue of oral sex vs. my faith) that God created sex and He meant it for pleasure for both man and woman. If we want to get into a scripture technicality to ponder, then read
Hebrews 13:4 which says "the marriage bed is undefiled". Many have interpreted this (which I believe correctly) that anything pleasurable between a couple (married in this case) is acceptable. THAT would and should include oral pleasuring for both partners. Recent U.S. "court flaps" over sodomy laws tend to also include married couple oral sexual activities as well. This is unfortunate and a big mistake. I have heard several nationally reknown spiritual leaders say publicly (implying, insinuating, etc) that oral sex within a marriage is perfectly acceptable. It is a private matter between two consenting people. The court system has been badly misaligned on this whole issue all the way around in many ways for years and years.
As to your trying to suggest to this co-worker "what she's missing"....I wouldn't bother. For some people, it's asking too much for them to consider. Perhaps in time, like me, they will do some careful thinking and some careful studying (if there's an element of spiritual confusion over this) and "wise up". There is so much discussion and reminders of this topic today, one can't help but FINALLY give at least some thought to it.
Of course, there's always the possibility that the mere notion of oral sex is plain ole repugnant to a person.
So, in that stead, we must allow them their right to choose for themselves.
