Orgasm or Depression- which would you choose?

[catman]

Here is one of those odd choices... a good friend at the gym was telling me...

Good friend of mine has taken some knocks lately....major family crisis, step down from an organization he was passionately involved in (politics), etc.. so he talked to his Doctor who put him on an anti-depressant...

He is feeling, and looking, and sounding a lot better- you can see it in his eyes. Nice looking guy, (not that it matters) but nicely built, nothing jaw dropping but nice, a solid 5ish soft, have seen him bone in the shower and looks like a decent 8, hairy.... (actually thats what started the conversation one morning but...)

after 6 weeks on this anti-depressant he has discovered he can NOT reach orgasm.... he said he can get solid hard, the whole nine yards...and fuck and fuck and jack and fuck and....but then...nothing.

so the choice is (he is currently talking to his doc)

feeling great but no orgasm OR depression and lots of cum?

just curious...

 

[D_Thyrnebeck Wrinklebeast]

I'm a researcher in psychiatry and my specialty is in depression in men. It concerns me that a doctor put him on anti-depressants. That's the way we're seeing things go these days, and it's really not good. That's just my opinion. Anyway... tell him to go to a psychologist. He should be aiming to get off the medication, and seeking psychosocial support. Sexual dysfunction with antidepressant use is not at all uncommon. But more often than not it resolves after coming off the meds

 

[dandelion]

What to say about depression? Some people suffer from severe and intractable depression and need help. I would guess however, that for most of us some degree of depression is an entirely normal reaction to everyday life and is a result of generations of evolution making us better able to survive. If a situation makes you feel bad, maybe the best solution is to realise this and get out of it. So your brain makes you feel bad until you do.

What to say about depression meds? I have read some of the trials data and the results for some are that they are barely better than placebo. If you do nothing about depression and just wait 6 months, it will probably get better. Depression med sellers tell you to take them for at least six months and then you will probably get better. Big surprise. They may make you feel better while you are waiting to heal yourself. Give you more drive and generally make you care less about things around you. Thus the discovery some of them boost suicide rates rather than reducing them, because the people concerned cease to care about whether they are dead or alive, and have more determination to go out and successfully suicide. Some of the more modern pills are inherently less dangerous, so not so handily available to kill yourself if so minded. Basically they are less than brilliant medicines, but then giving people antibiotics because they have a cold is pretty useless too (antibiotics do not kill virues), but it still makes people feel better because the doctor seems to be doing something.

I'm a researcher in psychiatry and my specialty is in depression in men. It concerns me that a doctor put him on anti-depressants. That's the way we're seeing things go these days, and it's really not good. That's just my opinion. Anyway... tell him to go to a psychologist. He should be aiming to get off the medication, and seeking psychosocial support.

Its an industry. It is absolutely not unique to doctors, all professionals become centred on the idea that only they can solve a problem. The solution to depression which has been caused by some situation in your life is to change the situation. Or I guess as the psychologists would be aiming to do, teach you to get a better perspective on a situation. This is very probably a time intensive way to treat people so much easier to hand out some pills which the profession claims work. A clear conscience for the doctor and no big bills for whoever is paying. Just a steady income stream for the manufacturer and repeat prescription fillers.

Sexual dysfunction with antidepressant use is not at all uncommon. But more often than not it resolves after coming off the meds

And what about those left with permant sexual impairment? Frankly the denial of sexual side effects of this class of medications ever since they were invented has been a medical scandal.

 

[onewatcher]

This is called anorgasmia. The body will adapt to the antidepressant after a while, and this will go away, and things will work as usual. There are other antidepressants that do not cause this, or, not to this degree. He definately should not stop the antidepressants without first speaking to his doctor.

 

[ncsu_computer_dude]

I had this problem also, after 3 years it got better after a while, but I could edge for hours. My problems was dating and relationship, so sex wasn't really an issue. I would stick to it as long as possible and talk to the doctor. There may be newer drugs since I was on them >5 years.

 

[catman]

he said it has been 6 weeks now

 

[jtmony08]

You can't medicate depression forever. I've suffered from depression before, but not like many others. I've never had to take anything for it, I simply got better. Since that does not seem to be the case for your friend, I guess the best option is to improve the conditions which caused the depression. A family crisis will not go away easy, but finding passion in something we enjoy is something feasible. I wouldn't want to be depressed, but I think not being able to cum would contribute to it. This happened to me some years ago, and after awhile, it created some problems. To recap: I would find passion and purpose in something new (even political scandals are forgotten) and winging myself off the medication. Even if he finds an anti-depressant that does not cause this problem, he doesn't want to become dependent on medication.

 

[L_egit]

You can't medicate depression forever.

Sure you can.

Your experience isn't the same as everyone else's. Some people have genetic predispositions towards clinical depression that can only be solved by a daily regimen of anti-depressants.

Whether or not 'solve' is a word that can be used in the circumstances is up for debate, but that's outside of the scope of the meaning you're trying to get across, I believe.

 

[jtmony08]

L egit,
You're right on two counts. My experience, like everyone's individual experiences, is different. Also, I guess you can medicate for the rest of your life, but would you really want to if you didn't have to? The depression he mentioned wasn't genetic predisposition towards clinical depression. It sounded more situational. Hence the suggestion for trying to change the situation. It's also only a suggestion. I'm sure many on here will rather take the medication and never orgasm. Their right, their experience.

 

[D_Pubert Stabbingpain]

It seems to me that not being able to orgasm would make the depression worse. Some doctors are too fast and easy to Rx. Situational depression is probably best treated with therapy (Cognitive Behavorial is good because it is short term, less than 4 months I believe). Although the med may have him appear better now, he will eventually have to deal with what caused his depression and find ways to accept the events and move on. If he is using the A/D as adjunct to therapy his depression will end faster. A/Ds have way too many side effects for doctors using them casually or without therapy.
I wish "the friend of your friend" all the best feeling "normal" again.

 

[rob_just_rob]

If I suffered from depression, I'd gladly do without orgasms to make it go away.

 

[798686]

I'd put solving the depression higher on the list than the orgasms.

As someone else said - the causes of the depression can be gradually tackled (if possible) over time, but when he's feeling a lot better. Then a lower dose may be possible, or gradually weaning himself off. I think he should give himself adequate time on the meds first tho - which will also help him to tackle things and get in a better place.

 

[Rikter8]

Sounds like Celexa to me.... That shit makes it Impossible to reach orgasm.

I would put solving his depression first. Once he gets back on the right track, He will be fine.

He may want to try a different type of anti-depressant. Some have less sexual side effects.

If I suffered from depression, I'd gladly do without orgasms to make it go away.

Absolutely. If you really are depressed, you generally won't think about even having sex let alone an orgasm.

 

[B_Craiggers]

If I was forced to choose, I'd rather have anorgasmia than be depressed.

 

[Over-reaching]

It's his choice, of course, but I think treating the depression (if it is severe) would figure more highly than the orgasms for most people.

However, some anti-depressants have more of an anorgasmic effect than others, and different people react differently (and sometimes idiosyncratically) to different drugs as well. Therefore, it is well worth his while talking to the doctor and exploring the possibility of a different drug regimen.

In addition, he might want to talk about other possible types of treatment (e.g. cognitive behavioural therapy, group therapy), which may or may not be appropriate in his case. However, even if other types of therapy would not be helpful now they might be when things are more under control and might enable a reduction or even a cessation of drug treatment.

I wouldn't think it would be a good idea to stop the anti-depressants without discussing it with his doctor, although it sounds as if he isn't planning to do that.

Also, if the doctor doesn't take the problem seriously, it might be time to look for a new doctor. Treating depression is important, but so are orgasms, and the problem mustn't just be simply dismissed.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Depression can cause you to kill yourself or even others. While not being able to orgasm can cause some depressive emotions on its own, its not going to have you in traffic with a rifle ready to take some people down with you. I've been anorgasmic due to blood pressure problems, it was depressing, but the human brain can learn to live without them. We go without them a good portion of our early life when we are growing up. When we age and are no longer able to do what we once could, we don't immediately wish to die. There are a lot of productive people who can't get an erection due to severe prostate cancer complications, or women who have never had an orgasm in their entire life.

Orgasms are secondary to survival. While it is sad now, you do eventually move past it and realize your mental health is something you cherish even more than orgasms. It is frustrating, but millions make this choice right along with him. Let's hope a better group of antidepressants are available in our lifetime where this isnt a choice we even have to worry about.

The brain fights for survival first, everything else comes next. You can learn to turn off some of the desires, probably never all of them depending on your sex drive. Life should get a tad easier as time goes on if you get a routine going to release endorphines and manage stress.

 

[benlikescanada]

Treating depression is most important, but not being able to orgasm wouldn't help my mood. I take Lexipro and don't have any issues with erections or orgasm. People react to meds differently, of course, but you may want to give something else a try. All the best!

 

[earllogjam]

It's amazing how many armchair psychiatrists there are here. Scary.

He needs to see a licensed doctor to discuss his anti-depression medication and his problem ejaculating. I wouldn't take anybody's advice here.

 

[D_Humper E Bogart]

Am I the only one who would find some joy in having orgasms?

 

[intelligentechoes]

I have actually been in this guy's shoes. Exact same problem, I went for about 9 months without an orgasm, but still able to be horny, hard, etc etc-- finally I was able to make it there one day, it took a LOT of work, heh. Still might be the best orgasm I've ever had. And the cum, whoah did it fly, heh.

But, people are correct that he should talk to his doctor/psychiatrist about the issue. For me, I was able to find an antidepressant that both worked for me and didn't have any sexual side effects (wellbutrin / buproprion generic name). I'm now off the meds (again, that was discussed with my doctor) and doing well.

So: long term, he shouldn't have to choose. Short term, he should stick with the meds he's got until he can discuss it with his doctor.