Other men hate/dislike me

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_aussie8in, Oct 17, 2009.

  1. B_aussie8in

    B_aussie8in New Member

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    Other guys don't like me no matter how nice i am, no matter that i'm not cocky or arrogant. I get along way better with females then any guy. they just seem to not like me. i'm not gay or anything just would be nice to either be ignored by the rest of the male species or liked rather then given evil looks or yelled at for no reason. i'm the strong silent type and a lone wolf. When i do group tasks at work females gravitate to me so i go in groups with them. whilst groups made up of 100% guys stare at me like theyre going to mug me or something.

    i'm not rude or anything, when guys talk to me i continue the conversation and talk like i would with females. i dont act arrogant at all but for some reason guys cant stand me. i consider myself a good looking guy but no where near brad pit standards. i just dont get it.

    At work and school i always tried to fade into the background and not be noticed. yet for some reason my bosses all know my name, everyone knows who i am when i dont have a clue who they are. Honestly i can't be anonymous and it pisses me off.

    If guys cant like me, then i'd rather be ignored by them.

    The one male friend i have is always so competitive with me , when i dont try to be and he gets mad at me when i 'win' stupid shit that i didn't even know i was competing in.
     
  2. Florida Boy

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    I think you are screwed up. Maybe that is how you come across to men.
     
  3. Rugbypup

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    This is unusual, clearly something is a miss.

    Not sure without knowing far more what it might be though...
     
  4. B_aussie8in

    B_aussie8in New Member

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    Maybe thats it.

    i have no interest in technology, cars or sports (except major events i.e US tennis open, Fifa world cup etc). Maybe thats why i dont get along with guys.
     
  5. Rugbypup

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    Young straight men, tend to have a need to bond, pack style and do so with other men they identify as equals or betters to themselves.

    In a social context, it doesn't do any good to have associations with males that would seemingly damage their credibility.

    I once heard a wonderful theory, that a man is given his masculinity by other men, he can not achieve it on his own. So in theory, the respect of other men is in essence what makes you a masculine guy, socially of course.

    Masculine guys are seen as male, respected and get the attention of women. It's a behaviour that young guys manifest when defining the concepts of their sexuality.

    So, again in theory, anything you do that would make you stand out of the crowd but not in favour of other males would make you a target.

    Sports, technology, cars, women are all stereotypical bonding subjects. If you can not be approached on such matters, how can they approach you? Perhaps you are being stand offish and cold to their understanding of friendship and bonding and do not even know it.

    How do they approach you?
     
  6. VeeP

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    Maybe you should be gay. lol j/k :tongue:

    But seriously, it may just be the way you come across, especially if you make a conscious effort to not be noticed (may give the appearance of being aloof, etc.). I'm often labeled as 'intimidating' but I don't see myself in that light whatsoever. I suppose it's because I'm usually not very outgoing.
     
  7. Swift2much

    Swift2much New Member

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    They all might be having on you,
    Maybe you just shouldnt care about other dudes,just keep being you!
     
  8. Contour

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    Your situation reads like the story of my bloody life bro, lol. I never knew why, seen as I do like to talk about sports, tech, cars ect and can easily talk about anything really; I never knew why I was so smooth with the ladies LOL Until I actually came out and asked one of my friends why I would be so unapproachable. He said that he had a negative view of me at first too, because just like you i'm a strong silent type, which to him came across as cocky/arrogant. He also said that because i'm bigger than most guys; some of them have complexes and feel belittled by me, destroying their egos, so they had to put up a fight, so to speak, to be equal. This pissed me off at first because it was a point of view I couldn't understand. But now when I am subject to it I laugh it off because its their problem, not mine!
     
  9. B_aussie8in

    B_aussie8in New Member

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    like i'd be walking and they'd approach me nd start a conversation, i reply and continue the talk by having open ended answers to their questions. but they talk for like a 10 minutes. then they're like cya around then never talk again. Maybe i'm boring, i dono women dont find me at all boring. but usually guys wont even approach me, there would be like ten of them in a group just talking and shit and i would be minding my own business on the other side of the room and working and i'd turn around and catch them staring at me and talking. i just ignore it.

    i thought i was paranoid or something until a teacher mentioned to me that i dont get along with other guys in the class (bak in highschool).
     
  10. Rugbypup

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    Hmmm, bigger... belittled...

    ...it's alright matey, some of know we're smaller, lol. :tongue:
     
  11. Ed69

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    One day,like me you will learn to stand on your own.I don't care to fit in and have enough backbone to stand on my own.You will too,or be crushed under sociatal expectation.
     
  12. Contour

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    I wish more did! I personally go for shorter men, but most don't give guys like me a second look lol. I guess it must transcend sexuality also..:mad:
     
  13. Rugbypup

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    Why's that then, you a Harvey Dent? All Phantom of the Opera stylee? :tongue:
     
  14. cbrmale

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    I sort-of straddle the fence on this one. On one hand, I certainly relate better to women, and I certainly strike up and keep friendships with women more easily than men. I do like women a lot, which probably shows. In my spare time I'm a published writer, and women are very interested in what I have read and the sub-texts beneath my stories. My writing is character-based rather than plot-based, so it's not typically masculine, which is why I started writing in the first place. I wanted to write a novel that men could read, but had characters that were deeper and more complex than the one-dimensional cardboard cut-outs that most men put in their stories!

    The other side of this is that I have some typically male interests such as Formula One car racing and AFL football, and I enjoy talking about these things with other men.

    For the OP, there's nothing wrong in making and keeping friends with women more readily than men, because women are generally more interesting than men. If my experience is a guide, this trait will help you with the intimate relationships that you have with women over the course of your life.
     
  15. Contour

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    I ought to come and discipline you puppy!

    No i consider myself average to goodlooking, lol.
     
  16. SomeGuyOverThere

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    The thing to remember is that conversation is a two way street, you can't just stand there and "answer their questions", if you want to converse with guys you have to be an active participant - ask them questions, preferably about themselves or a subject of mutual interest, and comment on what they have to say. I think you must be coming across as stand-offish or cold, which can help bond with certain types of women (as they get interested in what you're like beneath your exterior) but it makes men dislike you.

    You also sound like you analyse situations a lot and make a conscious effort to try and communicate with men, this probably makes you appear a bit unnatural and distant.

    I can be very similar and the way I overcome it is by telling lots of jokes so I'm always laughing and smiling - that makes people bond with you regardless of gender (as long as your jokes are funny - if you're not funny it has the opposite effect), I also ask people a lot of questions about themselves and listen to what they have to say, and try and pick up on anything that might be bothering them and offer to talk about it. Still if people catch me at a bad time or when I'm in a bad mood I can be quite distant or aloof, and I don't mean to be, I'm just usually a pretty passive person (for deep psychological reasons), but it has the effect of pushing people away. I'm working with a counsellor to help me through a few of the reasons I act like I do.
     
    #16 SomeGuyOverThere, Oct 18, 2009
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2009
  17. CUBE

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    I think you may need to put your self out there more. Ask a guy out for lunch or something...make the first move socially
     
  18. B_aussie8in

    B_aussie8in New Member

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    i'm not socially retarded i know how to carry a conversation.I make the effort, and guys are only interested for a short while. I'm funny and in group situations girls tend to focus on me more because i'm not shy, im funny and i can converse on a variety of topics. Guys in the group tend to try and emasculate me in these situations by bringing up something stupid i have done, or how i'm stupid etcetra. I'm actually inteligent.

    But i digress the point of this question is not that i want male company. It's that i dont want to be on any guys radar or have them hating me.
     
  19. SomeGuyOverThere

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    So, it's not your problem, it's everyone else's? Smooth.
     
  20. hud01

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    If you would prefer to be ignored, I bet you are throwing off that vibe. If you are being yelled at, I am guessing that there are problems at work and you may need to look in the mirror and understand how some alpha males operate.

    So again you are saying you put off guys, but you wonder why they don't like you. Females gravitate to really good looking or gay guys.
    You talk to guys the way you would talk to girls. Why? They are guys, they don't want to be talked to like a girl.

    This is ridiculous. Your bosses know your name and you are surprised. That is a good boss, not a bad one. The fact that you don't know their names is bad on your part, because it shows again that you are anti-social and not what would be considered a team or company player.
     
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