Other men hate/dislike me

[molotovmuffin]

your a scorpio rising... lol


welcome to my world!

 

[hud01]

like i'd be walking and they'd approach me nd start a conversation, i reply and continue the talk by having open ended answers to their questions. but they talk for like a 10 minutes. then they're like cya around then never talk again. Maybe i'm boring, i dono women dont find me at all boring. but usually guys wont even approach me, there would be like ten of them in a group just talking and shit and i would be minding my own business on the other side of the room and working and i'd turn around and catch them staring at me and talking. i just ignore it.

i thought i was paranoid or something until a teacher mentioned to me that i dont get along with other guys in the class (bak in highschool).

Note that the teacher didn't say that others have the problem, but that you do.

 

[modest123]

That's impossible. I know, for a fact, that everybody in Australia is nice. Even the kangaroos are nice.

 

[B_Nick8]

Even the kangaroos are nice.

But that dingo stole my baybee!!

 

[Stephenmass]

This quote of yours below I find interesting. Could it be that you consider yourself superior in intellect and they know it, so you come off as standoffish?

"Guys in the group tend to try and emasculate me in these situations by bringing up something stupid i have done, or how i'm stupid etcetra. I'm actually inteligent. "


I work with a "tough" crowd so to speak (long story short) and sometimes when they say things out loud about others or even about me they THINK they are talking over my head. I know exactly what they mean 99% of the time and frankly it doesn't bother me in the least.

I find guys WAY WAY more competitive than girls and I agree that the "packrat" mentality exists. They will tend to jump on the "alphamales" bandwagon in the office regardless of what THEY actually think just to "fit in".

I'm not like that at all. I have a strong backbone but have no need to be an alphamale. I can only be me, feelings and knowledge or opinions that I may have, but will never jump on a bandwagon because it's the popular choice.

While I love my work to be honest, I can't stand most of the guys that I work with because of what I consider their never getting past grade school mentality.

Their loss, not mine.

 

[D_Pubert Stabbingpain]

Certainly you will need to have some knowledge about typical guy stuff (e.g., sports players although many women know more now than the men but sports is always a good startring point) or find some other common interest, even if it is just that you live on the same street, just in order to break the ice. Any first impression they might have will melt away if you can do that and just be friendly. Keep in mind though, that may be all you will ever have in common. You may talk when you see each other but otherwise won't attempt anything more, like just hanging out together.

Typically, "be yourself" is the best advice but if you are not generally an outgoing person or a sports buff, having to force yourself will come across as phony and you will be better off having just a few real good friends instead of tons of acquaintences that just want to play mind games, like that one dude you talked about.

 

[KTF40]

We hate you because we're jealous of your 8 inches of confidence swinging between your legs.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

Just be patient. There are other guys in the world just like you. If you're open and nice with others, they'll just reflect that back at you. I've found that after I've gotten to be friends with guys and we trust each other, they'll be just as easy to talk with as your female buddies.

 

[deleted356736]

If you're in a group and the women focus on you, men will turn on you out of jealousy. This is one thing I have experienced. I have been in situations where there's only been one or two women, often younger than middle-aged me, and somehow they've recognised something and come straight to me. Of course I copped it over this, but I'm old enough to realise why, and I feel chuffed that women find me emotionally attractive. My wife gets the most annoyed when women flirt with me.

If you want to have men friends, and I do, then you do need to pick up on some men's interests and be willing to converse about them. In group situtations if you find yourself attracting the women in the group, I think you should go with it while recognising that it's all about other men's insecurities and jealousies.

 

[korinaus]

That's impossible. I know, for a fact, that everybody in Australia is nice. Even the kangaroos are nice.

Haha, I had a good laugh.

 

[korinaus]

If you're in a group and the women focus on you, men will turn on you out of jealousy. This is one thing I have experienced. I have been in situations where there's only been one or two women, often younger than middle-aged me, and somehow they've recognised something and come straight to me. Of course I copped it over this, but I'm old enough to realise why, and I feel chuffed that women find me emotionally attractive. My wife gets the most annoyed when women flirt with me.

If you want to have men friends, and I do, then you do need to pick up on some men's interests and be willing to converse about them. In group situtations if you find yourself attracting the women in the group, I think you should go with it while recognising that it's all about other men's insecurities and jealousies.

I agree that fellow men can be madly jealous of an attractive or interesting guy among a group of girls. Sometimes, they would what it takes to dwindle the guy. I think I was once dissed by a professor (Yes, professor) for this.

 

[B_eleveinchbreeder]

perhaps consider this..in ur statement you stated that ''I'm not rude or anything, when guys talk to me i continue the conversation and talk like i would with females.'' i...you may want to reconsider how u r speaking, your tone and content when you are speaking with men.
regardless of what anyone will say on the sexes being equal...they are not. men are completely different then women...women and men think completely differently. its by design, not an error.

 

[B_Nick8]

There's nothing I love more than eleven inches of sound reasoning.

 

[798686]

I think you just need some confidence and reassurance dude. Maybe you didn't have many opportunities to feel relaxed with lads as a kid in a non-threatening environment?

I'd think it just needs another bloke to be friendly and accepting with ya to make you feel at ease - you'd then realise it was nuthin to be worried about. You'll get there in time man, u seem ok.

 

[OCMuscleJock]

Sounds to me that you have a social anxiety disorder...it's something that can be treated. You seem to want to have positive interactions with other guys, but do not feel you fit in for whatever reason. This lack of positive interactions causes you to be very selfconcious. People like confidence, not arrogance, confidence. If you have a lack of self confidence, people can pick up on that immediately. It's a real turn off.

I used to be that way. It took a major reality check from a good female friend of mine to get me to notice how I carried myself and acted in pubic settings. It's VERY hard to change yourself from being the person in the background to more of a fixture in a room. *so to speak* It took a long time to change habits...but even today, I still feel that way around some people. I just don't let it show. Good luck!

 

[hoggindaz]

you sound like a douchebag no offense

 

[B_spiker067]

Other guys don't like me.

You say that like its a bad thing.

 

[Sergeant_Torpedo]

Men who find it difficult to relate to women but desire their company and their status (within macho sub-culture) will always despise gregarious, well socialized and female friendly men. If your male colleagues act as you describe then I can only think they are very low status males, with low self esteem who take refuge in systematic group bullying, however subtle (or unsubtle) that may be,

Having said that, I have been on the receiving end of the thread originator's venom in chat for no obvious reason. A viperish tongue I can ignore: it is after all contemptible behaviour, but to then feebly try and claim the moral high ground is just silly. I in no way condone what you claim your male colleagues are like, but I wonder perhaps why they are acting so pathetically.

 

[B_theOtherJJ]

You cant please everyone. Just worry about pleasing yourself

 

[QuiteOne]

I suspect the OP needs to take a fresh look at himself. I would speculate that if one of us observed him in these social situations we would see an entirely different thing.

He flatly states that ALL men he interacts with treat him badly. I find it highly unlikely that it's not his behavior causing the trouble. It's the classic "the whole world's against me" crap.