One is the age old chestnut - women hate it when men leave the toilet seat up. For men it isn't a big deal but for most women it is a pet hate, particularly if she is living with the man. Whole quarrels can spring out of that one toilet seat being left up. Men view it as just a toilet seat and what is the problem? Women will say you don't understand because they view it as men not considering their needs.
This IS a perfect illustration of the "you just don't understand phenomenon..."
What women don't seem to understand about the toilet seat issue is that men are NOT thinking of your needs while pissing. ( you should feel its a compliment that pissing does not bring you to our minds...)
Men only think about one thing at a time... and are oblivious to all other concerns.
If they are thinking about their job, the oil change on their car, or what they are going to do after pissing... that is all that is in there.
Really.
Leaving the seat up is NOT A MESSAGE. They are not showing a lack of concern for your feelings... they are not thinking about that at all.
As I explained to my wife when she moved in.... I will try to learn to put the seat down... and with practice, I will get to the point where I do so 98% of the time...
However... she should neither imagine that I am putting the seat
down because I am thinking of her needs.... when I get to the point of reliably putting it down, it will be because I TRAINED myself to do it AUTOMATICALLY... without thinking about it at all.
A LOT of what men do, they do as part of a routine... think of us like a trained Dog...we are not thinking about anything while performing our "trick" )
That I endeavored to train myself to do this is thinking of her needs.... but doing it? That's just become a habit.
So, please, gals, understand that men do not have the whirling blizzard of thoughts that form your mental landscape. Its all we can do to keep following those footprints to find that mammoth.
Further on the issue of the toilet seat... its reflective of the different, and equally valid, perspectives of men and women.
Women think EVERYBODY should ALWAYS consider the feelings of others... and ACT to accommodate other's needs....
This is a powerful and laudable civilizing influence on society. Women drive human behavior toward the civil and compassionate.
Men , on the other hand, take the view that , yes , wouldn't it be nice IF everybody actually DID those considerate things... HOWEVER...from the male perspective, if you rely
entirely on
others to watch out for YOUR ass... sooner or later , your ass is
gonna get wet.
To men... it seems astonishing that a woman could actually complain that she "fell in the toilet.
AGAIN!"
Falling in the toilet is something that has happend to every man.
ONE TIME.
And thereafter, we Learned that the toilet seat has the potential of being up... and we
check... we watch out for our own ass.
This perspective is not wrong... its good common sense and enhances survival to not entirely trust others to act in your best interest.
But for the life of us we can not understand why women seem incapable of learning this simple fact of life... that the seat MIGHT be up... how hard is it to check your mirrors before throwing it in reverse?
There isn't a woman in this country who would sit down on a park bench without scrutinizing the seat to ensure she didn't get anything icky on her CLOTHES...
But for some reason when their ass is bare, they will blithely plunk down on a toilet without so much as a glance?
Maybe what we need are toilets designed to look like a park bench.