Out-of-shape: where do you draw the line?

[cason]

Attraction and attractiveness are areas too complex in my experience to create a set of hard and fast rules about. There are so many character and chemistry unknowns involved in both meeting someone new and getting to know a person that it's like predicting climate change. There will always be exceptions to break all your rules and they will present themselves every time when you think you have a person type figured out.

I agree on this much, if a person has total assurance and confidence in themselves without arrogance, there's nothing more attractive and charismatic.

We all know what is stereotypically 'beautiful' for each sex but aesthetic beauty and attractiveness are not necessarily co-dependents.

I think a woman is most attractive to me when her humour and charisma suddenly yank me away from that stupid stereotype I can lazily buy into. I literally sit up and am like, 'Who is this?, Wow!'

And weight? well the most attractive girl I have ever known was bodily way too skinny in my eyes, but it was nothing her huge sexuality and charisma couldn't handle. By the time her eyes, lips and words were done with me I was gone. I was in awe of her.

As long as they're cool in their skin and their body doesn't say, 'I don't care about myself and I don't care about you, then I take each person as they come.

 

[_avg_]

Interesting. So it would would seem that the line everyone draws is this: your appearance must say that you care about yourself (or at least about your appearance).

That makes sense; if you don't care about yourself, why should others? I'm guilty of this. I don't take care of myself the way I could. I'm still pretty fit (5'10", 170lbs) but I have 10-15lbs of flab that I'm simply disgusted by. Though most of my female friends have said they would not be turned off by it, I am, and I was curious about this difference in opinion.

 

[qazwsx_182]

:lmao: That's only because the fat man is rich and or powerful. :tongue:

Yes, or very confident and self centered.

 

[D_Ivana Dickenside]

image matters to a certain extent, but it's not going to be the deal breaker if i were in a relationship. i like all types of men... big, stocky, skinny, short, tall, extra baggage, etc. however, i would draw the line when his image starts affecting his health.

for instance, say i had a significant other. if my significant other dramatically gained or lost a ton of weight and it started to cause problems with his health, i would put my foot down and make him get help.

two examples:

A.) gains so much weight he can't walk and his boobs are twice as big as mine.

or

B.) if he loses so much weight he can't breathe and looks like a skeleton.

then houston, we have a problem!

other than that, i don't mind if there's extra cushion, or less cushion, or if his hair turns grey and starts falling out. it doesn't matter to me. what matters is that the physical health is ok.

 

[Tristessa]

I like to be active outdoors, so my preference centers on fitness rather than appearance. If he's overweight but can still hike up a steep mountainside with me without gasping for air, the extra weight wouldn't really matter.

 

[Notaguru2]

If we are doing it doggystyle and he has to lift his stomach out of the way to get all the way in and I feel his stomach plop down on my ass he is too fat.

This sounds... like this has happened to you before :biggrin1:

 

[Marlboro woman]

It may not be very PC to say this but I prefer men who are muscular and athletic, I am not attracted to men who are overweight.

 

[Kassokilleri2ff]

I wonder what the correlation is between the womans weight and what she will accept in a man. The bigger the girl the bigger she will go for a guy. If its a skinny fit woman she probably wont like a guy who is a little over weight. If the woman is a little bigger she is going to be more accepting of a bigger guy.

 

[Marlboro woman]

You men are always looking for correlations! I am a 'little bigger' as you politely put it, but I cannot help the fact that I am not attracted to overweight men.

I wonder what the correlation is between the womans weight and what she will accept in a man. The bigger the girl the bigger she will go for a guy. If its a skinny fit woman she probably wont like a guy who is a little over weight. If the woman is a little bigger she is going to be more accepting of a bigger guy.