Over 50, Gay And Closeted.

Jkus2424

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I am over 50 and still closeted. Main reason I am still in closet is I am married to a woman and have kids (now adults). Back in my day whether you were bi or gay, a combination of conservative parents and social attitude meant most bi/gay people found a real deep closet. Wondering if there many over 50s bi or gay still in closet.
 

Exbiker

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It happens.

It happens everywhere, but I would think the midwestern US would see a lot of this happening. Lots of social pressure … often fairly simple communities … very structured ways of life.

It must be very tough … I assume you have little way to vent / give an expression to your feelings?

Have you done things with men, to experiment?

I know some married bisexual men, and some who I think are probably “really” more toward the gay end of the spectrum … I have had sex with a few of them.

So … look. I think the main thing, really, is to be sure of yourself. Secure in your own mind. Just quiet reflection can help with that … it’s not all immediate, obvious, simple, exact.

But a step beyond that, would be to talk with people (online, or in particular places in the real world) … Share experiences, insights … ideas? … that can be a great comfort. Some people won’t “get it”, won’t give the best kinds of input. But many will.

Going beyond and into the world of actual sexual experiences is very much up to you.

I send you best wishes from my corner of England.
 

51arledge

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I am over 50 and still closeted. Main reason I am still in closet is I am married to a woman and have kids (now adults). Back in my day whether you were bi or gay, a combination of conservative parents and social attitude meant most bi/gay people found a real deep closet. Wondering if there many over 50s bi or gay still in closet.

Look in the Safe Space threads, there are a couple of very good discussions.
 

Jkus2424

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I think your thread "gay and married to a woman" covered most of this topic did it not?
It might have with respect to gay guys married to women. But that is nor the main focus of this thread, which are guys over 50 still in closet. My reason is because I am married to a woman, but there are 1000 and 1 other reasons why older guys might be still in the closet. I want to hear from all, not just guys in the same boat as me. To to your point - that this thread is the same as the other, it is OK if you think that, but I disagree.
 

kcdave

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I think most of us stay that way because at a later stage in life it’s pretty disruptive. Yes I’m divorced after 30 years to a woman.
what would my kids think. After all these years that their father was gay
I’m still working in a career and it would be disruptive it work to come out.
Also people who have been my social circle for the last 40 years probably would find it hard to believe.
we all have to take the path that is most comfortable for how we live.
 
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