Overcoming gym shower fear

[RamblingCock]

Excellent blog post in Slate regarding this exact topic. I don't agree with a couple of the writer's observations, but he nails the overall challenge younger men are having when it comes to nudity in the lockerroom and how we, as a culture, ought to address it.

http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2015/12/03/locker_room_nudity_is_healthy_and_normal_fear_of_it_is_irrational.html

One thing he doesn't mention, and I didn't in my post above, is that when I see someone doing the prude towel dance I am left to wonder two things: why is he so embarrassed (which may lead to conclusion which would embarrass him more)?; and 2) Is there something he suspects about ME, which is kind of offensive.

My take is usually along the lines of "If you're afraid of being naked in the locker room, don't f*cking change or shower here. I shouldn't have to pay higher dues to pay for construction because you're paranoid."

 

[Simpson17]

I absolutely love this thread. Finally I found other people who have a similar struggle when it comes to getting an erection in the locker's room.
Just one day ago I had the most "advanced" experience of being naked in the locker's room.

I moved to this new city 3 months ago. I decided to go back swimming because I wasn't doing any physical activity.

I found a very good club swimming club. My first day was one day ago. Right before getting there I realized it would be a perfect opportunity to practice getting naked with no fear or anxiety IF:

1- The lockers room has such a structure that "promotes" nudity (I've been disappointed before by lockers rooms basically made for people who want to hide, like stalls between showers with doors).

2- The people who use it hold a "nudity" culture. In the past, even when I went to very open lockers rooms people would still avoid being naked by all means. Especially if they were mostly young (I'm 23 btw).

So, it all was as expected!

The locker room although has shower stalls with doors, the stall doors are quite transparent which was a bit shocking when I got there to put my swimsuit. There was a mall showering and I could see a lot although not completely. There was another man naked walking (they all seemed to be older than 30 years old).

That was quite an invite for me. I stripped fully naked and put my speedo, slowly. I got a semi but managed to not get very hard.


As I was finishing my swimming exercises I started to get very anxious and nervous because I knew the big moment was coming. As I got in the locker room there was another man there showering alone.

I went to my stall caring my towel and soap, still in my speedo. Right before geeting in there I made sure to get naked before I got in the stall. I took way longer than I would just to make sure we would be both naked in the banches arra. Another man came in and they started to talk.
He left before me and started moving around naked and didn't seem to be rushing or anything. He probably enjoys the mommet or/and feels very comfortable and natural.

That's exactly what I dream about actually: being able to feel included, feel like a real man that makes no big deal out of it. But, interesting enough, in order for that to happen I should probably forget about it.

I related so much to this:

When I was young...well into my twenties, the second part of reason #2 was why I couldn't do open showers, which was extremely frustrating because I fantasized about being able to be naked with guys in these situations. I was so turned on by seeing naked men...and even more so by having them see me naked that an erection was unavoidable.

Not sure what OP meant, especially because later he mentions he's gay. But in my case, my "fantasies" have nothing to do with sex. It's all about the moment. I get anxious even thinking about being naked among other men.


Coming back to my story...
I soon left the stall only holding my towel and naked. I dried a little near the stall and engaged in their conversation. It was bit tough to control my erection but I managed for most of the time. I tried to focus as much as I could in the actual subject. I probably stayed naked and walked around a little bit for at least 5 to 10min. I even used the scale.
A few minutes before I changed I got a semi, then I proceed to put my clothes on.
The second guy had a big penis, which probably lead me to sexualize more the whole thing.

When I got back to my company's building I spanked one in its locker room stall. When I got home I did it again as I got aroused by researching about the subject.

 

[hot showers]

I absolutely love this thread. Finally I found other people who have a similar struggle when it comes to getting an erection in the locker's room.
Just one day ago I had the most "advanced" experience of being naked in the locker's room.

I moved to this new city 3 months ago. I decided to go back swimming because I wasn't doing any physical activity.

I found a very good club swimming club. My first day was one day ago. Right before getting there I realized it would be a perfect opportunity to practice getting naked with no fear or anxiety IF:

1- The lockers room has such a structure that "promotes" nudity (I've been disappointed before by lockers rooms basically made for people who want to hide, like stalls between showers with doors).

2- The people who use it hold a "nudity" culture. In the past, even when I went to very open lockers rooms people would still avoid being naked by all means. Especially if they were mostly young (I'm 23 btw).

So, it all was as expected!

The locker room although has shower stalls with doors, the stall doors are quite transparent which was a bit shocking when I got there to put my swimsuit. There was a mall showering and I could see a lot although not completely. There was another man naked walking (they all seemed to be older than 30 years old).

That was quite an invite for me. I stripped fully naked and put my speedo, slowly. I got a semi but managed to not get very hard.


As I was finishing my swimming exercises I started to get very anxious and nervous because I knew the big moment was coming. As I got in the locker room there was another man there showering alone.

I went to my stall caring my towel and soap, still in my speedo. Right before geeting in there I made sure to get naked before I got in the stall. I took way longer than I would just to make sure we would be both naked in the banches arra. Another man came in and they started to talk.
He left before me and started moving around naked and didn't seem to be rushing or anything. He probably enjoys the mommet or/and feels very comfortable and natural.

That's exactly what I dream about actually: being able to feel included, feel like a real man that makes no big deal out of it. But, interesting enough, in order for that to happen I should probably forget about it.

I related so much to this:



Not sure what OP meant, especially because later he mentions he's gay. But in my case, my "fantasies" have nothing to do with sex. It's all about the moment. I get anxious even thinking about being naked among other men.


Coming back to my story...
I soon left the stall only holding my towel and naked. I dried a little near the stall and engaged in their conversation. It was bit tough to control my erection but I managed for most of the time. I tried to focus as much as I could in the actual subject. I probably stayed naked and walked around a little bit for at least 5 to 10min. I even used the scale.
A few minutes before I changed I got a semi, then I proceed to put my clothes on.
The second guy had a big penis, which probably lead me to sexualize more the whole thing.

When I got back to my company's building I spanked one in its locker room stall. When I got home I did it again as I got aroused by researching about the subject.

Hey man. I'm so glad you could relate to my post. I can relate to every emotion you describe. I can remember like it was yesterday that nervous excitement I would get every time I would peel off my speedo, never quite sure if my dick would cooperate or spring to attention. It was a thrilling "point of no return", knowing that once I peeled it off, all the guys around me were about to see my penis regardless of whether it cooperated. I've long since learned to control erections in these situations and guys see my dick all the time (since my gym has open showers), but I still get an exhilarating feeling every time I peel off a speedo, drop shorts, or unwrap a towel and let it all hang out!

Send me a message if you want to chat

 

[Simpson17]

A little update after almost a week.

I went to that locker room more two times since I posted it, the last time was today.

It was very good this time. Here's what I did:

As soon as I got in the locker room I took off my speedo. Nobody was there yet.
I spent some minutes there naked and along, trying to make my mind get used to the surroundings. Doing some math to control an erection and such.

Then, I grabbed my soap and walked to the shower stalls. I didn't bring my towel with me.

I left the door half open (although it is almost completely transparent). Two men walked in, they were talking about football and tried to concentrate on their subject so I didn't think about what was happening.

One of them left, walking naked holding his towel. They continued to talk. There was another one who had arrived before and who also left with his stuff hanging.

They were all so relaxed and facing the whole thing as if there were fully clothed. They didn't even try to avoid looking at each other, it really felt completely natural to be naked and to see their folks naked. I wish I get there one day.

Here it comes my part:

I left the stall naked and not holding anything in my hands. I struggled a bit to control an erection.

As soon as I get in the banches one of the guys was there finishing packing and sitting. He was taking to someone in one of the stalls.

He saw me all the day walking naked.

I immediately sitted on a banch because a semi was becoming too obvious.

Then I decided to break the tension in my head by trying to engage with them in a conversation:

I asked the guy near me who was packing:

"When is it going to get cold here in this state?" (I'm from Brazil, so it's Autumn now).

He replied very friendly and asked me where I was from. Then the conversation continued. I almost forgot I was naked. I stood up and continue drying (with a very small towel) as I talked to him.

The man who was showering came, completely naked and holding nothing as well. He had a fairly big dick, uncut like most of us here and I tried to give it a good look without. I tried my best to look at him naturally and internalize that I was looking at something natural: a penis, just like mine but white and bigger lol.

I kept talking to them for a few more minutes, we all talked about careers and how I am adapting to this new state.

Many times I faced them, my dick was soft and I didn't worry much about getting an erection.

For the very first time I felt completely included and secure being naked and seeing another man naked. I made sure they looked at my dick as I did to one of them. They saw it, they acknowledged it. I saw it, I acknowledged it. We all share our most exposed and fragile state and we don't care. I don't care. I felt so much comfort and acceptance. I've longed for this scene to happen for so long, and although I got close to it before (even last week) it finally happened as I wanted:

I was naked in front of other men, we chatted as we realise each other's penis. Not a big deal.

I still have some work, for sure. I still felt the need to hide a few times because I was getting aroused. But I'd say that 85% of the time I was OK.

I can't wait to do this more and only enjoy the moment. Not worrying about getting aroused.

That's my best advice:

try to connect to the other people in the room. Start a conversation. It will bring you back to earth and make them relatable. It's totally ok to look at their dicks (not stare lol). It's totally okay to wish to be naked among them. It's not sexual, it's not shameful. It's very liberating, it boost your self confidence and masculinity. It helps you feel accepted and mature, that's for me at least.

 

[Simpson17]

Hey man. I'm so glad you could relate to my post. I can relate to every emotion you describe. I can remember like it was yesterday that nervous excitement I would get every time I would peel off my speedo, never quite sure if my dick would cooperate or spring to attention. It was a thrilling "point of no return", knowing that once I peeled it off, all the guys around me were about to see my penis regardless of whether it cooperated. I've long since learned to control erections in these situations and guys see my dick all the time (since my gym has open showers), but I still get an exhilarating feeling every time I peel off a speedo, drop shorts, or unwrap a towel and let it all hang out!

Send me a message if you want to chat

Thanks again for your availability.
obs.: for the ones reading, we did talk throw mesages since then

 

[Silbot.]

I'm generally more modest ....

For me, my fear is people thinking I'm a creeper. Conversely, I don't want to be getting attention from those that I find unattractive.

This right here.

 

[Sherwood D. Likelym]

I wear glasses. I depend on my glasses. When I'm in the locker room and go to take a shower, I take my glasses off. I figure if I can't see you, you can't see me. Although I know it's not true, mentally that's my thought.

Comical ... I was surprised to actually see this "thread". I never realized that nudity was this huge issue. I've only read 2 pages of replies that exceed 11 so far, and am glad that I never had to "deal" with the insecurity. I was born in 1950; possibly, we had less to "fear" back then (I never learned homosexuality existed until 1969). I may have been naïve, or just was unaware anyone had "shower" problems.

I guess that I can recall a potential "erection" fear was encountered in 8th grade athletics during a group physical exam (sort of like a communal shower situation). Around 50 of us ranging in age from 13-18, stripped naked in the high school cafeteria for our football team's physical qualification. 3 female nurses and male doctors were present, and I felt it would be inappropriate to spring a boner. I did observe a couple guys erect, and I may have felt embarrassed for them, but I never heard anyone get teased about their penis' condition.

 

[sean2592]

We never even thought about taking a shower in middle school. The teacher actively discouraged it and the one time a couple guys did shower, he got upset with how much water they got everywhere. There were only four stalls, all with curtains and they were used for changing, including by myself. I was still wearing briefs at that point and I was very afraid of being made fun of by the relentless teasers that are middle school boys.

Where I grew up, we were required to take two semesters of phys ed, usually one freshman year and one sophomore year. I knew the locker room was much, much more open than middle school. It didn't even have toilet stalls, let alone shower stalls. So I breathed a sigh of relief the summer before my freshman year when I got my computer-generated schedule and discovered I wouldn't have to face gym class until second semester.

Soon enough, though, the holiday break came, one year rolled into another and the semesters changed. I had gym second-to-last period of the day. We had an orientation period our first class, going over expectations, picking lockers etc. The teacher emphasized that he couldn't require showers, but they he did strongly encourage them and would be more than willing to give enough time after class to make sure everyone could shower.

I knew that showering was the right thing to do, so I packed a towel and some supplies the next time I had gym and prepared to face the showers. After class, I was surprised when only one other guy decided to hit the showers. He treated it mostly as a joke too, an excuse to make other guys uncomfortable by running around the locker room naked. I, meanwhile did the towel dance and headed to the showers wrapped up.

The way the locker rooms were arranged, the shower bays were along one side. There was a drying room with an entrance from the middle of the proper locker room, and then one bay to the left and one to the right. The way things were built, you couldn't actually see into the shower bays from the locker room. Each bay had seven shower heads: three on the wall opposite the door, two on each of the sidewalls and two on the front walls next to the entrances. For some reason, the other guy and I both used the same shower room and both used the showers next to the entrances. I think we actually wanted the most privacy if anyone came in.

The shower was normal, pretty quick. Afterwards, I left the shower bay and wrapped myself in my towel as I entered the drying area. And that's when the laughs started. At first I wasn't sure what happened, but then I looked down: I had a small erection under my towel. Pretty much the most embarrassing thing possible for a high school freshman.

There wasn't a lot of showering the rest of that year, for me or for anyone else. Sophomore year, though, I had gym earlier in the day and a lot more guys had become more comfortable with the showers because of sports and just the general passage of time. I still couldn't join them. I was too afraid I would get another erection and be labeled again. Even when a cute girl asked me why I didn't shower after class like the other guys, I couldn't force myself to overcome my fear. I only ever used the high school showers again when I was alone in the locker room.

And since high school, I've never used a communal shower. I've barely even used a locker room. However, I would like to work on overcoming this fear. I think the idea of a communal shower is completely natural and practical. They seem like a normal thing to do. I'd like to find a locker room with an open shower near me and start to work up the courage to use it with no fear. And no erections.

Sorry this was so long. I haven't really told that story in the 10+ years since it happened because I've been so embarrassed. Need to let it out to make things better.

 

[Silbot.]

We never even thought about taking a shower in middle school. The teacher actively discouraged it and the one time a couple guys did shower, he got upset with how much water they got everywhere. There were only four stalls, all with curtains and they were used for changing, including by myself. I was still wearing briefs at that point and I was very afraid of being made fun of by the relentless teasers that are middle school boys.

Where I grew up, we were required to take two semesters of phys ed, usually one freshman year and one sophomore year. I knew the locker room was much, much more open than middle school. It didn't even have toilet stalls, let alone shower stalls. So I breathed a sigh of relief the summer before my freshman year when I got my computer-generated schedule and discovered I wouldn't have to face gym class until second semester.

Soon enough, though, the holiday break came, one year rolled into another and the semesters changed. I had gym second-to-last period of the day. We had an orientation period our first class, going over expectations, picking lockers etc. The teacher emphasized that he couldn't require showers, but they he did strongly encourage them and would be more than willing to give enough time after class to make sure everyone could shower.

I knew that showering was the right thing to do, so I packed a towel and some supplies the next time I had gym and prepared to face the showers. After class, I was surprised when only one other guy decided to hit the showers. He treated it mostly as a joke too, an excuse to make other guys uncomfortable by running around the locker room naked. I, meanwhile did the towel dance and headed to the showers wrapped up.

The way the locker rooms were arranged, the shower bays were along one side. There was a drying room with an entrance from the middle of the proper locker room, and then one bay to the left and one to the right. The way things were built, you couldn't actually see into the shower bays from the locker room. Each bay had seven shower heads: three on the wall opposite the door, two on each of the sidewalls and two on the front walls next to the entrances. For some reason, the other guy and I both used the same shower room and both used the showers next to the entrances. I think we actually wanted the most privacy if anyone came in.

The shower was normal, pretty quick. Afterwards, I left the shower bay and wrapped myself in my towel as I entered the drying area. And that's when the laughs started. At first I wasn't sure what happened, but then I looked down: I had a small erection under my towel. Pretty much the most embarrassing thing possible for a high school freshman.

There wasn't a lot of showering the rest of that year, for me or for anyone else. Sophomore year, though, I had gym earlier in the day and a lot more guys had become more comfortable with the showers because of sports and just the general passage of time. I still couldn't join them. I was too afraid I would get another erection and be labeled again. Even when a cute girl asked me why I didn't shower after class like the other guys, I couldn't force myself to overcome my fear. I only ever used the high school showers again when I was alone in the locker room.

And since high school, I've never used a communal shower. I've barely even used a locker room. However, I would like to work on overcoming this fear. I think the idea of a communal shower is completely natural and practical. They seem like a normal thing to do. I'd like to find a locker room with an open shower near me and start to work up the courage to use it with no fear. And no erections.

Sorry this was so long. I haven't really told that story in the 10+ years since it happened because I've been so embarrassed. Need to let it out to make things better.

Good on you for putting it out there! That takes balls. Definitely time to move past it, it looks like you’re ready to, and your on the right track. Just find yourself that gym. And when you do, keep in mind that everyone else, like you, is thinking of only one thing: themselves.

 

[Sherwood D. Likelym]

Thanks for sharing @sean2592 -- I'm ashamed that any of us could be so insensitive ...

 

[sean2592]

Thanks for sharing @sean2592 -- I'm ashamed that any of us could be so insensitive ...

High school boys are ruthless. Deviate from the norm a little and they'll break you.

 

[1IamSmall123]

You missed one point... the creepers at the gym... guys who never go to actually workout but are always in the shower / steam. Having said that I still shower naked.

I'm a straight social nudest.
I swim a lot.
There is no whirlpool.
And I have several sports related injuries .
I often blast the hottest water on my injured areas and I may do it for a half an hour.
No perv going on.
I'm in a athletic facility taking care of an athletic condition.
I can't be the only one.

 

[Fotographer001]

I'm going through this change/ transformation/ discovery right now... slowly getting use to being naked in the showers..... I'm in my early 30s and its slowly getting less strange...

 

[223790]

I'm going through this change/ transformation/ discovery right now... slowly getting use to being naked in the showers..... I'm in my early 30s and its slowly getting less strange...

The more you do it, the less strange it will become. I'm so used to showering with other guys over the last 30+ years that it actually feels weird to shower alone now! LOL!

 

[Fotographer001]

The more you do it, the less strange it will become. I'm so used to showering with other guys over the last 30+ years that it actually feels weird to shower alone now! LOL!

Thanks for your reply.... ya I remember when I first tried to shower naked when I was 18, 19.... but gosh hormones were crazy. Now hormones are a little more under control. I was showering last weekend naked with other guys at there spots.... and it strangely felt normal.

 

[Spike Baltar]

We never even thought about taking a shower in middle school. The teacher actively discouraged it and the one time a couple guys did shower, he got upset with how much water they got everywhere. There were only four stalls, all with curtains and they were used for changing, including by myself. I was still wearing briefs at that point and I was very afraid of being made fun of by the relentless teasers that are middle school boys.

Very, very different experience from when I went to middle school in the early 80s. We were required to shower daily and there was no one poking fun at others...I was totally prepubescent but half the class had already sprouted hair. Nobody said anything. We continued to take showers until the end of high school.

 

[SuperGrower]

When I was really young I didn't want to be seen naked because I was embarrassed at the large size of my penis. I was a member of the local YMCA where we had to swim naked and I didn't like doing it at all. There was one day a week for women and one for men. I don't think they do that anymore.
When I was in high school I was on the swim team and we had to wear a Speedo and I didn't like how big my penis looked in it. Those days are gone and I love all the "spectators" wherever I encounter them.
I wore a pair of very baggy sweats (with no underwear) to the gym today because it was relatively cold this morning. When I walked through the gym to the locker room dressed like in this picture, half the men that had been working out ended up in the locker room presumably to watch me change. haha.
I took a long long time so they would have plenty of time to hopefully enjoy the view.
So the days of being embarrassed by it's unusual size are gone.


View attachment 610684 to .

Since I was once shy for being small (and not understanding being a grower) it sounds almost crazy to think that you were embarrassed...

 

[theaveragedude]

Junior high school - never took a shower after gym. We had the communal one around the post. I was a late bloomer so, no way. High school we the communal showers as well but I used that rarely after gym. More for after track practice. College also a communal shower with 4 heads. I was quite comfortable by then, and i also learned that some of my dorm mates had some magnificent cocks.

 

[223790]

I was thinking of this thread tonight after my workout at my Y. I happened to finish my workout at the same time as a really good looking and incredibly fit young guy who I would guess is 20 years old. His locker happened to be beside mine. He got unchanged quickly and wrapped a towel tightly around himself. I stripped off as usual to head to the open shower naked (I never wrap a towel around myself). I noticed when I entered the shower room that he was in the 1 stall that's in the open shower with the curtain closed. I went into the steam room and he came in shortly after. We started chatting and I noticed him loosen his towel (I sit on mine naked). I got up to hit the shower to cool off in mid conversation without wrapping a towel around myself (I never do). When I came back to the steam room he continued to chat with me. When we finished in the steam room we both hit the showers together and continued our conversation. I expected him to head back to the stall and close the curtain, but he didn't this time. Instead he took the shower head across from mine, so we could continue talking. I was quite surprised by the sudden change in his shower behavior. Because he finished a minute before me, he put out his hand to shake hands with me while we were both naked. After exiting the shower, he seemed more relaxed drying off and walking back to his locker. I was right behind him heading to my locker because I finished showering a minute after him. He also seemed more relaxed getting changed at his locker as well. He told me that he had just started at the Y. The fact that he signed up for the plus locker room tells me that he intended to use the facilities because it comes at a premium price. The Y is the only gym left in the city that still has an open shower. He could have signed up at any other gym in the city that has all shower stalls, but he still chose the Y. I can't help but wonder if this young guy was just looking for some guidance which I provided by being naked the whole time I was with him. It was quite an about face. Normally in my experience, it takes guys a couple of months to loosen up as much as he did. I wonder if he was lacking a male role model in his life and truly didn't know what was appropriate in the men's locker room. With the number of single moms raising sons nowadays and absentee fathers, I wouldn't be surprised.

 

[Sherwood D. Likelym]

Sometimes I wonder … fear of exposing our nakedness, or accepting "new" conservative dogmas?