I had a girlfriend, Jemima, a while back, broke up with her, but still remained friends because we shared a lot of the same values and had a lot in common. Once we became friends there wasnt a hint of sexual tension. Each party lost interest and I went on to bang other girls. Eventually she moved across the country, had other boyfriends, new job, life, etc. We still kept in touch and would call one another once a month or so to catch up. Heres what bothered me: We are both Type A people; theres no doubt about that. Shes chatty, Im chatty. The difference lies in that even though I can be a long-winded story teller, I also ask people questions that let them talk about their passions, and then ask follow up questions, and actually ENGAGE in a conversation. With Jemima, the engagement would occur on my side asking about her life. But then the conversation would shift to me (she would ask me what was new with me) and I would have to go into a monologue about myself. Now, I dont mind talking about myself (doing it right now, I suppose), but when someone doesnt ask follow up questions, it doesnt feel right to me. I tend to shut down because it doesnt feel like there is dialogue. I might as well be talking to myself. Now with Jemima, that is her style, whether the other party is male or female. And she does listen, I would test her or certain things to see if she were listening and she always was. In the end, it was too much of a pet peeve with me and the last conversation we had (maybe 3 months ago) I really dug into her about it. I was really heavy-handed about it and I think that ended the relationship. I guess its for the best, though, if its such a big deal to me (and I guess it is due to my incessant scolding). In the situation above was I trying to smack a round peg into a square hole? Should I have either dealt with Jemimas short-comings or moved on? Do you think people who talk incessantly about themselves (with little to no questions about your life and what youre doing) are deeply insecure and social misfits. I always try to ask people questions (even if I am truly not interested, but in a setting where you have to be polite). The only time I will ramble without much stopping (if the person is new to me) is if the person is so quiet/guarded that they need a chatty lead-in from the other person to start participating. Maybe my training as a vacuum cleaner salesman has helped a great deal J My sister is like Jemima. She is so self-consumed (and her discussions arent even fun) and nobody (quite possibly her husband, too) really likes her. All members in my immediate family are Type As (either completely or partially). So when my sister doesnt reciprocate with the questions, all of the Type As get annoyed.