Pain after sex

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Kayden96, Sep 1, 2009.

  1. Kayden96

    Kayden96 New Member

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    My girlfriend says every time we have sex her vagina hurts for at least a day. It doesn't matter if it's sex for 5 minutes or an hour. She said peeing hurts really bad too. We're both clean and have only been with each other for years.

    She said it wasn't a problem when we first got together (or was a different kind of sore... I'm not sure what to make of that.) However, after about the 6 month mark, she said it became painful after sex. She also said it was never an issue with any previous boyfriends.

    I always try to make sure she's well lubricated before penetration. She's said that using lubes can actually make it burn more. I never have to push hard to insert and I always try to be gentle.

    Is there anything that can be done to prevent/ease her pain?
     
  2. dolfette

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    ...allergy perhaps?
    some condoms & lubes leave me red raw.
     
  3. Enid

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    do you use condoms still? perhaps she developed an allergy to the condom material.
    or a lube allergy. vaginal dryness and endometriosis are some common causes of pain associated with sexual intercourse.

    that said, if it's persistent pain it should be checked out by a doc.
     
  4. Kayden96

    Kayden96 New Member

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    No, we haven't used condoms in years and we rarely use lube.

    She said she's gone to the doctor and was told "it's normal". I have zero faith in doctors though. I've had headaches for over a decade and they always say, "Dunno LOL! $20 plz!" I asked if she was going to see someone else about it, but she didn't really answer directly.

    Is it possible I'm just too big? She has a vibrator that's much smaller than I am, so I figured we should try that. My thinking was if she's still sore, there's a problem. If she's not sore, I'm too big or something. I'm just not sure how we'd remedy that.
     
  5. dolfette

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    bruised sore or raw sore?

    is the tube part sore? the entrance? the cervix?
     
  6. Kayden96

    Kayden96 New Member

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    I'm thinking raw sore entrance because she said peeing makes it hurt more.
     
  7. dolfette

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    you started/stopped trimming or shaving?
    favouring a new position?
     
  8. Kayden96

    Kayden96 New Member

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    I've always trimmed, but I think it's more internal entrance than external- not like rug burn or something.

    Position wise, I think we've always been fairly varied. I'll have to make a point to ask her if she notices any correlation though.
     
  9. helgaleena

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    If it is a generalized hurt all over inside the abdominal area it could be endometriosis. That is what I have. This condition causes internal menstrual tissue and scar tissue to form all over the place between things in the abdominal cavity. However I am sickest during the last few days of my period, when the body is 'cleaning up' all the misplaced shed bloody junk.

    If it were endo, it would mean a day of recovery time after sex because of rearranging the adhesions. But in the long run it is better to stay sexually active so that adhesions don't stay. I find that as many as three orgasms daily are a big help, as long as I grant myself plenty of time to recover after each.

    In my case, because I am so close to menopause anyway, laparotomy surgery would be more trouble than it would help. It doesn't last. Only total hysterectomy lasts. But that messes up your hormones and your body chemistry.

    If so, refraining from sex is not the answer, any more than refraining from movement is the answer to arthritis pain. Come on to her as often as you can be bothered!
     
  10. dolfette

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    there's a name for it...unexplained vaginal pain.
    can't remember it now.
     
  11. Kayden96

    Kayden96 New Member

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    She says it hurts too much to even get aroused. I doubt she'd be willing to buy the "the only cure is more cause" argument.

    She does complain about severe pain with her periods and sometimes even seems to have one every two weeks instead of every 4.
     
  12. dolfette

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    well that isn't normal!
    she needs a new doc. a doc who doesn't take health concerns seriously is no use to anyone.
    get her to ask around the women she knows, see if any of them have had really good help with gyn issues.
     
  13. MickeyLee

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    what Ms. Dolfette said, she needs to see a doctor.

    i am betting hormone levels with a serious vaginal PH imbalance. maybe ovarian cysts. *i say it heaps, but you would be surprised how many women come into the clinic with various symptoms and most, aged 21-34, have cysts.*

    vulvodynia?
     
    #13 MickeyLee, Sep 1, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2009
  14. dolfette

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    a GOOD doctor. sometimes they're hard to find but you'll never regret the effort of hunting them down.
     
  15. dolfette

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    that's the one!
    i love weird words.
     
  16. hard2swallow

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    Definitely do some google searches on vulvodynia. My wife developed it after a few years of us being together. Sex was great at first (her first orgasms were with me, and we even had several simultaneous orgasms), but it slowly became more and more painful despite lubes and me having a half-boner most of the time. There are no real cures, just some different methods of dealing with it.

    We didn't have sex for years, and she blamed it on everything from money issues to being too tired, until a doctor finally diagnosed her. We're having sex again now, mostly because I finally took a stand and said either we try and deal with it or I'm out of here. She has to use a prescription numbing gel (lidocaine), but it's slowly getting better. Putting it in is the worst part, and some positions like doggy style seem to help. The bigger problem is that her libido is still very low. (She's had her hormones checked, and they're normal.) It's not what I signed up for when I married her, but life is like that.

    Good luck.
     
  17. dolfette

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    poor woman!
     
  18. Kayden96

    Kayden96 New Member

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    Years? You're a better man than I am.

    It doesn't sound like vulvodynia. We ride motorcycles and such and she says it only hurts after sex.

    I don't know, I think I just need to push her to see another doctor.

     
  19. helgaleena

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    once again the women here saying wise things, dolfette and mickeylee.
     
  20. HazelGod

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    Actually, the word I was thinking of vis-a-vis the OP is dyspareunia. Regrettably, I'm all too familiar with it.
     
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