Pain during intercourse

[dolfette]

I agree with you, what a stupid conclusion to make. This couple does need help, they are much to young to already be in this situation.

I think you both would benefit with some consuling to get the real issues out. My wife says that some times sex hurts but she had an operation down there and she is in her fifties so no comparison.

sorry to hear that.
i've posted before that i used to get vaginismus.
sex used to be very painful.
and not because i was shagging around or had the clap.
some girls with fibroids or cervical erosion suffer painful sex.

women's bits are complicated and there are lots of things that can go wrong.

must be tough for both of you.

 

[nylonguy]

Well we still love each other and she is open to others thing to please.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

There's about 5 obvious things going on contributing to the issues at hand. Each one will have to be addressed and he is going to have to help her through it, but she must be willing to want to seek medical, psychological, relationship help. He can't make her do it, he can't want it for her. She might be battling some depression and truly not wanting to have intimacy with anyone. When i get depressed sex is never on my mind.

 

[TheRob]

if sex hurt you would you want it???

hurts. as in pain.

it's a fairly common 'kink' actually

 

[TheRob]

gotta say how i just LOVE how guys jump in with accusations that she's shagging around!

what a bunch of twats.

yes, women NEVER do that....
give me a break having a set of tits dosn't make you pure

 

[TheRob]

There's about 5 obvious things going on contributing to the issues at hand. Each one will have to be addressed and he is going to have to help her through it, but she must be willing to want to seek medical, psychological, relationship help. He can't make her do it, he can't want it for her. She might be battling some depression and truly not wanting to have intimacy with anyone. When i get depressed sex is never on my mind.

havn't seen you in awhile, cute collar

 

[dolfette]

it's a fairly common 'kink' actually

omg! really?

i never knew that

 

[HazelGod]

She obviously tells me it hurts and does not enjoy it, but does not want to go get checked out?

Any advice?

Yeah...tell her to go to the goddamned doctor or hit the bricks.

 

[TheRob]

omg! really?

i never knew that

don't worry baby I'll enlighten you

 

[deleted356736]

Your last sentence in your first post, avoiding all sexual contact with you, causes me concern. If she is having pain through intercourse, then why avoid blowjobs, hand jobs etc? The most important and powerful sexual organ is the mind, so perhaps this is where you and her should look. A mind not wanting to have sex with a particular man would find it hard to get aroused, get dilated, get lubricated, resulting in painful sex. Or maybe even the pain is an excuse. Either way, perhaps consider your relationship and how it's travelling, and whether or not you have some problems there.

 

[dolfette]

don't worry baby I'll enlighten you

you'll let me arserape you with my 12" strapon?

awwwww! you're so sweet!

 

[NotSoDumb_Blonde]

Okay, not sure if you are still asking for input on this...it sorta went south real quick, but well the combination of the pill, and did you mean 'she let herself go?' or you did? That was confusing. But, try having her take things to increase her sex drive. Pumpkin seeds, I think, or coffee....uh, have you talked to her about how much this means to you? How much she turns you on? Are you doing things around the place that bug her and that in combo with the pill and her lack of self image, maybe?, is making her not want sex?

I would try romancing here. You're a few years into this, it's tough, she might feel lots of things, taken for granted. Do you talk to her? Share her interests? Bring her nice things?

Basically, focus on her, not just her for sex.

You might already do all of this and I am talking crap, but ...well, you'd be surprise how much honey can work.....

good luck and I don't think you should AUTOMATICALLY assume anything, not like the men on here are suggesting...geesh...lol, sorry, but it was sorta an eye rolling moment the posts from the guys.

 

[nicenycdick]

You are experiencing a difference in sexual libido, I suspect. She does not want or need sex...and you do. If she does not have that desire, sex will not be pleasurable and becomes a chore. The reasons can be many...sexual boredom, wrong partner, low self-image, age, some underlying physical condition, emotional issues...the list can be quite long. At the very least, she owes it to herself and the relationship to find out what is wrong. If she has no inclination to do that...your options are very limited: leave, cheat or accept. Only you can decide.

Although any woman could interpret what I previously posted in a negative way, I stand by it. I've been there...still am, in fact. Rather than for us to attempt to guess what the problem may be, all I can advise is that there may be many reasons for pain and lack of interest in sex. If she loves you and believes that sex with you is a healthy, necessary and pleasurable goal, then you and she should be taking whatever steps are necessary to find out what the problem is...whether it is her, you or the relationship. A continued failure to treat this problem as a serious one on her part leaves you only the choices I stated in my prior post above.

And, by the way, sex every 2 weeks is NOT the catastrophe you seem to think it is. Life is complicated and relationships dull over time unless they are worked at. You may also have fallen into what, for her libido, is a natural sexual rhythym. If you need more, discuss it from that perspective.

 

[helgaleena]

If she is avoiding all sexual contact with you, not just intercourse, it is definitely a mental component you must focus on. Talk and cuddle more, let her watch you masturbate instead of involving her, and definitely get off the hormone cocktails because they do mess with a woman's mind rather severely sometimes. I agree with dolfette on that.

I am glad you are more worried about getting her to enjoy sex with you, rather than getting her to supply you with sex.