Pain Pain Pain :( help please

wildozboy

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OK, so now for some helpful advice:rolleyes:

I have written in another thread about this, but the search function is a crap shoot with this place.

Here is what may be happening:

Anatomy 101: We are all familiar with the external and internal sphincter of the ass, and how we have awesome control for the most part over the one while the other is more of the involuntary nature, blah blah blah.Well, ya know how ya had to learn to take some teensy bit of voluntary control over that involuntary internal sphincter? How ya needed to be teased and relaxed before someone got in there? Well if you go about 4-6 or so inches in you aregoing to encounter the PR muscle.

We all have heard about the PC muscle (pubococcygeus muscle), that on that you work with kegal exercises to get bladder control, stronger erections gain some control to make anal better, that one. Ok We are not talking bout that one, we are going to discuss the PR muscle (Puborectalis muscle) which everyone is so fod of calling the second sphincter. Everyone is wrong. It's not a true sphincter but a sling of muscle in the lower abdomen that separates the sigmoid colon form the rectum. Good thing, that, otherwise we'd be running to the crapper a whole hell of a lot more!

Thing is, this muscle is even more resistant to being opened up for no other reason than a long cock fucking us. Dammit! Can't it just deal with it and let the joystick pass? Well it can, but you have ta coax it. Remember how you got the internal sphincter of your ass o relax and be teased open? Same thing. If you don't,, well, yeah its gonna hurt. Th PR muscle will want to snap back shut, and stay that way, all clenched like. So when he pushes past, you gt an OWCH!, then he withdraws and the pain subsides and it says "Fuck that shit! I am clamping down harder! That fucker ain't getting by twice!" Only of course he does, and th pain returns.

Good News:

This will keep happening. Your body isn't relaxed in there, it hurts, it expects pain, and does the one thing guaranteed to cause more: Clamp down harder.

Buuuuuuuuttttttttt....if you go about it slowly, with you setting the pace, and he listening, you can slowly beginning to tease it ope. Try different positions (knees up to chest on your side will relax your leg muscles from supporting you as well as having your knees up will encourage the PR muscle to loosen up and enjoy life).

Once he i passed it, have him hold it there. If it becomes uncomfy, back off, give you a small breather, then tease and nudge it slowly back open. Have him balls deep for as long as you can take it. Your body will start registering it as, if not pleasure just yet, than as not pain. It will open up a bit more, and stay in a more relaxed mode. Slow fucking in and out of the PR muscle will get the old boy rained so that when you are ready a hard gut pounding balls bouncing off your ass fuck romp will be a thing of joy. And not one of ouchie pain-ness.

:biggrin:

woww thx for your time to reply.

I think problem is that first 90 degree turn. I still cant understand how a hard penis can pass that turn??????/
 

B_subgirrl

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I am somewhere between. I do a gentle push and then relax and visualize opening and relaxing. The knees up towards your chest encourages a natural relaxation, so squatting over, doggy with or face down doggy, and laying on your side with the legs pulled up, seriously help the initial entry.

I recommend the side position for a novice if they have a partner they can trust. It is opening and relaxing the PR muscle, while relaxing the legs and buttocks. The bottom can then relax more, and as long as they have a good top, who is listening to their needs, than I have found it to be the easiest position for first time PR entries.

Squatting, while giving the ultimate in control to the bottom, can also tense legs and buttocks, and worry the bottom that, should he (or she) slip, then all that cock is getting jammed u there. If you have had pain before, that fear is going to cause ALL your muscles to tense. Once you get the hang of it, though, I find it as easy as the others. Of course you can experiment with angle and lean forward to rest your weight on your arms and upper thighs if needed and angle back...

Doggy may not be the best when you are getting used to it as it allows deeper penetration. But this could be helpful for those whose artners just bump against the PR muscle and may need something to be fully through to open it up.

Food for thought.

Doggy has always been the best starter position for anal for me, even when I was new to anal. It helps with the 'thinking open' thing and allows me a lot of control. The deeper penetration shouldn't theoretically be a problem if your partner is sensitive to your needs/feelings/sensations.

Me on top (whether squatting or in some other configuration) is almost always a bad, bad thing. With the squatting position especially I find everything goes tense because my leg and ass muscles are working to control the depth. Completely works against the need to be relaxed. I've only ever had me on top work once as an anal starter position and I wasn't squatting.


assuming you meant "not" I would till have to smack you upside your head. Pain is natures way of letting you to potential or actual damage. A little discomfort can be worked through in time, but pin is a sign to back off, relax a bit, re angle, re tease, and try again at the bottom's discretion.

I'm with you on the smacking!!! A little bit of pain/discomfort is no big deal, and probably to be expected if you're trying to fit a large object into a fairly small space, but real pain is your body sending you a message!! Real pain means potential damage and you do NOT want potential damage happening in your ass.


woww thx for your time to reply.

I think problem is that first 90 degree turn. I still cant understand how a hard penis can pass that turn??????/

By wiggling your ass. Seriously. I have a fairly strong pain spot about 4 inches in. I've decided that it's him colliding with a transverse fold. Transverse folds can be got around with a wiggle (you're basically nudging it out of the way). Once I've done the wiggle, he slides the rest of the way in and I'm pain free. Try wiggling :smile:.
 

B_Nicodemous

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woww thx for your time to reply.

I think problem is that first 90 degree turn. I still cant understand how a hard penis can pass that turn??????/
Your most welcome! Subgirrl actually answers your question,:biggrin:

Doggy has always been the best starter position for anal for me, even when I was new to anal. It helps with the 'thinking open' thing and allows me a lot of control. The deeper penetration shouldn't theoretically be a problem if your partner is sensitive to your needs/feelings/sensations.
See, i am ok with doggy as well, though it is easier if I am on my side and relaxed (for the most part). I like for my partner to be perpendicular to me. He can then see the playing field, as it were, and I am all relaxed and ready. Once in though fling one leg over the opposing shoulder for super fun!

Me on top (whether squatting or in some other configuration) is almost always a bad, bad thing. With the squatting position especially I find everything goes tense because my leg and ass muscles are working to control the depth. Completely works against the need to be relaxed. I've only ever had me on top work once as an anal starter position and I wasn't squatting.
I HATE sqauting.I can never relax fully unless I modify it. Part of it is due to my fucked up left knee (getting better), but even before it was messed up, I still was a little tense. With it kinda weak still, the feeling of falling and getting stabbed with that cock (well on the initial entry, later is a while different story, lol) made me too tense. The leaning forward and sliding back seems to alleviate that, for me at least.

I'm with you on the smacking!!! A little bit of pain/discomfort is no big deal, and probably to be expected if you're trying to fit a large object into a fairly small space, but real pain is your body sending you a message!! Real pain means potential damage and you do NOT want potential damage happening in your ass.
Exactly! There is a diff between discomfort/twinge of mild pain, and OUCH! pain. The former is a "ok, maybe slow down, work through. The second is "STOP!"

By wiggling your ass. Seriously. I have a fairly strong pain spot about 4 inches in. I've decided that it's him colliding with a transverse fold. Transverse folds can be got around with a wiggle (you're basically nudging it out of the way). Once I've done the wiggle, he slides the rest of the way in and I'm pain free. Try wiggling :smile:.
I can't believe I forgot to mention wiggling! This helps even BEFPRE you hot the PR muscle. Subgirrl had alerted me to the transverse folds about a month ago, and I am aghast that I didn't mention them (though in my defense you WERE asking about th PR muscle, about 6 inches in, lol)

Sub had sent me a WONDERFUL article on the subject, but the file is too large to attach:frown: so here is a wiki page that discusses it. PM me and we can see about getting you the file that goes into way more detail.:smile:
 
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B_Nicodemous

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I think problem is that first 90 degree turn. I still cant understand how a hard penis can pass that turn??????/

Oh just caught the thrust (if you'll pardon the pun) of this question!

Yeah, the 90 degree (give or take) bend of the sigmoid colon. Here's the thing. Once you get past the PR muscle, try wiggling and different angles (the same that help navagate the transverse folds) to get that cock to slide in. Good thing about the s-colon:it's not attached to the abdominal wall lkie the descending colon (further up the line) is. It' just loosely there and quite mobile, all things considered and compared to other structures. So IT will unbend, as it were, around the cock. :smile:
 

macho8

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we always talk about the guys receiving these deep fucks... anyone ever hear from a top experiencing this before?

I was told that when a top is that deep, apparently the ass starts sucking the cock in?
 

hungboy18

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Maybe with time it will get better, maybe you need to be more relaxed, don't be nervous, don't hurt yourself, with time it should get better ;)
 

wildozboy

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Oh just caught the thrust (if you'll pardon the pun) of this question!

Yeah, the 90 degree (give or take) bend of the sigmoid colon. Here's the thing. Once you get past the PR muscle, try wiggling and different angles (the same that help navagate the transverse folds) to get that cock to slide in. Good thing about the s-colon:it's not attached to the abdominal wall lkie the descending colon (further up the line) is. It' just loosely there and quite mobile, all things considered and compared to other structures. So IT will unbend, as it were, around the cock. :smile:


Mate,

thanks for your answer. I have tried it with no success :(

max is 13cm. no more than that. It gives me massice stomach pain. tried wiggiling alot. moved my body alot. no luck. i feel like there is ne brick wall there. cannot push, cannot pass.

:( donno waht to do :(
 

B_subgirrl

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Mate,

thanks for your answer. I have tried it with no success :(

max is 13cm. no more than that. It gives me massice stomach pain. tried wiggiling alot. moved my body alot. no luck. i feel like there is ne brick wall there. cannot push, cannot pass.

:( donno waht to do :(

:frown1: that the wiggle didn't work. Maybe he really is just too big for you. But if anyone is going to have any more tips for you, it will be Nico!
 

B_Nicodemous

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Mate,

thanks for your answer. I have tried it with no success :(

max is 13cm. no more than that. It gives me massice stomach pain. tried wiggiling alot. moved my body alot. no luck. i feel like there is ne brick wall there. cannot push, cannot pass.

:( donno waht to do :(

:frown1: that the wiggle didn't work. Maybe he really is just too big for you. But if anyone is going to have any more tips for you, it will be Nico!
Give me sie time t think on this one.

Wildozboy: And you tried on your side (both sides, curves matter here, yours and his) with your knees at right angles to your body and that didnt help?

That usually does the trick for me and the people I recommend it to.:frown:

You tried gently pushing out? When you do, push out while he maintains pressure (maintains not pushes full bore in or even in at all really). As you relax, the pressure he has maintained will let hi slip a fration in. Keep repeating.

Try differebt agles for his body, compared to yours. Have him perhaps at kneeling as you lay on your side (again try both sides) Have him bring his knees closer together to raise angle downward into you, or spread them to level off angle up (this is if he is on the bed with you.) Slide to the edge of the bed (or couch or table) and se if he is standing if that gives you a comfy angle.

Try laying on your stomach and letting him ease in. You may have some success with that.

Does he curve any particular way? I can't remember if you said or not...:frown1::confused:

I will keep thinking about it and trying for a solution.

Have you played with longish flexible toys? You may be able to find the proer course in a solo mode. Then you can find the ideal angle and maybe replicate it?
 

wildozboy

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Give me sie time t think on this one.

Wildozboy: And you tried on your side (both sides, curves matter here, yours and his) with your knees at right angles to your body and that didnt help?

That usually does the trick for me and the people I recommend it to.:frown:

You tried gently pushing out? When you do, push out while he maintains pressure (maintains not pushes full bore in or even in at all really). As you relax, the pressure he has maintained will let hi slip a fration in. Keep repeating.

Try differebt agles for his body, compared to yours. Have him perhaps at kneeling as you lay on your side (again try both sides) Have him bring his knees closer together to raise angle downward into you, or spread them to level off angle up (this is if he is on the bed with you.) Slide to the edge of the bed (or couch or table) and se if he is standing if that gives you a comfy angle.

Try laying on your stomach and letting him ease in. You may have some success with that.

Does he curve any particular way? I can't remember if you said or not...:frown1::confused:

I will keep thinking about it and trying for a solution.

Have you played with longish flexible toys? You may be able to find the proer course in a solo mode. Then you can find the ideal angle and maybe replicate it?

Hi Nico,

first of all thx for your answer. I think I forgot to mention this before. I am trying it solo with some long and thin objects. Thin as finger.

I have tried on sides, wiggling. I didn't try on stomach. I will.

Also I dont have flexible toys. I will get one and try that. However even if I have success with flexible toy I wont work on real life as hard penis won't be flexible. But worth to try.
 

B_subgirrl

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Hi Nico,

first of all thx for your answer. I think I forgot to mention this before. I am trying it solo with some long and thin objects. Thin as finger.

I have tried on sides, wiggling. I didn't try on stomach. I will.

Also I dont have flexible toys. I will get one and try that. However even if I have success with flexible toy I wont work on real life as hard penis won't be flexible. But worth to try.

This explains things!!! If I try to insert non flexible toys into my ass (or someone else inserts them) I often get pain that would never ever occur with a penis, even if the toy is much smaller than said cock.

Hard penises are considerably more flexible than non-flexible toys. And quite simply, adding the human factor makes everything different.

Skip the toy play, or buy something a little more flexible.
 

wildozboy

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This explains things!!! If I try to insert non flexible toys into my ass (or someone else inserts them) I often get pain that would never ever occur with a penis, even if the toy is much smaller than said cock.

Hard penises are considerably more flexible than non-flexible toys. And quite simply, adding the human factor makes everything different.

Skip the toy play, or buy something a little more flexible.

Thanks for reply. I have tried it with penis at the begining. However this pain problem affected few of my relations.

I made a bit crazy decision and ordered a "pipe camera". i will see inside of my bum :)