Painful sex question

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by walla99, Dec 8, 2007.

  1. walla99

    walla99 New Member

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    I came across these forums looking for a little help...after looking around a bit, this is a pretty basic, but needed question!

    I have a new boyfriend and I realized right away he was pretty big - mostly just long, but normal girth I would say. I was thinking "wow, great!" But we had sex for the first time and it really hurt...I don't know his size, but I have been with many partners (40+) and I've never had pain like that. I would say he's at least a couple inches longer than I've experienced before. He was pounding hard and it felt like he was hitting my cervix. This normally feels good but this felt both good and painful. We had sex twice that night and he wanted to again in the morning and I couldn't do it...too sore.

    I didn't want him to feel bad that it hurt me, yet I can't just pretend it didn't hurt. He hasn't had many partners and just said, yeah I guess they mentioned they were sore but felt better by the next day. But no one has said it hurt. He is a little embarassed I think that he is bigger.

    I've dealt with a lot of sex issues, but this is new and I'm not sure what to do. Obviously, I'd like a full sex life where neither of us have to miss out on the full experience. I don't think it's a lube issue, but a length issue. I'm still sore two days later.

    I guess I figure we'll have to start slow and take it easy and see what works.

    If you have any advice, I'd greatly appreciate it.
     
  2. lewis27529

    lewis27529 Member

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    I had the same problem with my BF a little over a year ago when we started dating. All of it went away after a couple of months. All I can say is use plenty of lube and take it SLOW. You might also want to experiment with different sexual positions and find something that is more comfortable for you. And the last piece of advice that I can offer is to let him know if it hurtsÂ…. He might be able to do something different, who knows?

    Good luck bro,

    LM
     
  3. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    Use cowgril so you are on top and control how far you take his cock in. Also if you want missionary put a pillow or some form of padding between yourselves to it reduces the depth of his thrust. Also try doggie as he shouldn't be able to go to deep in that position either

    Most importantly is to tell him. I sure he doesn't want to hurt you and will try anything to make sure you enjoy it as much as he does.
     
  4. joejack

    joejack Active Member

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    Lay him on his back and you take charge of how deep he goes and which angle feels best. You may even be able to take the whole thing after a bit of easy stretching. Try facing him and about face and even sideways. There is more cunt that is beyond the cervix called the fornix. Try to gently work his cockhead past your cervix and then hold it back there until you can relax and take it all. A few orgasms by your cunt on his cock will help with release of more cunt juice and contractions too. Just take it nice and easy.
     
  5. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    Also try sitting on his cock and just grinding, get used to the feel of it pushing into your cervix without the pain and sharpness of thrusting. once you get used to it its an amazing feeling, you'll crave it :wink:
     
  6. markw

    markw New Member

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    Ummm, unless i've been missing something, isn't doggy the deepest position?
     
  7. joejack

    joejack Active Member

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    Depends on the size of the booty.:smile:Deepest position is knees pinned back to shoulders.
     
  8. TheRob

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    well the first thing is you can't lie to him
    or ifyou do you can't expect him to change behavior paterns
    let him know when he slams away it hurts your cervix you know
    I mean if anything a man has a right to know he's hurting a woman
    if a woman let me hurt her when I didn't know I was doing it I would feel like shit when I did eventually find out
     
  9. AlbertCunning

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    The posterior fornix, even.
    ...or the anterior; thought to be somewhat inferior.
     
  10. Love-it

    Gold Member

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    You can get some Seymore Butts not too deep donut set to slip over his cock, there are three in a package and they are about 3/4" thick per each. Use one or more as necessary.
     
  11. B_sugarandspice

    B_sugarandspice New Member

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    You can end up craving it so that when you want sex you feel the urge way up in your pelvic region instead of you vaginal opening.
    You can become spoiled to it. Also putting a ton of lube and reapplying really will help. You have to stop and re lube every time you start to get uncomfortable. man even has gotten really good at knowing when to reapply. We like astro glide but it dries out. Some may stay wet longer but you really have to reapply often. My man likes that he can get further in so he reaaplys .He's so greedy.lol.The lube will help him slide into you instead of punching into your insides. You can also start slow and after lots of orgasms and getting all banged out you will can loosen up a bit and then you can let him go at it. .
    One thing I learned to do about the pain /pleasure from cervical stimulation is sort of meditate into the pain and then it turns into please and then I want that feeling over and over and I tell him to he can do it harder. It takes a while to get to that point.You can also learn to let you vagina give as he stretches it. You have to keep your lower body really relaxed and concentrate to let go. He has bruised me and given me some severe injuries to my bladder.I have had cervisitis that was inflammation of the cervix.My doctor told me to learn to say no to my bf.You have to learn to communicate. My man has gotten so sweet.
    I once ended up in the hospital from an ex boyfriend because my cervix was badly bruised and believe me it hurt bad for a while.
    If your bf starts out gentle and you concentrate you can make yourself more open then you can tell him when your ready for more. After a while he'll wait for you to tell him but you have to remind him every time for several months at least.
    You really have to use even more lube. You said it isn't a lube issue but I don't know how you can overcome your issues and not get hurt if you don't use even more. You can't just be super wet and lubed at the base you have to keep lubing up his head so it can slide against your cervix instead of punching.
    Best Wishes:wink:
     
  12. DocHolliday

    DocHolliday Member

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    Great post.

    Unlikely. He probably was a little embarrassed that his lovemaking skills were being criticized. I've had this same experience. Some women enjoy deep penetration, others find it painful (until they get accustomed.) The key is communication... Letting him know what you like.

    For example, try telling him you like it s-l-o-w or mentioning that you enjoy shallow penetration best.

    Here's an eBook with more suggestions: Too Big (663kb pdf)
     
  13. walla99

    walla99 New Member

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    Thanks everyone for your replies. They are greatly appreciated and helpful!

    I am hoping we will just have to go slow at first and eventually I will get used to it and maybe even prefer it! I did tell him about it...had to.

    Usually the other times I have felt a cock hitting my cervix is during doggie style so to me that is a deeper position and usually my favorite...but this is just hitting it so much more.

    Sugarandspice, I can see what you are saying about the lube to help slide past my cervix, so I will definitely try that. It just hasn't been an issue before.

    DocHolliday, don't think he's embarassed by his size per se, but he didn't like me making a big deal of it...good or bad. It is what it is, kwim? I hope I didn't come off to him as complaining because I sure didn't mean it that way. More just as here's an issue we need to work around. I suppose you can't take that good no matter how nice you say it. I will check out that book.

    Guys...you are saying maybe ask him to thrust more shallow...is that hard for a guy to do? I mean, I'd like him to be able to do what he needs to do to, if that makes sense.
     
  14. B_ScaredLittleBoy

    B_ScaredLittleBoy New Member

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    Okay I think I know and I would have thought most women know that you can't get past the cervix. Or if you can it would REALLY hurt :rolleyes:

    Some of you 'women' eh.

    You may have a UTI or you just need to get aroused, used to his size and ask him to not go so deep.
     
  15. walla99

    walla99 New Member

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    I beg to differ...there is soft space surrounding the cervix as others above has mentioned and referred to it as the "fornix". I have felt it with fingers myself. I have thought maybe there was an infection, but I've recently been tested for infections and have none. I assure you, I was also very aroused and wet.

    But yeah, will have to get used to his size and try different positions.
     
  16. Gisella

    Gold Member

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    Hang in there because it will get better with practice!

    In my personal experience it hurts at first because if you are like me as enjoy rough banging and are used with averages, you must go slow with long ones, as long fat ones if you had not experience with it etc.

    Plus if you got any ginecological issues before having him etc it must be treated first, check with doctor, as if any bit infections, you may not had notice with averages, as cervix bit irritated even before you got him so close by etc. by him touching cervix by "wrong angle" it can be painful too even with non sensitive cervix cause by infections because cervix is sensitive naturaly anyways.

    Go slow and choose positions you are in control of deepth and thrusting, as others already mentioned. Use lots of lub if you dont lub lots naturaly. Keep practicing and knowing each other step by step!

    :smile:
     
  17. Principessa

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    Yes, it is. Unless the guy has a little dick and the woman has a bubble butt. However that is not the case here. :smile:


    Excellent advice that was my first thought as well. :cool: There is no law saying a man has to use his entire penis. :rolleyes:


    It does, but I guarantee you he enjoyed every inch of you and will continue to do so . . . without causing you pain. :wink:
     
  18. Gisella

    Gold Member

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    Hey Walla...great you checked already about infections. As you are wanting wet him inside and very wet, great!

    Yep I was like that in the begging as I want it hard etc. then got pain and sore afterwards...

    Go slow and pay attention to the angle he thrust inside..not hitting the cervix etc keep practing etc

    :smile: Welcome to LPSG.
     
  19. Pirate Wench

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    Doggie is the deepest for me as well......
     
  20. Linda Sue

    Linda Sue New Member

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    He definitely needs to learn how to handle that tool. Is he providing enough foreplay to get you good and wet and dilated? And some long men just can't pound all the way into small women. You may get used to it. But you may not. So be honest. And when he wants to go a third time, give him the great blowjob from heaven!
     
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