Painful Sex

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by Chicago_Swimmer, Feb 7, 2005.

  1. Chicago_Swimmer

    Chicago_Swimmer New Member

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    My wife and I are experiencing difficulty sometimes during sex. Even though she is wet we have to take it real slow when I enter her. Once we take our time, then it is okay. Then it becomes painful again for her when I'm about to climax, my penis becomes stiffer and larger at that point. This seems to happen almost half the time we have sex. After her period it is certain to happen since we would have gone without sex for at least a week. Hurting her puts her and myself off of sex.

    My wife feels that this pain is size related. I don't have a ridiculously large penis. It is not like I'm 11" long or anything. I'm about 7.5" and about 6.25" around. So this isn't a freak show topic.

    I'm sure some of you have had some experience with this and would appreciate hearing about any techniques that you know of that gets around this problem.

    Thanks,
    Robert
     
  2. surferboy

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    She might just happen to really tight. Like you said, you don't have a soda can thick cock. You could see an OB/GYN.
     
  3. lapdog2001

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    Chicago,

    While you don't have a Monster Cock™, you certainly are above average in both length and girth. If you swell even bigger when you near climax, then I can see that it might be a problem for her as she has just gotten used to your normal size. I agree with surferboy in that she should see her doctor to rule out any medical condition that may be causing her the pain.

    My only similar experience was my girlfriend feeling some pain if whatever natural or added lubrication wasn't doing the job anymore. If she felt too much friction, or I noticed it, I would pull out an apply some lube. That usually did the trick!

    LapDog :p
     
  4. Chicago_Swimmer

    Chicago_Swimmer New Member

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    Are there are other guys who agree with Surferboy?

    Of course, my wife and I both feel she is tighter after a break with sex, but it seems somewhat unusual that it would cause her discomfort if she is wet. It still happens even if we've been quite active. One thing we've noticed is that the discomfort will happen after she has had her orgasm. Perhaps she naturally begins to "dry up" afterwards? Position change doesn't seem to help. The only thing we've done is to have her on top to control the penetration, but sometimes that doesn't help either.

    Any other guys have any experience like this? If so, what did you do to help (ie. positions)?

    Thanks again,
    Robert
     
  5. lapdog2001

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    Yes, she may 'dry up' after having an orgasm. As I mentioned in my previous response, lube is your friend. Neither you or your wife should feel any shame in using it as it seems to be exactly what you need!

    LapDog :p
     
  6. surferboy

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    Yah, invest in some KY, see how that goes. Even if it goes well, I'd still see a doc. Some women are just tighter than others, no matter how turned on they may be.
     
  7. Chicago_Swimmer

    Chicago_Swimmer New Member

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    We have discussed using some kind of lubrication, but we've never used it before. Maybe this is indeed something we should really consider. My wife is a little reluctant to see her doctor about this kind of problem.

    Is there some kind of lubrication you could recommend for this? KY isn't really to be used for this kind of problem...right?
     
  8. surferboy

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    Ky can be used. In faact, it was suggested in sex ed in 9th grade. There's this other brand whose name I forget, but like, it mimics precum. I also like Motion Lotion, but that's more for blow jobs.
     
  9. Chicago_Swimmer

    Chicago_Swimmer New Member

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    Thanks SurferBoy. I just did some checking of lube online and will probably get some. My size used to excite her now it makes her nervous. That makes for a lousy sex life.

    Hopefully the will do the trick and we'll be having some fun again. Thanks for the info. and thanks to LapDog too.
     
  10. wonderland

    wonderland Member

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    Astroglide is a good lube to use too. You can get it at most chain stores like Walmart or CVS. From the female perspective I can tell you that it will probably make a big difference.
     
  11. Chicago_Swimmer

    Chicago_Swimmer New Member

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    Hi Wonderland,

    Have you ever had the same experience that I've described my wife and I having. If so, do you think it was size enduced? The other think we are thinking is that her natural libido is starting to fade. She is almost 40. She is quite certain of two things, one that it has never happened to her before, the discomfort, and second never having someone with my girth before. So there are multiple things we are looking at that could be causing this.

    Thanks again though for your seconding of the lube.
     
  12. Spork

    Spork New Member

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    YES, YOU NEED TO USE LUBE!

    (Sorry for shouting, but it's important. Seriously.)

    My favorites are:

    Probe. This is the slipperiest lube I've tried. You can get anything into anywhere with this stuff. Lasts longer than other water-based products.

    Eros. The silicone lubes aren't quite as slippery, but they last a lot longer and give me more sensation. Sometimes Probe is overkill.

    KY is better than nothing, but it isn't all that: I think it dries up too quickly.
     
  13. surferboy

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    That's the one I was thinkin of! Astroglide. They made it to mimic precum. Totally bitchin lube, in my opinion. But like, I know she doesn't want to, but she really should see her OB/GYN. She might either be too tight, or there might be something with her natural lubing mechanism. I'm sorry if you've mentioned this in yer first post, but how old are you two?
     
  14. lapdog2001

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    LUBES ARE GOOD! USE THEM!

    Ok, I'll stop shouting.

    In my case I don't know if my size had anything to do with it. It could be a perfectly natural change in arousal state with your wife. It could be age related, or it could be orgasm related as you mentioned earlier. Is she on any medications? There could be 100 diffrent reasons for it to happen.

    The vast majority of my sexual experience has been with the use of condoms for birth control, so we almost always used lube. We decided to use lube since we noticed that she would experience 'drying' even when she was all hot and bothered. Sometimes it wasn't until we were well along in intercourse, sometimes it was almost from the point of penetration. I'm not a marathon man where actual intercourse always lasts 30-60 minutes, but if you are a very long lasting man, her natural lubrication may not be able to keep up with you. (The women I've have been with were very please that I lasted way more than 2-3 minutes, which I guess is far too common!)

    I did notice that when my girfriend was on birth control and we didn't have to use condoms, that she was able to stay naturally moist 99% of the time. She is younger than your wife, if that means anything.

    Stay away from KY jelly. The liquid lubes are all better than that stuff.

    Good luck and have fun,

    LapDog :p
     
  15. godiluvabig1

    godiluvabig1 New Member

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    Well, how wet does she get? Cuz I don't have the problem with getting dry after an orgasm, and the first guy I was with that was well-hung, it really hurt, but after time it stopped... but if we'd go a week or more without having sex again, it would hurt again (cuz I get tight again quickly, which may be her problem if she's still wet) See if she's up to doing it more often to try to loosen her up...
     
  16. prepky

    prepky New Member

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    wife loves eros...says it is the best that we have tried, and we get the silicone based....

    prep
     
  17. Imported

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    carolinacurious: Just wanted to chime in and say that use of lubes can change your life. I'd say 90% likely that this will solve your problem AND you will wonder why you never used it before.

    Big fan of astroglide here, hate KY, haven't tried them all.

    With astroglide a little goes a long way, if it does dry up on you a few drops of water (or spit) can bring it back.
     
  18. surferboy

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    KY's groovy and all, but like, I totally agree with you on Astroglide. As I've said before. But like, this is a point I wanna let everyone here know about. Astroglide is one of the best lubes out there. Like I said earlier, it's second only to Motion Lotion. But that's more for oral...And I'm repeating myself, sorry dudes and duedettes. Just drivin home a point.
     
  19. Imported

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    doubtless_mouse: You mentioned that your wife said this never happened before, and she had never had someone with your girth. Are you recently married? This is an important question to ask as it may help us help you. If you have been married for a while and this is only now becoming a problem, then it points to something different/wrong. If in the past, you two never had problems I would definetly recommend that she see her doctor. My wife and I have been together going on 12 years, and a couple of years ago she explained that sex caused her pain (lasting after the actual event), she eventually listened to me and went to the doctor, and sure enough she had an Urinary Track Infection. Doctor gave her pills made her all better.

    Another thing for us that became an issue about painful sex was when she explained to me that when we were younger she never told me about the normal discomfort/pain she experienced (she would just except it as part of life with me and my crank). While I am not as girthy as you, she is a very petitie woman she is very small in this area, it is always a tight fit (always was even when we had sex many times a week, she never seemed to "stretch out"). Now as we have grown together she has come to understand that my pleasure is diminisioned if I think she is in pain (we are not as active as when we were younger because of this, but the sex is better because she does not fear it anymore). We used to have sex 7 - 10 times a week, but that high rate of sex, never let her "heal-up" (I say heal up but to express it better would be to say that she is sore for one to two days after sex, so we normally have sex no more than every other day) This gives her time to heal-up but still provides an active sex life for both of us.

    Lastly, what style of sex do you practice. Are you a hammer it home kind of guy (many men and women like this form of sex) but it may be that this is the cause of the pain. Do you vary your style (i.e. some days we are slow and kind, other days we both just want to hammer each other). I know that if we take our time and go slow it usually hurts less after sex than if the sex we are having looks like a scene from a porno (no we don't play like we are in a porno, though it might be cool). For us we vary our styles (both because of limitations and issues of pain/and because certain days we want sex a certain way).

    Think to what sex was like before and look to see if there are any changes in your lives that maybe effecting your sex. Sex should be pleasurable. My wife still experiences some discomfort after sex (soreness, etc) but we have taken steps to midiate that problem and she thoroughly enjoys sex now. i know that we will more than likely never be able to have sex like when we were younger, but then again I never want to hurt her either. While she does sometimes have pain now, it is nowhere near what it was like for her before. Sex before was not pleasurable but she cared for my feelings and neglected her own. Now we have found a happy medium that we both can live with. Good Luck because I know this is difficult.
     
  20. Max

    Max New Member

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    Robert,

    I think Doubtless_Mouse has given excellent advice. If this is a recent problem in a long standing relationship, then medical investigation would be a good idea. But if not, maybe I could make a suggestion to add to all the comments about lube, etc.

    It looks to me as if you have described two different problems or two different possible sources of pain for your wife.

    One of them is entry: all guys who are as thick as you are or thicker will know that they have to take things very easily, even after years lube and preparation are needed, and go on being needed: even more of course after a few days without sex. I think also that some of us (myself included) need to be pretty careful when withdrawing as well as when entering because of the size of the head and the pronounced overhang.

    The other one seems to relate to your increased size as you near orgasm. Although I don't use all my length, I would typically be in a little deeper than you are. But I know that if my erection is larger than normal I need to allow for the extra, so as not to go beyond the comfort zone; and it may be that your expansion when you reach the point of no return is marked enough to cause the trouble.

    What about doing what a lot of well-endowed men have to do: try going in just a little less far, and keeping an inch or so outside? It is frustrating — don't we know it :glare: But if it works, you will know what the problem is. If not, maybe reducing the vigour of your thrusts is all you need to do, as Doubtless_Mouse has said.

    Good luck!
     
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