Painful Sex

[Chicago_Swimmer]

Thank you very much for everyone comments and advice. My wife is 40. I am 35. We are approaching our third anniversary in March. We have been having this difficulty since the beginning. However, it seems to happen more often now. There are two possible reasons for this. One she is simply becoming older and naturally losing some of her libido. Second, after three years we have learned how to push each others sexual buttons pretty well. We achieve orgasms for her pretty regularly now. It is usually after her orgasm that she begins to get a little dry. I'd say it happens about 40% of the time.

Because of my girth we do that things slowly. On occasion, particularly after a week or so without sex, it is difficult penetrating her. Ramming it home isn't really our style. We like it nice and slow.

The head of my cock does grow before orgasm and we both feel the tightness and friction before I orgasm. After some thought last night and discussing this with my wife we are going to look into using some lube. I think we feel it is a combination of a number of things, her libido, my size, and sex post her orgasm that is contributing to her soreness.

Thanks again for everyone's helpful comments and advice.

 

[Chicago_Swimmer]

I neglected to mention, in response to previous messages, that we do not use birth control. We are letting fate decide if we have a child or not.

Also, we do try several positions (her on top, missionary, doggie...etc.) The discomfort usually happens when we are in doggie position. We always start with her on top, allowing her to control the speed of the penetration.

 

[Kimahri]

Lube has been in major use on the gay side of life for guys that are smaller than yourself since we don't appear to be designed to have such a thing happen to us. Or something. Um......

Anyway, try lube and some heavy making out.

*ninja vanish*

 

[surferboy]

Originally posted by chicago1155@Feb 8 2005, 09:28 AM
Thank you very much for everyone comments and advice. My wife is 40. I am 35. We are approaching our third anniversary in March. We have been having this difficulty since the beginning. However, it seems to happen more often now. There are two possible reasons for this. One she is simply becoming older and naturally losing some of her libido. Second, after three years we have learned how to push each others sexual buttons pretty well. We achieve orgasms for her pretty regularly now. It is usually after her orgasm that she begins to get a little dry. I'd say it happens about 40% of the time.

Because of my girth we do that things slowly. On occasion, particularly after a week or so without sex, it is difficult penetrating her. Ramming it home isn't really our style. We like it nice and slow.

The head of my cock does grow before orgasm and we both feel the tightness and friction before I orgasm. After some thought last night and discussing this with my wife we are going to look into using some lube. I think we feel it is a combination of a number of things, her libido, my size, and sex post her orgasm that is contributing to her soreness.

Thanks again for everyone's helpful comments and advice.

[post=281082]Quoted post[/post]​

I don't think it's libido loss. they say that a woman reaches her sexual peak in her late 30s to mid 40s. I don't believe that statistic though, because they say that a dude's prime is 18-20, so yah. Oh, and Max, I suggested the doctor thing long before Mouse...

 

[Chicago_Swimmer]

Thanks for everyone's helpful advice. My wife and I are looking at two different types of lubricant and since I have your attention I thought I would ask your preferences between the two.

One is, Climax Fruit Bomb (three delicious flavors) the other is Strawberry Astroglide. They are both water-based.

For those who know, I would love to know which one you think is better.

Thanks again.

 

[jonb]

Actually, surferboy, it would make biological sense: A male doesn't need much in the way of reproduction. Stick it in, jiggle it around a bit, shoot. All a male really has to worry about is rival males.

A female, by contrast, in her 30s or 40s would be getting to the period where, absent dentistry, she'd be losing her teeth. Even with dentistry, she has to worry about menopause. OTOH, in her teens, her physiology isn't quite ready for pregnancy, even if she can get pregnant.

 

[hose 85]

The wife says without lube she is sore the next day or two. We have been together for 8 years, married for 5, and she is adjusted to my size 8.5" x 6" but we still need lube to cut down on some of the friction. She is very tight down there which is good for me but I know it can cause her some discomfort if we go to fast. :unsure:

Sometime we must reapply some lube during sex, you may want to try that if your wife starts to dry out.

We love Astroglide, but our favorite is Wet Lite. It is thinner and a little goes a long way.

Just my 2 cents, J.