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Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by D_Amyntas Lillydong, Jan 20, 2009.
what advice would a woman give to a man who is painfully shy around women. like icebreakers.
Everything I've read, "Hi, my name is blank" works great.
But I can never bring myself to do this either. I'm painfully shy around women too, and always second guess how attractive I think I am.
"Nice shoes...wanna fuck?"
Chicks love when you notice their shoes. Makes them instantly wet. Then again, maybe that's just me.
:biglaugh: Ah, yes, the subtle approach! Must try that some time.
I remember how once when I was standing in line at a coffee bar I looked down and noticed the shoes of a well-dressed woman standing next to me. I thought that they were really neat shoes; so I could have said, "Neat shoes," without being a liar or a phony. But I didn't. I don't remember what the rest of the woman looked like, but I still kick myself for that failure of nerve. That happened about 25 years ago, and my game has not improved much since then.
I notice that Rontar says that he lives in Buttlick, KY. I've been to Big Bone Lick, and I know someone who comes from Paint Lick!
If a guy told me I had nice shoes, my first thought would be, "This jackass is trying to pick me up. And failing."
If you want to talk to a girl, be genuine. Be yourself. Would be nice to compliment her on something, but that's not even necessary. Not right off the bat anyway. Introduce yourself. Tell her your name, ask hers. We're a lot less vicious than we let on. :wink:
pass the memo to the woman that laughed at me after I said "Hello, my name is ...."
never had a problem talking up women. course i'm not exactly shy. i just talk, babble at will.
"hey, ya pretty.. what's ya name? oh that's lovely.... i'm mickeylee, nice to meet ya. ya working them shoes like they got dental benefits, darlin. oh? me? what do i do? anything to make you happy."
my secret is being a purple haired idiot. not really a secret. i am a purple haired idiot. but i have learned to make it work for me. do it in playful tone and she'll know you're mocking every other asshole in the club. of course straight women might react differently. lesbians are a bit soft on knuckle-headed baby dykes.
invisible juggling would be great but you have to commit to it. google juggling faces for reference.
basically: all opening lines sound like opening lines. all pick up lines sound like pick up lines. she's on to you and the game. be funny, be nice and not afraid to laugh at yourself. in a club women are tasty seals in a shark feeding route. or they at least feel that way. don't be afraid to give her a laugh. don't fret so much. no woman has ever pants'd a man in a bar or set him on fire.
a few have tried the fire bit with power of the mind. the only result is usually a headache on the woman's end. i read once that , in NJ, a guy's toupee burst into flames. there is no scientific data to prove or disprove pyrokinesis.
Talking with women is pretty nerve racking at any age, I think. Those who say otherwise are just posturing.
It does get easy after the 10th rejection though, then the 1000th rejection doesn't even phase you. Just say hello and be mellow, talk to her as if you're semi-interested and are just contemplating asking her out some time.
I've always found starting off with a compliment as an unnatural and awkward way to start a convo. If I can't think of a non-contrived, natural way to talk to a woman I let it go. With that said the issue with shyness isn't knowing what to say in most cases, it's a confidence issue within yourself. My suggestion is to do activities where you're going to be forced in to social situations and meeting lots of people, eventually you'll gain more comfort and confidence when talking with women and the rest should take care of itself.
If you do give a compliment, it's better to add a question after it. "Nice shoes. Are they comfortable?" "Nice shoes. Where did you find them?" Maybe shoes aren't the best thing to start with, but you get the idea. If you add an open ended question it stimulates conversation. Now at what point you get a number or ask her out, that I'm no good at. And since I'm not good at that, it tends to make me not want to initiate conversations since I figure they won't get me anywhere.
The other advice is to practice and allow yourself to make mistakes and don't worry about it.
I can talk to women as long as they aren't dumb. It makes it so much easier if they can talk back. I could NOT get into a dumb woman's pants if my life depended upon it. You know when they say 'coyote ugly'? Well, I say 'coyote dumb'.
When they don't go for me I don't say she must be a 'lesbo'. I say that she is 'mentally challenged.' Of course I'm completely deluding myself. They are all smarter than me and play dumb to get rid of me. Kind of like when possums play dead. :0)
This is fucking brilliant for any reason to start a conversation. I'm putting this one in the notebooks.
im shy too......it sucks. today i had to show the cutest girl at work how to log on for the first time.........omg i think i creaped her out within the first 30secs because i blushed to hell lol.
yes this is true.....because even if the girl thinks your cute and wouldnt mind talking, they might not know how to respond back and the slience will kill the vibe. but make it easy for her to answer and if she is interested she isnt going to shut up.
Nice jeans. Are they comfortable?:wink:
I knew it, she's a lesbo.
Read your profile, trying to be funny.:tongue:
That sounds like Father Dougal trying to deal with an unexpected female visitor. He has received the advice that one way to talk to women is to talk about clothes.
Dougal: Are ye all right there? How's your bra?
Dougal: Your bra. Is it comfortable?
Watch it here (1:03 minutes).
I have just had a good think about this.....
I think the best thing to do is just be friendly.
I am naturally very friendly and chatty....so its easy for me to end up talkin to just about anyone when I'm out and about which can often end up in a lot of
unwanted attention aswell!!
So I reckon the trick is being natural.
First thing you do is be happy!! SMILE at people you like....
this opens way for conversation, then just start a conversation about anything (well nearly anything) as long as it fits in with whats goin on around you....e.g, are you in a long queue, talk about that, is the weather shit?? talk about that ( would happen alot in England), have they just dropped something?? pick it up, do they look pissed off?? ask if they are okay (alrite if you work together and are new colleagues etc,etc).
I know it sounds really elementary and I'm sure other people will be able to think of better examples...but bein natural really is the trick I think and then ONLY when you are gettin along should you introduce yourself and say your name....with a handshake obviously.
If you are natural and happy you will attract other people....well the same applies to the oppositte sex.
Once you get the basics in place you can move things along a bit....
Hope that helps a bit!!!
phew! thanks for all the answers! there is a program director where i volunteer at that i would like to ask out. i work at a zoo and i had already given her a behind the scenes tour. she is loud and high energy! i think she has a boyfriend. my point being is that she is the program director where i volunteer at. i go there to get away from my life and to volunteer. i'd hate to ask her out officially and possibly ruin things, i.e., it's just her personality to be outgoing. so any advice on what to do?
Hey! I'm wondering something here.
This question could be for either girls or guys ... what would you think if someone came up to you and said, "Hi, I'm (name) ... it makes me nervous to walk up to someone as attractive as you, but I just didn't want to miss this chance."