Pakistan men and homoeroticism

Owl

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So I need some clarification about a little situation at work that I’m intrigued by.

So the area where I sit is frequented by people who pass by from one department to another. Some people glance in my direction and others simply ignore me as the walk by. But some select few actually have a tendency to stare right at me. I’ve noticed this one particular person within the last two months staring in my direction. At first I took it as casual glance but then it happened more than like six times where he’d look right at me. My gaydar keeps telling me he’s straight but yet I wonder why would a straight guy look at another guy so intently? Last Friday I decided to break the ice and spoke to him. He passed by my desk and I called him over by his name (knowing peoples names at my job is no big deal) and kept the conversation casual regarding something he does w/ work. I still felt he was straight but his body language was interesting as he leaned into me on my desk and looked right at me in my eyes without breaking the stare. He was friendly and opened and offered to show me what he does specifically work wise.

After that I thought because I called him out a bit by breaking the ice that he’ll avoid me but didn’t and would casually look in my way and at times say hello. One time when I did say hello to him myself, another person from his department looked at me first perhaps surprised I said something to him and then looked at him with a smile. I found that interesting. Then another person from his department would look at me more intently as he walked by my desk and I realized the two are friends. The funny thing about all this is I’m still thinking this guy is straight. He hasn’t bothered to directly make me realize he knows my name for example. I still catch him staring as he walks by looking directly at me but I wonder at this stage whether it’s just casual now after I broke the ice. He is from Pakistan and perhaps there’s something I’m missing about their culture that’s not allowing me to see all this more clearly? Any input?
 
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It's really hard to say. Sounds exciting but personally I'd try to stay cool. If other people in his dept have noticed something, little smiles and intent looks, it could be that the office gossip mill is kicking in. Must be really hard to concentrate intercepting all those passing glances ;) I've had a similar situation and frankly people quite want you to make a fool of yourself.
 
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KuronoB

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He hasn’t bothered to directly make me realize he knows my name for example.

You're overthinking this. He has never even called you by your name, so you can let the "omg, he looks at me intensely, is he gay and into me?" rest for a while until he at least does a better job of greeting you.

It is good that you think cultural norms play a role here. I think in Pakistan, eye contact is sometimes avoided, moreso than in the USA/UK/Canada. He may have gotten cultural adjustment coaching to make more eye contact, and is still adjusting to cultural norms.

By the way, neither your profile or your post state where you are, so although readers might assume you're in the USA, that assumption could be wrong, and could throw off the comments you get here.
 

khiz

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So I need some clarification about a little situation at work that I’m intrigued by.

So the area where I sit is frequented by people who pass by from one department to another. Some people glance in my direction and others simply ignore me as the walk by. But some select few actually have a tendency to stare right at me. I’ve noticed this one particular person within the last two months staring in my direction. At first I took it as casual glance but then it happened more than like six times where he’d look right at me. My gaydar keeps telling me he’s straight but yet I wonder why would a straight guy look at another guy so intently? Last Friday I decided to break the ice and spoke to him. He passed by my desk and I called him over by his name (knowing peoples names at my job is no big deal) and kept the conversation casual regarding something he does w/ work. I still felt he was straight but his body language was interesting as he leaned into me on my desk and looked right at me in my eyes without breaking the stare. He was friendly and opened and offered to show me what he does specifically work wise.

After that I thought because I called him out a bit by breaking the ice that he’ll avoid me but didn’t and would casually look in my way and at times say hello. One time when I did say hello to him myself, another person from his department looked at me first perhaps surprised I said something to him and then looked at him with a smile. I found that interesting. Then another person from his department would look at me more intently as he walked by my desk and I realized the two are friends. The funny thing about all this is I’m still thinking this guy is straight. He hasn’t bothered to directly make me realize he knows my name for example. I still catch him staring as he walks by looking directly at me but I wonder at this stage whether it’s just casual now after I broke the ice. He is from Pakistan and perhaps there’s something I’m missing about their culture that’s not allowing me to see all this more clearly? Any input?
As a Pakistani male, I can tell you that Pakistani men do stare alot. Me living in this country as a gay individual, people will stare at me without ANY intention of relationship or interest in the dating way. In Pakistan, men are even seen holding hands on the streets BUT they're not gay. They're just friends. It's normal to do that here. So it might be just the cultural difference.
 
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