Horrified Republicans learned today from the campaign of Governor Sarah Palin that Senator John McCain has knowingly had associations with Democrats. He is reported to have spoken with them, touched them, dined with them at taxpayers' expense, and apparently has had long, long strategy sessions with them deep into the night, in secret. McCain has collaborated with the very worst, the most absolutely vile, liberal Democrats in the United States, repeatedly and openly, according to Governor Palin herself, at a rally today in Wichita, Kansas. "This news could not have come at a worse time for the United States and for our campaign," Palin said to a rally attended by hundreds, perhaps thousands of supporters who appeared shocked at nearly everything she said. Palin nearly broke into tears several times. But she got a hold of herself, and in a clear voice said: "With God as my witness, I want to tell each and every one of you, all you really loyal guys right here who are this country's real Americans, that I cannot stand by and let someone who has been tainted and corrupted by these associations anywhere near the White House. My fellow citizens, I come before you today to say I completely ready to take over the number one spot, and run this country as the number one President of the United States of America!" Palin went on to express her deep disappointment and outrage at the explosive revelations. "I am just as upset as all of you are at this terrible shock. John McCain has had repeated, intimate associations with people who are absolutely opposed to everything we stand for. He is pals with vicious, anti-American thugs, who want to terrorize each and every one of you. John McCain befriends these terrorists!! He actually associates with people who want to rip the US constitution to shreds and sell what is left of our country to the Soviet Union! Well, have I got news for John, for you, and for everybody who has ever thought about that. Over my dead body!! I cannot and will not stand by while dirty communist dictator democrats invade this virgin land from Russia and just ruin and spoil everything!! " "I know that each and everyone of you is as disgusted as I am to learn of this dark, terrible secret John McCain has been hiding from us. But I want you to know I actually got over it pretty quick, and I think you can too. Why? Because I know that each and everyone of you has faith, just like me! I know you are believers, just like I am!" "So, I'll tell you what. We don't need no John McCain to win the White House! Shucks, we don't even need no organization!! All we need is faith. I know sure as I know anything that if we just believe we will win the White House, we will! That is exactly how everything has ever happened to me, everything in my life. It just happened, because I am a person of faith. So I want all of you, right now, to just pray with me. If we do it, and really, really, really believe, it will absolutely happen! And that horrible ex running mate of mine can just go jump in a lake. Now bow your heads and pray HARD! In two weeks, we are going to win the White House if we just truly, absolutely believe we will."