Paranoia

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We all read many penis size related material in this website, willingly or not. I was wondering though... Do women have a female version of this insecurity? Maybe something as universal as penis size in your culture? Something cultural? Or do you think women don't have such a thing and it is totally individual regardless of the place?

I know we are now all mature enough to enjoy our bodies regardless of the opinion of others, but there must be something that all your friends wanted to have to draw attention to themsleves when you were a teenager. Maybe a commom fear?

I am curious. I don't think women have such a thing, but I am not a woman to answer =p I just ask for straight answers hehe Maybe I get surprised hehe
 
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LaFemme

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Oops. Premature posting.

Weight is an obsession. I’ve posted about it before, but seriously if I ever have to sit through another lunch session with a bunch of women obsessing about diets I think I might actually stick a fork through my eye.

Keto, Atkins, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Dr. Bernstein, Paleo, surgery, liquid, powder, cleanses, ad infinitum. I had to lose weight because I was diabetic. I cannot diet - it sets off this appetite in me that I can not control. So I just cut portion size, became super aware of what I was putting in my mouth and if I really wanted it - I ate it. Plus I walked a lot more. I’m now way thinner. The women at work? “Omg, what’s your secret?” Less food, more movement. Well, that takes too long. And it’s too hard. Whatever. I just keep losing weight and they they keep obsessing. I just don’t think about it. It’s a habit.

But weight is something we’re constantly told matters. Never thin enough. Men won’t date ‘fat’ chicks. And I don’t mean just good looking, fit men. I mean, beat up looking, old, tired fat men. Again, whatever. You don’t like it? Don’t touch it.
 
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My self esteem has always been fairly robust and it has needed to be and if there was any paranoia it is kept strictly to one's self.
I waters I swam in - family, business, private are wall to wall sharks.
You don't bleed in a shark tank and you don't thrash about like a wounded seal.

I attracted masculine attention effortlessly, unfortunately.
I've been on the receiving end of active hatred from females because of it.
They either got over it or they didn't.
I didn't care which.
I think my complete indifference to their opinions hurt them more than any
stinging retort I could have offered.
 
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I'm not paranoid about my body. The main things I see shoved down women's throats is weight and looking young. Due to health and other factors my build fluctuates from average to more fit to a bit chubby. Plenty of people out there won't find me attractive no matter what I do, and quite frankly I don't care. Do I have the occasional thought about how I would like to be slimmer and more muscular? Sure. It is not even remotely close to the point of obsession that a lot of men show about dicks on here, though. Looking younger is not something I'm fussed about, either. People age. It happens. I'm still relatively young, but I can't see a personality shift happening to where I suddenly am fretting about looking 25 when I'm 70.
 

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To echo what's already been said, it's weight more than anything else. But, there's more to it than that which isn't so specific to "don't be fat." We live in a society where guys can be total slobs and it's sort of fine but women have to be perfectly shaped and groomed and everything or people act like the world's ending.
 

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It's funny, I have insecurities about my lack of fat. I am not curvaceous. Small boobs, almost non-existent booty... I've been told I could eat a sandwich and all that bullshit... How I need more meat on my bones. I get "skinny shamed" and told that "real women have curves".

So, yeah. I'm not obsessive about it. Not paranoid. A bit insecure? Yes. I can admit that.
 

AlteredEgo

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My experience is somewhere between Fade's and Bonfire's. I have lived most of my life under pressure, and mostly my situations made cracks in the facade untenable. After a period of pretending none of it mattered, I was changed. I embraced anything perceived as non-conforming within myself, and cared less and less about what others had to say about my thoughts, actions, appearance. That's not to say none of it matters, it just doesn't matter nearly as much as my own opinions. I consider feedback, but my opinion about myself can only be swayed so much. I know myself, and knowledge of self has given me confidence to spare.


Having said that, I come from a community that places aesthetic value on a big, peachy ass. Mine has a lovely shape, but it is small. Once upon a time, I'd look at it and try to imagine it bigger. But, now I think of it as cute. It's mine. I only ever wish it was bigger when I sit on crappy furniture. I don't own any crappy furniture. LOL I have this one friend, whose kitchen chairs are the WORST. When he sees me starting to squirm, he asks me if I need to go sit somewhere softer. Then we take it to the bedroom and have a good time. I think I'm going to give him my grandmother's dining chairs. They could stand reupholstering, but I stuck some nice pillows and slip covers on them. More than good enough for a bachelor pad. Other than my ass going numb on cheap chairs, it's served me well. And you know what I noticed? Once I liked it, everyone else seemed to like it too.
 

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I am at peace with my body and soul but it's not always been the case,
My first complex started with my boobs, I often got bullied and unwanted attention because of their size but I think this actually helped to toughen me up and devop my personality.
Aforementioned weight is the other thing, I've always been a little plump apart from one period in my life. However after three pregnancies, hitting my 30's and my love for all things unhealthy being skinny is not going to be happening. Do I care? Nope, as long as I don't get too big as to threaten my health I couldn't care less. The only times I bother about my weight is more about practicality when things don't fit! X
 

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Just because I think weight is the obsession of many women, doesn’t mean it’s mine.

I don’t care. I am comfortable with my age, looks, weight, etc. Wish I’d been this comfortable my whole life. I wasted too much time when I was young worrying about stuff that doesn’t matter.
 

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There are about 9 people in the whole of humanity I give a fuck about what they think of me. Those people have assured me I am a perfect ML.

Am I perfect Western Ideal of Beauty? Nope. I am too tall. Too pale. Too inked. Too Blue-haired. Too muscular. I dress funny. I talk weird. I am terrified of down escalators. *shrug*

All the above makes me the thoroughly groovy ML the people I love seem to like being around.

I have never obsessed about anything *other than Supernatural* the way men obsess about their penis. My thoughts on my ass have never caused me to hate myself or resent others. I have never tried to enlarge anything other than my biceps and related muscle groups. I don't lie on the intorwebz to impress strangers with attributes I do not possess in a creepy vicarious living thing.

I don't always like me, but I always care for myself. I am fond of my foibles and my gift.
 

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We all read many penis size related material in this website, willingly or not. I was wondering though... Do women have a female version of this insecurity? Maybe something as universal as penis size in your culture? Something cultural? Or do you think women don't have such a thing and it is totally individual regardless of the place?

I know we are now all mature enough to enjoy our bodies regardless of the opinion of others, but there must be something that all your friends wanted to have to draw attention to themsleves when you were a teenager. Maybe a commom fear?

I am curious. I don't think women have such a thing, but I am not a woman to answer =p I just ask for straight answers hehe Maybe I get surprised hehe

What does the bolded part of your OP even mean?!

A common fear, I suspect, is that of being an unwanted focus of attention. I am going off of my own perception and experience when I was younger. And even now, as an older person.

This can relate to appearance, it can relate to actions or quirks or whatnot, it can relate to being HYPER-aware of others looking at you and what they may be saying.

Me, I'm me, I don't care, I have nothing in my life i can compare to the penis insecurity I've seen expressed on this site. I guess when I was younger it was about being laughed at for being weird and now that I'm older, being older. That only scrapes the surface of the penis insecurity -- maybe the closest would be those painful younger years when you knew people were laughing at you because you were twitchy. Uh, in my case, anyways.

I am probably a simulation anyways so someone a few thousand or a million years from now made me up.

Sorry, I'm on a simulation theory kick. I get obsessed with things like that. Seriously.
 
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Oops. Premature posting.

Weight is an obsession. I’ve posted about it before, but seriously if I ever have to sit through another lunch session with a bunch of women obsessing about diets I think I might actually stick a fork through my eye.

Keto, Atkins, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Dr. Bernstein, Paleo, surgery, liquid, powder, cleanses, ad infinitum. I had to lose weight because I was diabetic. I cannot diet - it sets off this appetite in me that I can not control. So I just cut portion size, became super aware of what I was putting in my mouth and if I really wanted it - I ate it. Plus I walked a lot more. I’m now way thinner. The women at work? “Omg, what’s your secret?” Less food, more movement. Well, that takes too long. And it’s too hard. Whatever. I just keep losing weight and they they keep obsessing. I just don’t think about it. It’s a habit.

But weight is something we’re constantly told matters. Never thin enough. Men won’t date ‘fat’ chicks. And I don’t mean just good looking, fit men. I mean, beat up looking, old, tired fat men. Again, whatever. You don’t like it? Don’t touch it.

Yeah, I saw you answered too fast =p When you said "weight" I actually thought "Damn... Ok, my question was stupid".

My self esteem has always been fairly robust and it has needed to be and if there was any paranoia it is kept strictly to one's self.
I waters I swam in - family, business, private are wall to wall sharks.
You don't bleed in a shark tank and you don't thrash about like a wounded seal.

I attracted masculine attention effortlessly, unfortunately.
I've been on the receiving end of active hatred from females because of it.
They either got over it or they didn't.
I didn't care which.
I think my complete indifference to their opinions hurt them more than any
stinging retort I could have offered.

"You don't bleed in a shark tank". That deserves italic font. Best sentence of the week and I am gonna say that from now on xD If people are trying to bring you down, I am glad you have a strong self esteem, I just hope it is not attached to your looks.

Hoho I doubt you are colder than me xD I am a Peter Parker who didn't get his spider bite. It is not cool to be early trained to say "fuck your opinion", but if my appearance didn't highlight you in the crowd, at least I saw it as a chance to improve myself in other ways.

I'm not paranoid about my body. The main things I see shoved down women's throats is weight and looking young. Due to health and other factors my build fluctuates from average to more fit to a bit chubby. Plenty of people out there won't find me attractive no matter what I do, and quite frankly I don't care. Do I have the occasional thought about how I would like to be slimmer and more muscular? Sure. It is not even remotely close to the point of obsession that a lot of men show about dicks on here, though. Looking younger is not something I'm fussed about, either. People age. It happens. I'm still relatively young, but I can't see a personality shift happening to where I suddenly am fretting about looking 25 when I'm 70.

"Plenty of people out there won't find me attractive no matter what I do, and quite frankly I don't care." I guess this was our first sight of the fount of happiness hehe The coincidence is that I said the same to a friend this week and this sentence actually raised his spirit. Even if the person that we have our eye on does not find us attractive, this is a big world and there is someone out there even better for us.

It's funny, I have insecurities about my lack of fat. I am not curvaceous. Small boobs, almost non-existent booty... I've been told I could eat a sandwich and all that bullshit... How I need more meat on my bones. I get "skinny shamed" and told that "real women have curves".

So, yeah. I'm not obsessive about it. Not paranoid. A bit insecure? Yes. I can admit that.

I understant you. I am an ectomorph, in other words, I have to eat and work out more than I like, otherwise I will look like a skeleton.

I stopped caring about it and I am kind liking it now. I am entering in a age where many people around me are fighting against the slowdown of their metabolism while mine is almost that of a regular person hehe Disguised blessing, my friend. Same thing for my younger appearance... a curse while in my 20s, but now that I am approaching my 30s, I am hearing "what moisturizer do you use" quite a lot.

A hint to mitigate your "problem": go to a nutritionist and make a diet to gain weight, but a diet with foods you actually LIKE. I tried many diets that ended up as total failures because of that. If we are to get stuffed with food, it is better when the food tastes good. You are going to incorporate that new habit to your daily life and it will be pleasurable.
 
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I mean... I said "weight" not "being chubby or fat" for a reason. :p For my own body, it would tend to be that I should lose weight, if I was trying to fit mainstream ideals. I had someone call my legs masculine once which amused me more than anything else. Gee, I'm sorry me doing squats intimidated you with your slim legs, bro.

I in zero way was excluding how shitty people can be about slender and/or muscular women. People can always find something to be an asshole about, though. It's dumb.
 
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Holly Doors

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I mean... I said "weight" not "being chubby or fat" for a reason. :p For my own body, it would tend to be that I should lose weight, if I was trying to fit mainstream ideals. I had someone call my legs masculine once which amused me more than anything else. Gee, I'm sorry me doing squats intimidated you with your slim legs, bro.

I in zero way was excluding how shitty people can be about slender and/or muscular women. People can always find something to be an asshole about, though. It's dumb.

You're gorgeous hunni, we all are. For a man I really admire my hubby for the way he can see the good in all people, one of his favourite sayings is everyone has something great about them (until of course a few may turn out to be complete assholes Lol) but he really means it and right down to the shallow things like physical attraction. I'm sure the majority of us women and men have obsessed about something about our selves at sometime, we all need to take 5 to realise that nothing really matters embrace ourselves for who and what we are X
 

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A common fear, I suspect, is that of being an unwanted focus of attention. I am going off of my own perception and experience when I was younger. And even now, as an older person.
Unwanted attention, once upon a time, was nearly all attention from males. Men and boys were either sexualizing me, which made me very uncomfortable, or out to humiliate me, which (obviously) I didn't like. None of that had much to do with my insecurities. It was more that I knew how I wanted to he treated, and that wasn't it. Those formative experiences were such that to this day, I do not generally entertain any men who approach me in public without invitation. If I'm interested, I will make this known in my own way. If approached when unprepared, I await an opportunity, and disappear as if I never was there.
 
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Unwanted attention, once upon a time, was nearly all attention from males. Men and boys were either sexualizing me, which made me very uncomfortable, or out to humiliate me, which (obviously) I didn't like. None of that had much to do with my insecurities. It was more that I knew how I wanted to he treated, and that wasn't it. Those formative experiences were such that to this day, I do not generally entertain any men who approach me in public without invitation. If I'm interested, I will make this known in my own way. If approached when unprepared, I await an opportunity, and disappear as if I never was there.

I had a span of time where I swore off having male friends (my male family members are all pretty amazing examples of good people, though). I was fairly young at the time mind you, but it seemed like all any of them wanted was to treat me like shit or to fuck me while pretending to be my friend. That span of time was relatively brief, but it most definitely occurred.
 
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I understant you. I am an ectomorph, in other words, I have to eat and work out more than I like, otherwise I will look like a skeleton.

I stopped caring about it and I am kind liking it now. I am entering in a age where many people around me are fighting against the slowdown of their metabolism while mine is almost that of a regular person hehe Disguised blessing, my friend. Same thing for my younger appearance... a curse while in my 20s, but now that I am approaching my 30s, I am hearing "what moisturizer do you use" quite a lot.

A hint to mitigate your "problem": go to a nutritionist and make a diet to gain weight, but a diet with foods you actually LIKE. I tried many diets that ended up as total failures because of that. If we are to get stuffed with food, it is better when the food tastes good. You are going to incorporate that new habit to your daily life and it will be pleasurable.

I have no intention of trying to gain weight just to get people to shut up about my lack of curves. I have considered different things like potentially getting implants, but it's not at all worth it to me.

I don't have an issue with the fact that people have preferences. I have my own. I simply don't put others down when they don't fit those preferences. If a guy likes curvy women, he can go right ahead. It just pisses me off when I hear/read stupid shit like "real women have curves". Actually, women are just women. We don't have to look like anything to qualify the fact that we are women.

People don't think before they talk, and it makes them look as stupid as they damn well are. Growing up in an area where typically, men like big boobs/butts and I have almost none, I gained a bit of an insecurity about it. Even my own boyfriend has a preference for thicker, curvier women. He has told me more than once. I've known that long before we ever hooked up.

Now that I'm an adult if I catch myself having negative thoughts about my body I either vent about it, or ignore it all together after reminding myself of where those thoughts come from.

I'm glad I can say that I never hated another lady over the fact that she may have looked the way I wish I did. It's not her fault my body is what it is, or that she looks how she does. It's just biology. Why get mad over that? Fucking stupid.
 
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I appreciate your answersand sincerity, mates. I read all your comments and it seems that weight is the winner of insecurities. I got the flu this week and I have a fever right now, so I apologize if my lack of answers seems like a lack of interest. I am just avoiding the computer right now hehe

What does the bolded part of your OP even mean?!

You have a good eye =p I wrote the words "penis" and "size" in the same sentence. I didn't wanted to get anyone who did a dynamic reading angry, so I wrote that sentence as a moral cushion hehehe It seems I didn't do a good job =p


I have no intention of trying to gain weight just to get people to shut up about my lack of curves. I have considered different things like potentially getting implants, but it's not at all worth it to me.

I don't have an issue with the fact that people have preferences. I have my own. I simply don't put others down when they don't fit those preferences. If a guy likes curvy women, he can go right ahead. It just pisses me off when I hear/read stupid shit like "real women have curves". Actually, women are just women. We don't have to look like anything to qualify the fact that we are women.

People don't think before they talk, and it makes them look as stupid as they damn well are. Growing up in an area where typically, men like big boobs/butts and I have almost none, I gained a bit of an insecurity about it. Even my own boyfriend has a preference for thicker, curvier women. He has told me more than once. I've known that long before we ever hooked up.

Now that I'm an adult if I catch myself having negative thoughts about my body I either vent about it, or ignore it all together after reminding myself of where those thoughts come from.

I'm glad I can say that I never hated another lady over the fact that she may have looked the way I wish I did. It's not her fault my body is what it is, or that she looks how she does. It's just biology. Why get mad over that? Fucking stupid.

I didn't mean to offend you. Quite the opposite. I started working out and gained weight for health reasons. Any aestethic gain was merely a consequence. The extra weight I gained improved my health a lot, so I don't dissociate both.

I myself am a thin and not tall guy in a world where the male paragon is somewhere between Chris Hemsworth and Henry Cavill. If I were to carry about this...