Parents asked if i was gay.

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by unknown_rican, Aug 24, 2010.

  1. unknown_rican

    unknown_rican Member

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    Hello,

    I'm 24 a virgin. Never had a relationship with a woman due to my small penis and insecurities. I do have penis envy. I often watch straight and gay porn wishing I had a penis that was a bit larger. I do have poor body image of self. My voice isn't the most masculine.

    My penis about 4 inches on hard. I'm over weight not sloppy over weight though.

    My parents kept saying to focus on loving myself more and not being afraid to open up and take the rejection from a young lady. My dad kept even asking me "are you gay," etc. I just felt so odd. I was nervous and started to question my own sexuality. I don't think homosexuality is something I could see myself being happy with. I don't consider myself gay. Although, my parents are clearly concerned.

    I don't know what to do. What are tips and suggestions.
     
  2. jameshawket

    jameshawket Member

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    I would tell you to not let anyone tell you what your sexuality is. If they are convinced of something that you know you aren't, or never could be comfortable doing, then it doesn't matter what they think. Nothing you say could change their minds about it. Just don't let it concern or bother you, and live your life in a way that's most comfortable for you.
    Also, be happy with what you have. Ain't nothing you can do to make the size bigger, and feeling bad about it is only going to worsen your insecurities that you claim already exist.
    I'm the type of person who believes that there is a "someone for everyone" if you haven't found the right one yet, you will. The right one will not make you feel scared or nervous, or that you'll be rejected. They'll make you feel comfortable and confident and like perfection.
    Be confident in yourself and learn to be content with what you have :)
    Peace to you sir,
    James
     
  3. JaimeB

    JaimeB Active Member

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    i think your father is being inappropriate, and that he is probably reinforcing your insecurity rather than helping you to be more confident. you will need some confidence to find the love of a good woman. not all women care about penis size. it's us men who obsess over dick size...

    is there any way you could get some free or low-cost appointment to talk to a sex therapist or counselor? a person like that might be your best hope for breaking out of your self-doubt. you are probably a very fine young man with a lot of qualities that would attract a partner.

    if i were in your shoes, the next time my father asked me if i was gay, i would say, "dad, you're not helping by asking me that. i'm not gay, i just need more confidence, and when you ask me if i'm gay it does nothing to help. if you can't be more positive, i'll have to ask you not to talk to me about my sex life at all."
     
    #3 JaimeB, Aug 24, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2010
  4. bobbydrizzle

    bobbydrizzle New Member

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    And I would tell you to do what most guys with small penises do. Start out buying the biggest truck you can find. Then, get a gym membership and start working out compulsively. Lastly, go around calling people you don't know fags and pick random fights every now and then to prove to everyone that even a guy with a small dick can still be macho. Then cry yourself to sleep every night.

    Ok. Seriously. The guy above is right. You can't do anything about the size of your dick. Your going to have to get over it. Find a girl with a really small vagina on eharmony or something. Or just get really good at other things. Think on the bright side.. Women will feel a lot more willing to let you put it in their ass.

    Cheers!
     
  5. unknown_rican

    unknown_rican Member

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    when i tell you i laughed out loud!!!


    thanks you guys. any more advice would be appreciated.
     
  6. unknown_rican

    unknown_rican Member

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    Do you think I should tell him that tomorrow? This just happen. It really does bother me. In grade school I went through puberty extremely late and was often teased. Then it just grew into something ugly. It hurt hearing my own ask me that. Then tell me people think I am gay. :frown1:

    I'd like to have kids eventually and the whole 9 yards. I'm just a cluster fuck of insecurities and its so hard to put anyone in my shoes. My father told me to stop self-pitying.

    I went to the doctor because, i was born with hypospadias and she told me what I was feeling wasn't uncommon amongst most men who suffer it. She kept telling me I was normal and if I had any questions to call or email.
     
    #6 unknown_rican, Aug 24, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2010
  7. JaimeB

    JaimeB Active Member

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    if she told you to call, do it, and ask her to hook you up with some counseling. tell her what's been happening to your self-esteem and that you need help.
     
  8. bobbydrizzle

    bobbydrizzle New Member

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    Last comment. This is important. Your father probably also has a small penis. Seriously. These things are hereditary. Maybe you should ask him how he got around it.
     
  9. unknown_rican

    unknown_rican Member

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    He told me that he found my mother and of course before her he said he was rejected often. Told me to stop being such a slob *my room is fithly* get self confidence and put myself in a situation to get rejected and try again.

    He thinks thats the only way I'll be able to overcome my insecurity is by actually getting in a situation with a woman. I saw his penis when I was younger and he is more than me. I think my being overweight and hypospadias probably took away from me a bit.
     
  10. NightFish

    NightFish Active Member

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    Learn to eat pussy, once you make the top of their head pop off, they won't give a shit.
     
  11. maxcok

    Gold Member

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    Your dad's advice of putting yourself out there only to get rejected is only likely to damage your self-esteem more at this stage and make you more depressed. You need to start by focusing on yourself in a healthy way, emotionally and physically. This is good advice:
    Get yourself in shape too, by eating right and starting an exercise program. Activities that combine aerobics and muscle building are the quickest way to transform your body. The important thing there is to find things that you enjoy doing, that way you'll stick with them. If you really throw yourself into it, you'll not only start feeling better about your body, you'll be surprised by how much it improves your general mood and outlook too. You'll be a ladykiller before you know it. :wink:

    The hypospadias is a tough one. Is there any treatment, e.g. corrective surgery they can do for that? Whether or not, don't let that be the excuse for not taking control of yourself in a positive way.

    And clean your damn room! :biggrin2:
     
  12. zpacifico

    zpacifico New Member

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    Parents do know their kids, no matter how clumzy parents might be by comunicating with them. Your father might be just plain worried about you, just like parents often are. His ways of getting things out of you are touching areas of your personality that have been hurt many times before, therefore it is normal for you to feel defensive. Many guys never or rarely talk openly with their parents when it comes down to sex. No one can really tell you what to do. Losing virginity is an everlasting torture for everyone and it will happen eventually, just do not stress yourself about it. Just talk to your doctor she is the person who can actually help you. Don't go angry on your father. Next time he asks you if you are gay, tell him how you feel when he asks you that. He might be having no bad intentions by asking you that, it could be only your own fears of talking openly as it is with people with bad expiriences. Just stand proud and don't let anyone talk you down. All your issues can be mend like maxcok said before. You have all the tools to do something about it. You can change the way how you look so use it, prove yourself and again yourself in the first place above anyone else that you are able to do so and that is your advantage.
     
  13. unknown_rican

    unknown_rican Member

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    Thats true. Thank you for this...
     
  14. atlas23

    atlas23 Member

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    Just stop worrying and start living! do what ever you want! go out and have fun. You are in your 20s! now is the time to have fun!! Get over your self pity and insecurities! Don't waste your time with no sense, just have fun :)
     
  15. D_Ezdras Dingledonger

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    Dude it's okay to be shy. There are millions of 30 year old virgins out there. I'm not saying stay celibate just because it's acceptable, but you're not nearly as weird as you think. You're young and you have lots of time to work on yourself, bit by bit.

    You do have to try and develop a healthy indifference towards rejection though. I used to take it horribly myself - after a bad experience I would obsess over it for weeks, thinking I was ugly and/or retarded. Now I don't worry about it because I know you can never please everyone no matter who you are. If one girl doesn't like me, the next one will, and that's usually exactly how it is, too. So recognize that it's just about finding the girls who are into you, and there will always be some if you put yourself out there, because life is essentially a number's game.

    Your dick is a non-issue as far as I'm concerned. Again, there are millions of guys with four-inch cocks getting laid every weekend. Present yourself well, be a man, own situations, and you could have a two inch dick while still doing fine.

    As for parents... well, what do they know? Mine surprise me almost every week with how little they actually know me. Just do your own thing and focus on what you want, not the labels they want to give you. I've been talking about you finding girls because you've identified yourself as straight, but if you discover that you're bi or gay that's fine too. Just take your time, work on yourself slowly, and then you'll automatically figure out what you're into.
     
  16. unknown_rican

    unknown_rican Member

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    thank you for this...its just hard you know?

    i'm opening up to people i dont even know i just dont know how to go about it in my day to day. it's difficult because, i've avoided it for so long.
     
  17. B_625girth

    B_625girth New Member

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    parents can be unreal. my parents were worried I was having sex with the girl next door, who's dad worked on a boat, and mom was gone sometimes for 2-3 hours. I assured them I was not. after about a year, my mom wanted me to start dating some of her friends daughters, which would have been okay, but the only hot one, had a steady bf. so then they thought I was gay. I didn't tell them I was banging several of the gal next door's friends when they visited. they finally dropped the subject when they caught my gf & I fucking on a saturday morning my freshman yr in college. I went thru dry spells and then i had more than i knew what to do with.

    when I was 23 my dad asked me how many girls I had been with. I told him I wasn't sure. he looked at me funny. then he freaked out when I said about 50. I told him I inherited his fat cock, and put it to good use. after that, never another word.

    you might try getting in shape, losing some weight. try some PE, most everyone can gain a little with the proper methods and determination.
     
    #17 B_625girth, Aug 25, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2010
  18. B_thickjohnny

    B_thickjohnny New Member

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    Ditto, Ditto, Ditto! I could not have said it better. Your father is out of line and has no idea what damage he's doing by being so inappropriate.
     
  19. SR_borntolook3

    SR_borntolook3 New Member

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    I know just how you feel. I am 81/4 inches long,and thick, but it seems as though other guys cocks are more beautiful and alluring than my own. Your father thinking that you are gay because you don't want some senseless and shallow dimwit to hurt your feelings is way off base, and your parents need to stop goading you to fail. All things in thier time. The only thing that they could be in a rush to see is grandchildren before they die. The rest is respectfully none of thier damn business.
     
  20. sexplease

    Gold Member

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    own YOUR life and answer to no one ... including nosy parents.
    tell them to M.Y.O.B. or you'll start asking them for details about their private parts.

    and as for your penis size. You're a hell of a lot closer to average than most guys who clam to be 7+ and more claim.
    Find a good physical activity you enjoy and/or spend some time at a gym.
    Visit a personal counselor or look a mentor to help put and keep your life and feelings validated.
    Don't be too hard on yourself either. Most of the feeling and thoughts and questions you have are quite normal and all part of growing towards finding comfort in your life.
     
    #20 sexplease, Aug 25, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2010
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