Parents asked if i was gay.

[unknown_rican]

it's hard a part of me wants to sit down with them and tell them im not gay. i know my mother knows im not but it's been so hard. but then i see couples and im not in a relationship. i've avoided my own feelings for so long. i'd watch porn at night straight, gay, or whatever else. But, I don't think I'm gay. Because, I could've had sex with a man long time ago if thats what I wanted. i see swole bodies and wish i had one. i look at porn and see a large penis and wish i had one.

I've neglected my body and just focused on distractions from my own life. Joining clubs, activities, events, being online all hours of the day on entertainment and gaming forums. then i'd go into isolation. i really don't think its me being gay. because, i dont think i could bring myself to do that. i've tried and i dont think so. people say it but i can't. i went through puberty hella late and i went to a black school system so most my peers thought i was gay because my voice and not to mention i was the only rican there who spoke dead proper english.

i think its my penis. i've become scared that no one would accept me for it and because i couldn't accept me for it. i closed off. and just kept myself distracted. when i was a child i fooled around with cousins but my cousins fooled around and they all have wives now.

i dont want to live the life of being gay because so many people seem to be so unhappy being gay even one of my older professors was in his 40's single. its just not something i could deal with. doesn't look like something that would fulfill me in the long run of my life.

i dont know how to overcome my own insecurities.

 

[AlextheRedhead]

Just watched a movie last night on DVD, Yes Man with Jim Carey. He always said no and never got ahead and then a friend took him to a seminar called Yes is the new No. Funny movie. The point I am making is start saying Yes.

People are only really concerned about how they look. Everyone is this way. Be comfortable with your self and it will expand who you are. Don't feel that you must be straight or gay... just be.
Also don't worry about rejection because it happens to even the most hung men.

When I was 16 I was overweight and thought I was the only person who was like this. An aunt said to me to lose weight because I was young and this was a point in life I should enjoy being attractive. I did lose the weight by my diet and exercise.

So lose the weight and your confidence will soar. As far as a small penis I have met many guys who are small and they do just fine. As for being gay well there are also lots of gay men who are happy to be single and also many are in long term relationships. It is not exclusive to being straight to the idea of being with another person for a long time. Just as many straights are single as gays. Don't believe everything that the media says about gays living the life of loneliness.

Sounds like you do have some gay interests because you mention you watch gay porn.
Please don't confuse sexuality as being black and white there are a lot of gray areas.
Be turned on by what makes you hard and cum to put it bluntly.

Now that I have finished with this sermon I will finish it with what my lover said to me once.

"Don't ever let anyone ever make you feel you are not worth of being loved"

Good luck on your journey!!
Alex

 

[Boobalaa]

I've been asked that a few times also..my answer as always been and will always be.."well not exactly, but i do enjoy naked bodies and sex..Then I say, "Now it's your turn. What kind of kinky sex do you like?" That usually ends the session:biggrin1::biggrin1::biggrin1:

 

[unknown_rican]

i just look at penises to be honest and doggy style LOL. but i dont think its something i can bring myself to do. With all this being said my father is a heterosexual man who has a trans porn in his room.

I think porn is porn for the most part. It can peak curiosity for those willing to try for others it blooms and foster and then you have the population who justs get a rock off on it and keep it moving.

I know I want a family and I know that I do like women I just find myself distracting myself to a whole nother level and it doesn't help I don't really like my body.

 

[ripsrips]

Looking at porn and joining sites like this are going to harm your already low self confidence and make you even more upset. Turn off the porn and get to the gym and slowly lose some weight and that will do wonders for you and when you lose your gut you'll actually see your penis grow.

 

[unknown_rican]

Looking at porn and joining sites like this are going to harm your already low self confidence and make you even more upset. Turn off the porn and get to the gym and slowly lose some weight and that will do wonders for you and when you lose your gut you'll actually see your penis grow.

ok ugh its thetruth

 

[unknown_rican]

he was drinking when he was doing this but he always wants to have these long convos and communicate with me when he allows something to build up inside of him. he talks passionately about anything and everything to me. i don't think i'm gay but my parents are concerned because i don't date, i don't really go out, and i live in the middle of no where. in college i kind of distracted myself with activities.

 

[Peter Wood]

I’m not sure, but when I read your posts it seems that you are trying to make clear to yourself that you are not gay. It’s a fight of many young men who are afraid of being different. Take your time to find out what you really like. You can also like both men and women. There is no recipe for life.
I very well understand that you want to raise a family and have children. I can tell you from my own experience that you have to be very sure, because if you have gay feelings too, you have a fight with your own for the rest of your life.
Many members have said it: work on loosing some weight and focus on other things in life. I can be wrong, but if you act like you wrote in your posts, it is difficult for your parents not to be concerned. Tell them that you love them, but that you don’t like to discuss your sexual preferences with them because you have not found out yet what you prefer. Ask your doctor for advise how to devellop your sexuality.
And the size of your penis is not as important as you think it is. Besides, with your body more in shape you will notice that your penis looks better.

 

[oacliffbuddy]

You've made a good first step by asking an opinion but this is not the place to take them too seriously.

As kind hearted as people may think they are, it's overly easy for those who have never walked in your shoes and can never know what your life experiences have been that have brought you to this point to Monday morning quarterback. It's easy to be flip. It's easy to tell you to lose weight and you'll be hot. It's easy to tell you your dick will grow if you just shed a few pounds. It's easy just to tell you to just get over it. It's easy to tell you to just be comfortable with yourself". And all without knowing who you are or how you got to be the way you are.

I recommend seeking out professional guidance with someone who can walk with you through your history, draw you out and enable you to better understand and validate who you are as your own individual. With that precious insight and the knowledge that you are a good person, confidence will come and the other issues will resolve themselves in time.

It was only with a year of self sought professional therapy some 25years ago that I was able to gain insight into various life patterns that seemed to hold me back. When I was drawn out and able to acknowledge certain things, I was able to let those family issues go (it's almost always family related) and move on. BUT...it had to come from within ME! I found it a tremendously freeing experience. I highly and unashamedly recommend therapy to anyone who wants to understand "it" and get over "it" and move on! My therapy experience was by far the best and most rewarding time and money I ever invested!

Best luck and wishes to ya!

 

[unknown_rican]

this was therapeutic in a way and by telling my mother it was easy. its easier for me to tell girls my feelings than guys.

just wish i had a larger cock. i'd be able to lay girls LOL. so many of them seem so shallow when they talk about it.

 

[unknown_rican]

i do need to lose weight though my back is really aching if i lost weight and gained more muscle and looked better i'd feel better. and most likely attract some ladies and feel more confident about approaching them

 

[unknown_rican]

keep the comments coming you guys

 

[basque9]

i do need to lose weight though my back is really aching if i lost weight and gained more muscle and looked better i'd feel better. and most likely attract some ladies and feel more confident about approaching them

I don't know what it is like to be concerned about having a small penis; however, I really do know what it is like to be rejected by women because they thought mine was too large as a young man! I became very shy and withdrawn and somewhat depressed!

What I did was remake myself into a handsome , young muscled guy that everyone admired..it boosted my ego 10,000%. Before very long I was attracting not just women, but scores of men at the gym!
I believe if you adopt healthy eating and workout habits, and firm up your body, your life will be transformed!

 

[unknown_rican]

what was your working out habits and eating habits?

What are some responsible diets and workout regimens I could do? Also, any other supplemental advice would be helpful. I need to start working out to fix this. It's clear that men just like women also suffer insecurities that often go under the radar.

It's good to know I'm not completely alone though.

 

[BIGBULL29]

Dude it's okay to be shy. There are millions of 30 year old virgins out there. I'm not saying stay celibate just because it's acceptable, but you're not nearly as weird as you think. You're young and you have lots of time to work on yourself, bit by bit.

You do have to try and develop a healthy indifference towards rejection though. I used to take it horribly myself - after a bad experience I would obsess over it for weeks, thinking I was ugly and/or retarded. Now I don't worry about it because I know you can never please everyone no matter who you are. If one girl doesn't like me, the next one will, and that's usually exactly how it is, too. So recognize that it's just about finding the girls who are into you, and there will always be some if you put yourself out there, because life is essentially a number's game.

Your dick is a non-issue as far as I'm concerned. Again, there are millions of guys with four-inch cocks getting laid every weekend. Present yourself well, be a man, own situations, and you could have a two inch dick while still doing fine.

As for parents... well, what do they know? Mine surprise me almost every week with how little they actually know me. Just do your own thing and focus on what you want, not the labels they want to give you. I've been talking about you finding girls because you've identified yourself as straight, but if you discover that you're bi or gay that's fine too. Just take your time, work on yourself slowly, and then you'll automatically figure out what you're into.

Yes.

Well, look at me: I'm extremely well-endowed and never get laid (don't care to, though:smile.

 

[basque9]

what was your working out habits and eating habits?

What are some responsible diets and workout regimens I could do? Also, any other supplemental advice would be helpful. I need to start working out to fix this. It's clear that men just like women also suffer insecurities that often go under the radar.

It's good to know I'm not completely alone though.

I became a daily swimmer and I also began running. I curtailed eating extra carbohydrates....no potato chip snacks, no soft drinks , no candy bars . At the gym, I did light weight lifting and exercises on the bar! I gradually trimmed my weight by 20 pounds and I became attractive and very healthy looking. I began to develop friendships, which was new for me!

 

[jccrockman45]

You are getting some excellent suggestions here about getting fit. Would recommend that you take them. As you get more fit your self esteem will undoubtedly improve.
I too have a hypospadias condition which really bothered me growing up. I was very self conscious about it, etc. so I can really identify with you. I don't know how serious yours is, but mine is fairly high up so I can pee standing etc. In any case it did not stop me. Some one suggested repair, but from what I have seen in looking into it, repair is rather risky. If you have don't any looking around the internet at other cocks you will see many larger than yours, but also many smaller too. So I guess I would say make the best of what you have and can change.

 

[Edmond405]

You've been given lots of good advice here and I would only add this:

LISTEN! When everyone here tells you to get over your dick, believe them. Get over it. ALL MEN have gone through a period where they would change something about their body (usually their dick, but not always). If there's something you wish was different that you can change, then do it. Do it for yourself and yourself alone. The confidence you gain from accomplishing something for yourself will help you be more confident in other areas. As for the advice about sex - BELIEVE THE OTHER GUYS! Learn how to make love to a woman - to arouse her - to make her feel extraordinary - how to bring her to orgasm (repeatedly if possible). Learn the anatomy of women and learn how to master it all - become a lover!

As for your folks - they just want you to be happy. If you can find your happiness and they see that, they'll back off. Sadly, this something we all work on the entirety of our lives - we have to choose to be happy, to accept where we are and to bring ourselves up out of unhappy times. If you think you need some professional help finding your happiness, then get it and don't be embarrassed about it. However you do it, just do it. Get happy and when you feel not happy, accept it, feel it and then move forward and seek your happiness again. Now that I'm a parent, I get it. We just want our kids to be happy - and deep down, we're willing to accept whatever that is (within reason and with some decorum, of course - hahahaha).

Find your happiness, my good man. Learn to love yourself. Figure out what makes you happy sexually, emotionally and spiritually. Learn how to share that with a romantic partner and ROCK HER WORLD!!!

Peace Brother.
- Ed

 

[Mushroom9]

Your sexuality is 100% your own. It doesn't belong to your parents, your peers, your church, nor anyone else. All that matters is what you think. And feel.

Here's the good news, whatever your sexuality, it is a gift from God. If your penis functions properly, it is big enough. You don't have to be a porn star to have a happy sex life. You just have to love yourself and open yourself up to loving someone else & being loved.

Here's the bad news. That means you've got homework. You're never going to be happy in a relationship (or even in casual sex) until you're happy with yourself. From what you've said, sounds like you're a long way from that goal. You've got some work to do, accepting yourself.

Please live happily in the knowledge that you are a beloved child of God. No cultural stigmas about penis size, sexuality, weight or anything else can take that away from you.

If you're dying to solve that sexuality thing, the answer will be very clear if you answer the follow questions. What do you fantasize about? What springs into your mind involuntarily when you masturbate? Ignore what you think you "should" be fantasizing about. What really gets you going? The answers to those questions will point you toward your true sexual self. And that is the beginning of lifelong happiness.

 

[Uslidenme]

First your parents need therapy. They've made this about them and not about you. You do need to do something about your weight but you need to do it so you can respect yourself and for health reasons.

You are upsetting their applecart because you are interfering with their dreams for your future. Every parent has those dreams but whats not fair is when those dreams start to affect your reality in a negative way.
If you are living at home you need to move out so you can start placing boundaries.

When I was 21 everyone that I knew or most of the people that I knew were getting married and I was feeling very panicky about my life. By the time I was 27 all the people that had gotten married at 21 were divorced.

Stop putting that kind of pressure on yourself.