PART THREE: Celebrating the Hockey Championship

Discussion in 'Fictitious Stories' started by jjsuperbird, Jul 14, 2007.

  1. jjsuperbird

    jjsuperbird Member

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    I enjoy reading comments and opinions on the LPSG web site. I particularly like reading reactions from LPSG readers to my fiction writing… not just the publicly posted responses to my stories but the many private messages offering suggestions and feedback. Several LPSG members have made suggestions for stories, characters and situations; some of you will recognize yourselves or your suggestions in my stories.

    The most reaction I have received so far to my writing was for the Celebrating the Hockey Championship series. Lot’s of readers like the bi-curious nature of the story.

    Because of the reactions I have received to the Hockey stories in general, and due to one specific request in particular to build more on the bi-curious theme, I am shamelessly returning to this story in an attempt to illicit more reader response!

    Let me know what you think.

    For readers who might not recall, the first story in the series was set in a hockey arena, specifically in the home team’s locker. The boys had just won the championship and were celebrating in the showers. Here is the link to that story:

    http://www.lpsg.org/fictitious-stories/40013-celebrating-the-hockey-championship.html

    In Part two of the story the scene shifts to the local sports bar. Tobin and Wayne – our well endowed hockey heroes – hook up with a couple of hot, horny high school seniors. Cindy is a pretty, petite, high school gymnast who has a reputation as a bit of a size queen. She likes to ‘reward’ the well endowed hockey heroes after a successful game…

    Cindy’s cousin, Katrina, is visiting from Buffalo New York. She is a bit heavier than the pixie gymnast Cindy. Katrina, a bouncy brunette, has a pretty face and big tits. She is learning all about well endowed guys from her Canadian cousin.

    Throughout the hockey game, sitting in the stands together, Cindy pointed out to Katrina the various players and the relative sizes of their equipment. Cindy explained that Wayne, the team captain had the biggest dick on the team. At the local sports bar after the game Katrina gets to experience first hand Wayne’s huge eleven inch python. Here is the link to that story.

    http://www.lpsg.org/fictitious-stories/42311-part-two-celebrating-hockey-championship.html

    After some bump and grind on the dance floor and a quick blow job in the darkened booth at the back of the sports bar, Wayne suggests they all go over to Tobin’s house. Tobin’s parents are away for the weekend.

    In Part Three of the story we will learn what happens at Tobin’s house.
     
  2. jjsuperbird

    jjsuperbird Member

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    (this had to be split into several sections it is too long for one post)

    The four healthy horny young adults had several drinks with the other players at the sports bar in celebration of the team’s victory before they decided to go over to Tobin’s house.


    After telling her cousin all about who had the biggest dicks on the team, Cindy was ready for a good sweaty fuck with the two muscular well equipped hockey heroes. She was eager to get naked with Wayne and Tobin. She wanted to show her American cousin what real men were like in Canada.

    Katrina had already experienced her first taste of Wayne’s massive manhood in the darkened booth at the back of the sports bar. She was hoping to see what his teammate Tobin, the big beautiful muscled defenseman, had between his legs...

    Tobin’s parents were away for the weekend so they would have the house to themselves.

    Once they arrived at the house, Tobin offered them more drinks from his Dad’s liquor cabinet. He grabbed one of the expensive bottles of scotch and they all retired to the basement where there was a big screen TV and an expensive sound system.

    The four horny healthy young adults were in the basement with the lights down low giggling and exploring each other. The action was getting increasingly physical.

    The booze made them all very relaxed; their young bodies full of teenage hormones and alcohol were ready for hot action. Sex was in the air.

    Tobin’s big hands were all over Katrina’s full fleshy breasts. He moaned as he nuzzled into her chest on the leather couch. Tobin seemed drunk – more so than the others – and was getting a little sloppy kissing and licking all over Katrina’s big tits.

    Katrina managed to push the big defenseman down on the couch and climbed between his thick muscled thighs. She started rubbing her pussy against his hardening manhood in his jeans.

    Across the rec room on the big easy chair, petite Cindy was sitting on Wayne’s lap rubbing the denim material covering his bulging crotch and kissing his chest. She was stroking his semi-hard cock and making it swell down his leg.

    “Hey Csssssindy,” slurred Tobin, “come suck my dick. Wayne already had his dick sucked twice tonight.”

    “Fuck off Tobin” Wayne shouted across the darkened room as he stroked Cindy’s hair and pushed her down toward his swollen cock.

    “You already had your cock sucked by Cam and by Katrina. How many times do you want that fuckin’ pussy plow sucked?” laughed Tobin as Katrina continued to grind against his swollen dick and her tits pressed against his broad chest.

    Tobin wasn’t angry; he was just loud and loose from drinking his father’s scotch. He was trying to be funny “It’s fuckin my turn … you greedy horse cock …” he laughed.

    Katrina pulled back from the big muscular defenseman. “What are you talking about?”

    “I saw you at the bar … givin’ Wayne … a fuckin blow job” Tobin continued to knead her big tits as his words slurred a little and he struggled to speak clearly.

    “Who’s Cam?” asked Katrina choosing to ignore the reference to the blow job at the sports bar.

    “Oh fuck” drawled Tobin “Never mind. I was fuckin’ joking. Let’s just fuck.”


     
  3. jjsuperbird

    jjsuperbird Member

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    Cindy could tell Katrina was getting upset. If the situation wasn’t diffused quickly, she realized that Cindy might storm out.

    She had to think fast.

    “I got an idea. Why don’t you two hockey heroes give your two biggest fans a bit of a show?”

    “Yea, that’s it … let’s have a contest” continued Cindy. “The winner gets a blow job from both of us while the other has to watch.

    “Okay… I’m game” said Wayne, “What’s the contest?”

    “Right … first, take off your clothes and stand in the middle of the room.” Cindy instructed the two big hockey players. “We want to inspect the merchandise.

    Wayne liked the idea of showing off his hot hung cock to Cindy and Katrina. He dropped his pants and removed his t-shirt. Standing naked in the middle of the room, he flexed his muscles and did some poses for the girls.

    “Fuck man, I got more muscles in my little finger than that.” said Tobin as he raised himself off the couch.

    “You ladies want to see a real man?”

    With a little stagger and stumble, Tobin eventually got his shirt and pants off and struggled to make a few poses for the girls. He made his pectorals bounce on his chest and struck a double bicep poses. He too was proud of his muscular body but the alcohol was making it difficult for him to stand still.

    Even in his ungraceful drunken state, it was obvious that Tobin’s physique, its definition and size, was very impressive. Standing naked beside Wayne But Wayne He had a bigger cock. he was taller, his body thicker and his muscles more defined. had one advantage.

    His big red dick and full hairy balls were bigger than Tobin’s.

    Because Tobin had such large muscular thighs it created an optical illusion. Tobin’s sizable penis and balls looked smaller than they really were. On an average size guy, Tobin’s eight inch dick would be massive, but because of his muscular size and bulk his cock looked average in size.

    “Okay” said Cindy as she quickly tried to think what the contest should be. “I know… why don’t you try to make each other cum?”

    Katrina still seemed a little disgusted by the reference to Wayne getting a blow job from some asshole named Cam.

    “Cinnnddddy?” Katrina said with a whine in her voice. “You want them to jerk each other off?”

    “Well, let’s see who can shoot farther?” Cindy was thinking fast trying to make sure her cousin didn’t suddenly decide to bolt.

    “Fuck off” blurted Tobin “I’ll fuckin wrestle him naked but I ain’t fuckin jerkin’ that fuckin horse cock”

    Wayne smiled and blew a big air kiss in Tobin’s direction. Tobin lunged at his team mate.

    Within seconds the two big athletic naked boys were locking arms and wrestling. The muscles tensed and Cindy could see the lats on Tobin’s broad back flex and tighten as he tried to wrap himself around Wayne.

    Wayne was quicker and less drunk than Tobin so he was able to break out of the bear hug and push Tobin back. Wayne’s butt muscles tightened and his dick swung from side to side. Katrina watched the huge cock flop around as Wayne danced to avoid Tobin. She could hear it slap against the naked flesh of Wayne’s thighs.

    Tobin, a big smile across his face, came after his friend again. Wayne stood on the balls of his feet, his muscles tensed watching his friend teeter and sway from the booze.

    Tobin was trying to compose himself for another attack. He had a broad stupid grin on his face as he struggled to focus his eyes on Wayne.

    Katrina let out a short gasp as she watched Tobin’s big shoulders and weight of his massive chest slam against Wayne. They both dropped to the floor.

    “Fuck Tobin, your fuckin drunk.” Wayne pushed his friend off him and Tobin rolled over onto his back. Tobin was giving little resistance; the scotch was having an effect on his coordination.

    Wayne quickly got the upper hand. He proceeded to straddle Tobin’s massive chest and pinned the defenseman’s powerful shoulders to the floor. Wayne’s knees were pressing Tobin’s shoulders to the floor.

    Wayne, naked and breathing heavily, was straddling Tobin’s chest. His big eleven inch dick was literally slapping Tobin’s chin.

    Cindy had an idea. “Wayne! Hold him down. Katrina, let’s give Tobin a medical examination” she smiled at her cousin as she nodded toward Tobin’s dick hanging limp between his massive thighs.

    Wayne grabbed the shaft of his own dick and started slapping it against Tobin’s neck and chest while the two girls moved in to fondle and suck Tobin’s slowly rising cock.

    Tobin wasn’t resisting. His big naked body lay flat as the girls stroked his thighs and reached for his growing member. Their hands looked tiny against the muscular legs and growing dick of the defenseman.

    Katrina took the head of Tobin’s semi-hard cock in her mouth while Cindy licked his massive thighs and tightening balls.

    Tobin’s mouth opened and his eyes rolled back into his head. He was enjoying the attention from the two women.

    Wayne saw Tobin’s mouth open and had an idea. He proceeded to rub the head of his dick against Tobin’s chest and moved it toward his lips.

    The rough stubble of Tobin’s chin was sore on Wayne’s sensitive dick head.

    Tobin wasn’t resisting. Indeed he licked his lips and continued to open his mouth – it was and invitation to keep going.

    Wayne rose up on his knees. His massive fuck poll hung over Tobin’s face.

    The girls were now madly sucking and stroking Tobin’s shaft. They kissed and rubbed his cock. Tobin was fully erect and enjoying the attention from the two girls.

    Tobin reached up with his large muscled arms and put his hands on Wayne’s hard butt. He was actually pulling Wayne further up his chest so he could suck the head of Wayne’s big purple dick.



    I still have more work to do on the ending, but hope you like where this story is going. As always, suggestions, feedback and criticism are always welcome.

    Input from readers only makes it better!

    Hope you enjoy

    JJ
     
  4. jjsuperbird

    jjsuperbird Member

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    The girls were enjoying Tobin’s hefty balls and hard shaft. Cindy took his thick tool in her tiny hand. Jerking and squeezing she made the head of his poll big and red. Tobin began to ooze pre-cum out his piss hole.

    Katrina was down between Tobin’s huge thighs. She pressed her heavy breasts against his muscular legs while her tongue bathed his hairy balls.

    Tobin was enjoying the girls’ stimulation of his dick and balls, but he was also getting really excited with Wayne’s huge hot pulsing shaft rubbing against his lips. Wayne tried to shove the giant head into Tobin’s mouth, but he wasn’t at the right angle. He kept rubbing the big knob head against Tobin’s swollen red lips.

    Tobin couldn’t decide whether he should use his hands to help guide Wayne’s cock or reach down to jerk his own throbbing hard-on.

    By now, Wayne’s giant member was getting really hard … his balls were tightening and he could feel the cum starting to build in his loins.

    He spun off of Tobin’s massive chest and turned to face the two girls who were engrossed in bringing Tobin’s eight inches to orgasm.

    Wayne continued to beat his meat and watch as Tobin reached out with his muscular hairy arm to cup his team mate’s heavy balls. Wayne liked the feel of the hot palm of Tobin’s big hand cradling his ball sack while Wayne continued to jerk and jerk his eleven inch fuck shaft.

    Tobin began to tense… he could feel his balls tighten. Cindy, probably the best cock sucker in school, could feel Tobin was close.

    “You like that don’t you Tobin” she said as her little hands beat faster and faster.

    Tobin moaned and started to tighten his massive leg muscles. Katrina felt his thigh muscles get hard under her tits; she was in heaven. She continued to worship his balls and rubbed her hands up and down his thick thighs….

    Tobin felt her hot tongue on his balls and her hands and breasts on his legs.

    Then suddenly a rope of white cum shot out of the end of Tobin’s eight inch cannon. It hit Wayne on the chest. The second shot wasn’t as powerful; it landed in the middle of Tobin’s chest in a pool between his big pectoral muscles. Cindy, the little pixie bent down to catch the third and fourth pulses from Tobin’s manhood. She took the head in her mouth and sucked the last drops from Tobin's cock.

    Wayne, watching the petite gymnast suck his team mate’s pulsing dick began to feel his own cum travel up his impressive pussy pounder.

    Tobin opened his eyes just as Wayne shot his first wad. the huge red head of Wayne's eleven inch monster was pointed straight out toward the defenseman.

    A clump of thick white jizz spurted out and arched out onto Tobin’s chest. The two players’ cum shots were mixing together in a pool between the large pectoral muscles of the defenseman.

    It felt warm on his chest. Tobin smiled up at the captain of the team and rubbed the mix of cum all over his big muscles.

    I'm having a hard time writing a story that makes sense with four characters all in the action at once. I can't figure out how to have more than two or three at the most in one scene without getting confused. Any advice or suggestions? Do you want me to keep going or is this getting silly?
     
  5. millionman

    millionman Active Member

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    Well, my reccomendation would be to split the two couples up. The problem with telling a story about multiple partners at once is the description of the scenes and making it so that the reader can CLEARLY see in their mind what is going on. Usually this ends up looking like a hodge podge of skin and misplaced body parts, and can be very confusing to the reader and effect the quality of the story considerably. I think that you handled this particular scene well, although the bi-sexual aspect is sort of confusing because the question arises is it because of being curious or is it the alcohol? I'd say break it up a bit but you can always have a multiple partner scene that's not too detailed in the descriptions, or you could have the 2 guys on one girl and the other girl is off playing with herself as she watches. It's all in your imagination and how you see things, because ultimately it's your imagination on paper and how you see this playing out is really all that matters when all is said and done.
     
  6. jjsuperbird

    jjsuperbird Member

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    Hey Millionman,

    I was going through some of my old stories and just now realize that you responded to this one back in July. Sorry I didn't respond at the time. I was away on vacation in July and I guess the story got buried ...

    As we get back onto hockey season I might be inspired to revisit these characters, but for now I think I have exausted my imagination with them.

    I'm working on a couple of other ideas given to me by fellow members of LPSG.

    December is busy but hopefully I'll have something to share in the new year!

    Cheers

    JJ
     
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