Particularly unexpected effect of menstruation

[ManlyBanisters]

**TMI warning for those who find menstrual blood distasteful**

Not sure why I'm posting this, I guess it's cos in the end of the day you have to laugh at yourself, really, don't you.

OK - so I got my period this morning - I'm not a messy starter, got up went to the loo, there it was - no worries - tampon - get on with the day.

An hour later I go to the loo again and so change said tampon. Now, for reaons of plumbing, beyond boring, I can't flush my tampons, I put them in a bit of tissue and then into a sealed bin. So having extracted the tampon I commence this procedure, but I didn't notice how damned heavily the flow had been - into the tissue, tighten the bundle to chuck in the bin - BAM - fucker goes off like a water balloon. I swear I didn't squeeze it hard but there is blood fucking everywhere.

So I clean up the floor, and walls, and loo-side bin and the side of the fucking bath (over a meter away) with hot water and disinfectant - no worries - change my clothes, pain in the arse, I'd only just washed those jeans.

Doesn't really sound so bad, does it? No? Well think again - becuase it hit the fucking tile grout in about 9 places on the wall - and it doesn't wipe off - it stains. So I've just spent an hour this morning scraping out and regrouting a meter squared section of tiling because I'm a clumsy bitch!

Great! My ideal fucking morning...

I really am a dosey cow at this time of the month. Has anyone else done anything quite this stupid? (I doubt it somehow)

 

[dolfette]

i laughed my arse off reading that!

and here i was sulking of ruined knickers.

...grout is meant to be white you say? i think i need to clean the bathroom.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

i laughed my arse off reading that!

and here i was sulking of ruined knickers.

...grout is meant to be white you say? i think i need to clean the bathroom.

Well - I'm glad you got a giggle out if. :biggrin1:

It was kinda funny. I felt like that scene in Pulp Fiction where John Travolta accidentally shoots 'Marvin' in the head in the back of the car.

Just standing there for minute going What the FUCK just happen there?!?

 

[DC_DEEP]

Hydrogen peroxide does a pretty damned good job of getting blood (or other stains) out of grout (or your knickers, dolfette.) It can do some damage if left on too long, but it's much easier to work with than chlorine bleach.

Sorry you had such a Series of Unfortunate Events.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Hydrogen peroxide does a pretty damned good job of getting blood (or other stains) out of grout (or your knickers, dolfette.) It can do some damage if left on too long, but it's much easier to work with than chlorine bleach.

Sorry you had such a Series of Unfortunate Events.

Thanks DC - I'll remember to get some in next time I'm planning to fling bodily fluids about the bathroom :biggrin1:

I happened to have the grout to hand - it just seemed the quickest solution to strip it out and re-do.

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

I must say... I'm glad I didn't have any issues like that!

 

[ManlyBanisters]

I had a similar (well kinda) problem once after my ex beat the living daylights out of me. I went to the bathroom to clean myself up but started sneezing (like things weren't bad enough already) I covered the tiles behind the sink

He'd have killed me if he'd seen the mess so I cleaned it up and used white nail polish to cover the stains

Shit - sorry to have reminded you of that, K.

 

[Big Dreamer]

Hydrogen peroxide does a pretty damned good job of getting blood (or other stains) out of grout (or your knickers, dolfette.) It can do some damage if left on too long, but it's much easier to work with than chlorine bleach.

Sorry you had such a Series of Unfortunate Events.

It certainly makes being a man seem a little less challenging, doesn't it DC? I guess that's why we were born with slightly smaller brains than our female counterparts, as we seldom get tested in the way that ManlyB did.

I'll have mustard drop onto my shirt, then sit there like a dork for 15 minutes weighing my options.:redface:

 

[diamond]

It certainly makes being a man seem a little less challenging, doesn't it DC? I guess that's why we were born with slightly smaller brains than our female counterparts, as we seldom get tested in the way that ManlyB did.

I'll have mustard drop onto my shirt, then sit there like a dork for 15 minutes weighing my options.:redface:

LMAO, for some reason I got a really good visual of that!!!!

 

[DC_DEEP]

It certainly makes being a man seem a little less challenging, doesn't it DC? I guess that's why we were born with slightly smaller brains than our female counterparts, as we seldom get tested in the way that ManlyB did.

I'll have mustard drop onto my shirt, then sit there like a dork for 15 minutes weighing my options.:redface:

Well, mostly, yes.

ManlyB, I forgot to mention... I loved your opening disclaimer! Some people get so squeamish at the very mention of menses, but it doesn't bother me.

My best friend (other than my partner) is a woman, 5 years older than me. We've been very close since way back in 1974. She flew here two years ago for a visit, to go to the Cherry Blossom Festival, see some museums and galleries, etc. One evening, she came out of the loo, a bit embarrassed, and explained that she had "started earlier than expected", and that she had gotten a few drops on the rug. It turns out she was in the early stages of menopause (at the tender young age of 51) and her periods were not regular. She had a couple of "be prepared" tampons, but we had to go to the chemist to get some more. It didn't bother me, though, I just threw the rug in the washing machine, and that was the end of it.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Shit now I'm sorry for mentioning it.

Fuck - what are you sorry about - it's related. Never be sorry about mentioning shit like that - it's yours to mention how and when you want to - I just felt bad if I had put you on a downer that's all.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Well, mostly, yes.

ManlyB, I forgot to mention... I loved your opening disclaimer! Some people get so squeamish at the very mention of menses, but it doesn't bother me.

You're probably in the minority of men in not being bothered by menses.

I thought I'd better throw that in there - some people (women too, tho less so) just have a bad reaction to it. I don't why, really. It is what it is.

 

[snoozan]

My God.

The other day I was in my kitchen in a pair of capri pants talking to a friend. I was on the tail end of my period, so I was wearing a pad, and I guess it was overcome all of a sudden because I felt pretty much the same thing I felt when my water broke when I had my son. It wasn't water though. It was a massive outflow of chunky womanliness that ran down both legs and started pooling on the kitchen floor. That's never happened to me before. I went into the bathroom and it looked like I had just been slaughtered.

Fortunately the tiles got clean with some scrubbing.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

My God.

The other day I was in my kitchen in a pair of capri pants talking to a friend. I was on the tail end of my period, so I was wearing a pad, and I guess it was overcome all of a sudden because I felt pretty much the same thing I felt when my water broke when I had my son. It wasn't water though. It was a massive outflow of chunky womanliness that ran down both legs and started pooling on the kitchen floor. That's never happened to me before. I went into the bathroom and it looked like I had just been slaughtered.

Fortunately the tiles got clean with some scrubbing.

Oh poor snoozan - you win baby you win!

Sorry - I'm laughing my fucking ass off here but I really do feel for you.

'chunky womanliness' :lmao:

:kiss:

 

[No_Strings]

a massive outflow of chunky womanliness that ran down both legs and started pooling on the kitchen floor

uke: I'm never having sex again. At least not with you, our first time was good though, right Snoozie?

 

[ManlyBanisters]

uke: I'm never having sex again. At least not with you, our first time was good though, right Snoozie?

Have we turned you, you delicate flower? :tongue:

If so, that's a crying shame...

 

[No_Strings]

Have we turned you, you delicate flower? :tongue:

If so, that's a crying shame...

Too late! Now, where is novice_btm? *cracks whip*

What snoozan wrote did actually make me feel a little queasy - I'm off to bed. :redface:

 

[snoozan]

Oh poor snoozan - you win baby you win!

Sorry - I'm laughing my fucking ass off here but I really do feel for you.

'chunky womanliness' :lmao:

:kiss:

Oh, I don't know about that. The visual of you regrouting and scrubbing the bathroom in a fevered state looking like you slaughtered a suckling pig is a pretty goddamn good story.

As an aside to my story-- if it had happened 10 minutes later, I would have been talking to a real estate agent and not my friend.

uke: I'm never having sex again. At least not with you, our first time was good though, right Snoozie?

Hey! You saw the warning at the top of the thread! Oh, you'll change your mind honey, you just wait.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Oh, I don't know about that. The visual of you regrouting and scrubbing the bathroom in a fevered state looking like you slaughtered a suckling pig is a pretty goddamn good story.

As an aside to my story-- if it had happened 10 minutes later, I would have been talking to a real estate agent and not my friend.

Ooo, close call! I was lucky there was no one else about - I actually cleaned the bathroom after sticking my clothes in the machine - so I was just wearing a t-shirt and bra - there's a lovely image for you! I had jeans on again by the time I did the grouting tho'.

Hey! You saw the warning at the top of the thread! Oh, you'll change your mind honey, you just wait.

Damn right - and yes he will, after a little nap. Aw, bless :wink:

 

[bobabooey69]

I once walked into a blood splatter behind the waste bin in my bathroom, I was alarmed at first, wondering what had happened.

It seems like my ex had an accident and she tried cleaning everything up, but my limited bachelor pad cleaning supplies did not help.

When I asked her about it she seemed very embarrased, I didn't think it was a big deal, but it did shoot a pang of guilt through me that us guys have to deal with a lot less stuff than our significant others.