Partner uses porn. A lot. Should I worry?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by bigboi69, Nov 15, 2010.

  1. bigboi69

    bigboi69 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2010
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    London, UK
    Hi guys, I'm a long-time reader, but just recently decided to post. I have a relationship issue that I need some advice with. My longtime partner really loves to watch porn late at night after I go to bed. I'm also sure that he masturbates to this too, and I'm thinking it's almost nightly. We have a great relationship, love each other very much, but I feel like I'm missing out on sex a lot because he chooses to please himself instead of getting me involved. I love to use porn too, but every once in a while. We do have sex, though not as often as I want.

    I need advice. Should I just be happy that I have a great man and just deal with the fact that that's how sex is in the age of the internet? Or do I need to really take some action here. I feel very lucky otherwise and love him so much. Any friendly advice you guys can give?

    Thanks...
     
    #1 bigboi69, Nov 15, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2010
  2. petite

    petite New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,539
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    34
    Gender:
    Female
    I feel like it's a problem if it's interfering with your sex life. I use porn if he's not at home or asleep, but I wouldn't masturbate to porn when he's here if he can have sex with me and the only time I've ever made a fuss about his porn watching was when I felt like our sex life was dropping off and I was unhappy about it.

    Have you tried talking to him about it?
     
  3. bigboi69

    bigboi69 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2010
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    London, UK
    @petite,
    Yeah, I've mentioned it before. He told me that he always wants me to be honest with him, and I've really told him how I feel. I don't want to tell him that I know he's watching porn every night because I don't want to embarrass him or make him insecure that I'm judging. I want him to have a healthy way to explore his fantasies. Sometimes I feel like I'm over analyzing things and need to back off.

    Jolly good that these forums exist to talk to others. I would not feel comfortable discussing with family or friends. Thanks :smile:
     
  4. xX_Sarah_Xx

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2010
    Messages:
    478
    Albums:
    4
    Likes Received:
    127
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Belgium
    Verified:
    Photo
    Hmm... it's really something that you should bring up. There's no reason to be embarrassed when you watch porn and masturbate to it, if you're in a healthy relationship? Make it discussable. Show that you don't feel threatened by it, and tell him that you don't mind, but that you would mind it interfering with the sex life between the two of you. Because if it does, it has become a problem, and rightly bothers you.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted