My partner and I have had a rocky relationship for about 9 years, recently she has indicated that she now wants marriage and children, for many years she hasn't wanted those things but as we are both in our mid 30's she has decided that is what she wants now. My problem with this is that she has basically no respect for me or my wishes or feelings and does whatever she wants, whenever she wants and does not care if it affects me or not. She recently had an internet affar where she was sending explicit pictures via email and having phone sex with another guy. She lied and kept this secret for around 12months until it came out, but instead of being honest, she has just let dribbles of the truth out over the last 12months since it ended. Altho we were still having sex she was using sex toys while she was having the online affair, while I dont have a problem with sex toys she volenteered to thorw them out when I became aware of the affair. Since then she has bought more sex toys but kept them hidden from me (I found them one day looking for my grandfathers gold watch believe it or not) I asked her about the toys and she flatly said she doesnt have any and wasnt realy into them any more (since the affair) Over the last few months I have noticed that she is using them pretty much every day and she has had some bouts of thrush (I think she is using petroleum jelly as lube) and her pelvic floor has gotten kinda loose and sloppy (or so it seems to me) She has been complaining about thrush lately and at one stage I mentioned that non water based lube can cause it, she blushed and basically admitted to masturbating, now I dont have a problem with her using toys or masturbating if she needs to, but I feel like I cant trust her to be a wife and a mother if she is constantly hiding things from me. She started having a go at me about that her masturbating is nothing to do with me, and her affair came up and she let some more information leak out about what went on and that she was having cyber sex while using toys with more than just this one guy. She has not worked for 8 months and continually needs finatial support, she is erratic and her mood swings and anger at times is quite frightening. I just feel that if we get married and have children I will be mearly a sperm donor while she spends our money and gets off with some sex toys and random strangers over the internet. We have a relitivly ok sex life but I am having trouble with the concept of intercourse with her because of her loose vagina, constant battle with what seems to be self inflicted thrush by over masturbation and the slow leak of truth about things that are going on and I am slowly slipping into depression because she seems to respect a big plastic dick more than she respects me.. I know this sounds like a rant but I am seriously becomming affected by these issues and all I want to do is make her happy and have a happy life with her and have children in our lifes. FYI I am just on 6" and not sure about the girth, but I'm not super thick.. My partner has said that she lost respect for my manhood when a few times she has had trouble feeling me due to to much lubrication, she also says that she gets off more having a dildo fuck her than me inside her. Because we have been together for a long time and I have invested much in her and our relationship I'd like to try to work through this so a happy medium is found. What I have a problem with is if she is surpressing her needs to be able to get what she wants (marriage and children).. If thats the case I dont think our relationship will last. any help?