Past relationship present question

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by drgnma413, Jun 12, 2006.

  1. drgnma413

    drgnma413 New Member

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    Its a bit of a long story but ide appreciate any thoughts on this matter....

    I got into the dating scene way to late trying to save myself for a girl I thought was worthwhile. Well, I eventually found that girl. We talked on and off for about 2 weeks when I sealed the deal on Valentines Day with some creative displays. At this point, I must point out that I am a virgin and nearly 21. I finally found a woman that I was willing to do anything for and to and all I got is a story to tell. Anyways, it was about 3 days until katsucon(Its one of those conventions for anime and videogames) where the trouble began.

    Another thing that I feel the need to point out is the person that "set" us up had been feeding me info. One of the worst things was that my girlfriend was apparently afraid we were headed for sex too quickly which really caused me to think twice about this next piece here. During these three days I kept getting invited up to her apartment. Every time it felt like sex would have been involved. The first two I had an honest reason to say no(simply that if I hadn't said no then there really would have been no chance at time together much less sex for a long time thereafter), but the third I actually went up. I was looking for the cues the entire time. All I got was a lot of confusion, I decided it was time to make my first move. It was one of those move where the guy lays the girl down and lets nature take its course. There was a problem though... as much of her was giving me a yes...it felt like something within her was screaming no. I had to back off before I gave her something she would regret.

    On the forth day, we all went to Katsucon. Us and 4 other friends stayed in the same hotel room. Come night time, she immediately invited me into the bed with her which was a bit of a surprise. I must of misread things. I wanted to hold her but I kept getting the cold shoulder. Well things go on and I was blissfully unaware of the thoughts in her head. Katsucon ended and during the ride back she wouldn't even touch me. She just stared out the window thinking or pretended to sleep. A day later, she IM's me with the line "We need to talk". Count the letters and ya got three four letter words in one. Here is the thing....she doesn't give me an honest answer then I asked why she was breaking up with me. Its not until a few days later that she tells me "It was great for a while but then we just seemed to stop communicating." If irony wasn't a big enough shot to the nuts, the 2 of my friends who where the most involved in all this knew that my girlfriend was gona break up with me and decided that right there and then was a great time to stop giving me advice when it could have saved everything.

    Here's the thing. At some point a few weeks later, something struck me. I felt as if I had sex with her when she seemed really interested during those first 3 days then I would still be with her. Mabey thats just my lombido talkiing, but honestly my lombido got me a 7.5/10 as my first girlfriend. As of now, we are friends but I haven't spoken to her in a while. I feel there is still a chance for me provided she hasn't picked up a boyfriend. I just need to make the effort. Should I go for it? and what are your thoughts on the whole matter?
     
  2. latin_male83

    latin_male83 New Member

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    there should be more to your relationship then sex, if having sex would have solved things then you dont have a relationship and it would have eventually ended anyway with your regretting losing your virginity to her.

    my advice? if theres no real relationship move on, if there is and its not just a sex problem try working it out, but if its just sex, its not worth it, but thats just my opinion.
     
  3. hung

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    Greetings drgnma:

    This sounds a lot like what I went through in my youth in my early 20s. This sounds like a classic set up situation where whe wanted to see what you were all about. You maintained your values so she now dumps you.

    You have lost nothing. In fact, you have gained the experience from this encounter. Please consider moving on with your life. I know I did. I first married at 25.

    As you know, life is a series of experiences and we all learn from the events which happen in our lives.

    Good Fortune to you in your future.
     
  4. drgnma413

    drgnma413 New Member

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    Thnx for the replies. Thats really the decision that I came to. However short it was, I did enjoy the time I had. Of all the women I had been faced with during that time, she was the only one that ever struck me as someone worthwhile (which honestly has been quite rare), so I tend to come back to those memories every once in a while. Im not sure sex was the answer, but I think it could have given me some more time in her eyes. I've always had a much bigger impact with my actions than my words which it what it felt like she was looking for. The one thing that always bugs me was the timeframe in which it all happened. Of the week of actually being together, there was really very little time for us to be alone and communicate. After the initial 3 days she seemed to just shut down and stopped being receptive to anything:confused: .

    I think that I'll just stay friends with her. Whatever her reasons for dumping me, it seems she just wasn't ready for a guy like me. Should she change her mind then I get to see what I missed. If she doesn't then at least I got a friend outa it. Whatever happens I'll take the advice of the more experienced people here at LPSG. Thanks again all. :biggrin1:
     
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