1. B_AboveAverageAndre

    B_AboveAverageAndre New Member

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    Hey everyone, new to the site here and just wanted to hear some opinions on this lazy Sunday afternoon.

    Recently a good friend of mine found out he was not the father of his 2 year old daughter, which of course is proof that his girlfriend of 5 years has cheated on him. He has no idea what to do about this. I told him he should sever all ties with his girlfriend and her child. The problem is, he will be forced to pay child support, this entire situation is a mess and I feel bad for the guy.

    My question to you all is this, if put in a situation where you found out your significant other lied about a child being yours, how would you handle it? And what advice would you give if a friend was going threw something like this?
     
  2. Incocknito

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    I would leave her and her baby. Seems like a stupid law but surely if someone isn't a child's biological father they shouldn't have to pay child support?
     
  3. B_AboveAverageAndre

    B_AboveAverageAndre New Member

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    The thing is, he signed as the father on the birth certificate, so I think he will still have to pay. The sad thing is, he still wants to stay with both of them.
     
  4. B_Bjen2848

    B_Bjen2848 New Member

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    hospitals should start doing paternity tests as soon as the baby is born before the father signs a birth certificate ... it would make things a lot easier for everyone
     
  5. B_Bjen2848

    B_Bjen2848 New Member

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    oops, never answered the question lol

    yeah id dump her lying ass and the bastard child asap
     
  6. Incocknito

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    Would I still have to pay child support if the DNA test comes back negative? - Yahoo! Answers

    Basically look into the laws in your 'friend's' area and possibly seek legal advice. Maybe there is some sort of free helpline or something, or advice online.

    Found this:

    What are states doing about paternity and child support issues?

    The question of how long a man has to challenge paternity differs from state to state. Some states will hear evidence only within two years of a child's birth; others allow as much as five years. Ohio, Colorado, Iowa and Louisiana all have laws which allow men to be released from child support requirements if DNA testing proves they are not the biological father of the children named in support awards. Similar legislation has been introduced in New Jersey.

    In Maryland, in several cases involving unmarried men who had previously acknowledged paternity, the state's highest court has ruled that there is no time limit on their right to use genetic testing to prove non-paternity.

    From http://www.dna-geneticconnections.com/paternity.html
     
  7. wallyj84

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    He should most definitely sever all ties and get a lawyer to see if he can avoid paying child support.

    If this happened to me, I don't know what I would do. To me, this is the ultimate deception and totally unforgivable. I could not trust the woman who did that to me ever again and I doubt I could even tolerate being in the same room as her for extended periods of time. As for the kid, my relationship with that child would be irreversibly changed.

    I know some people like to say that there is more to being a father than blood and that paternity fraud should not change the experiences you had with that child up to the point where the fraud was revealed, but I personally could not see it that way. For me, any feelings I would have for the child would be at least partially based on the idea that the child was genetically mine and without that connection, our relationship would change dramatically. I couldn't feel as responsible to that child because it's just not my child.
     
  8. B_Bjen2848

    B_Bjen2848 New Member

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    what was his reason to get the baby tested?
     
  9. ManlyBanisters

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    Yes, because assuming all women are lying whores is the best way to move society forwards! Huzzah for you.

    :rolleyes:
     
  10. B_Bjen2848

    B_Bjen2848 New Member

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    huh? when did i say that all women are lying whores? and who said anything about society?
     
  11. B_AboveAverageAndre

    B_AboveAverageAndre New Member

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    We all reside in Michigan, it helps that they are not married, so he will have to find a good lawyer I guess.
     
  12. MsThang

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    I dont think there is any reason to call the child a bastard...not her fault her mother cheated. In fact, I feel sorry for these kids who don't know who their biological father is.
     
  13. B_AboveAverageAndre

    B_AboveAverageAndre New Member

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    The baby looked nothing like him, he and the mom both have very distinct features and the baby carried some of the mothers like expected, but none of the fathers. A few of our buddies and I have suspected that she has cheated on him from rumors and her behavior. She and her friends were trying to make us look like the bad guys for telling him that he should just test the baby to squash any doubt. He finally had the child tested because apparently she was a little overly defensive about the entire discussion when ever it was brought up. Sure enough, it wasn't his and seems like an empty shell of what he was before the incident.
     
  14. B_AboveAverageAndre

    B_AboveAverageAndre New Member

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    I don't want to sound rude, but technically the mother's baby is a "bastard", but you are 150% right it really is a shame for the kid, and any child who isn't sure or living in an unstable home. Just a horrible situation for anyone involved to be in.:frown1:
     
  15. mikewb75

    mikewb75 New Member

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    I work for family court in Michigan, and i've worked at Friend of the Court. The first question is...did you sign the affidavit of parentage at the hospital when the child was born. If you did, it can be very difficult to get that thrown out. You will have to hire an attorney to petition the court to have it thrown out. The general rule of thumb in Michigan is that they won't "bastardize" a child.

    If you split from her, the only way they will "come after" you for child support is if she seeks it out or she puts the child on some sort of state assistance (medicaid, food stamps, etc.).

    I have to state that this is not legal advice, more of a general overview of the procedures that the court uses. Good luck to you.
     
  16. wallyj84

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    I don't think he's saying that all women are lying whores, just that a paternity test done at birth wouldn't be a horrible idea because it would stop this kind of thing from happening.
     
  17. D_Woody Wilson

    D_Woody Wilson Account Disabled

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    Your friend has had his life shattered by this awful revelation. He needs his buddies now like never before.. Be supportive, be there when he needs you and offer some encouragement.. Better days ahead, a child of your own with a woman you can trust.. albeit not tomorrow, and with time and healing, it will happen one day. Contest the paternity regardless of the law. Deception is deception and a DA is most likely going to seek an injunction to that law to prosecute. You won't know till you consult a lawyer in your area familiar with your laws.
    Good luck to you and your friend!
     
  18. D_Gallalye Goodlolly

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    in the same vein, i can divorce a man who asks for a paternity test on a child we have together, after he gets his results which will definitely be positive......he'll no longer have a wife
     
  19. B_AboveAverageAndre

    B_AboveAverageAndre New Member

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    This is all we can do because he was shaken up pretty badly by all this. Thanks for the advice!
     
  20. B_AboveAverageAndre

    B_AboveAverageAndre New Member

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    Thanks for the advice!
     
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