Paternity Fraud

[MsThang]

I don't want to sound rude, but technically the mother's baby is a "bastard", but you are 150% right it really is a shame for the kid, and any child who isn't sure or living in an unstable home. Just a horrible situation for anyone involved to be in.:frown1:

I know the definititon of bastard I just don't like how it is used to punish a child for the sins of the parent. Unfortunately, I have heard this story before just with different characters.

 

[B_Bjen2848]

I don't think he's saying that all women are lying whores, just that a paternity test done at birth wouldn't be a horrible idea because it would stop this kind of thing from happening.

^this

 

[B_Bjen2848]

in the same vein, i can divorce a man who asks for a paternity test on a child we have together, after he gets his results which will definitely be positive......he'll no longer have a wife

you would end it with a guy just for asking for a paternity test? i would understand the initial frustration for lack of him trusting you but isnt that a bit much? that would be like me ending it with a girl for asking to see my cell phone

you have to understand a guy's POV in a sitch like this, a man will never really know if he is the biological father unless there is a dna test. it is always certain who the mother is

 

[B_AboveAverageAndre]

I know the definititon of bastard I just don't like how it is used to punish a child for the sins of the parent. Unfortunately, I have heard this story before just with different characters.

It really is a shame, it is as if the Maury show has become reality. The worst part is, she reacted the same way as a previous poster said she would act. She refused to speak to him when he went to get the child tested, expecting him to come crawling back to her door step and using the relationship as a weapon for him not to test the kid. Now that he knows the kid isn't his, she completely did a 180 and is begging him to stay. He's actually considering going back to her and raising the child because his heart is too kind, we're trying our best to get him to think rationally and not emotionally because she has caused him so much trouble excluding this bomb of bad news in the past.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

you would end it with a guy just for asking for a paternity test? i would understand the initial frustration for lack of him trusting you but isnt that a bit much? that would be like me ending it with a girl for asking to see my cell phone

'just for asking for a paternity test' = just saying 'I don't trust you, I think you could well be the kind of woman who would not only cheat on me but would be stupid enough to get pregnant while cheating on me AND be duplicitous and cold enough to try to pass another man's child off as mine.'

Yeah, I think I'd dump that sorry fuck-wit, too.

 

[B_jeepguy2]

He should dump her immediately. Since he is not married to her and she will have to sue him for child support. Since she knows he has a DNA test proving the child is not his more than likely she won't bother...or will go after the REAL father.

 

[B_AboveAverageAndre]

'just for asking for a paternity test' = just saying 'I don't trust you, I think you could well be the kind of woman who would not only cheat on me but would be stupid enough to get pregnant while cheating on me AND be duplicitous and cold enough to try to pass another man's child off as mine.'

Yeah, I think I'd dump that sorry fuck-wit, too.

Interesting, so if you were my friends girl friend, you would dump him when he asked to get a paternity test?

 

[AlteredEgo]

'just for asking for a paternity test' = just saying 'I don't trust you, I think you could well be the kind of woman who would not only cheat on me but would be stupid enough to get pregnant while cheating on me AND be duplicitous and cold enough to try to pass another man's child off as mine.'

Yeah, I think I'd dump that sorry fuck-wit, too.

Yeah, my future progeny and I do not need that kind of bullshit. I am perfectly capable of supporting a child on my own in that instance, though if the grandparents and aunt still wanted to participate I would not stand in their way.

On the other hand, while I would object to my man asking me for a paternity test, I would not object to customary, legally-required testing. It is totally different if Big Brother wants to make sure all of my paperwork is accurate.

With regard to the OP, I would not ever advocate abandoning that child. He is the only father she knows. Children always come before adults, and depending upon what state issued that birth record, he is going to be legally responsible for her financial support anyway. He might as well continue raising her, if only to help prevent her turning into a loser like her mother. The world needs fewer women like her anyway. The last thing the world needs is her raising children on her own.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Interesting, so if you were my friends girl friend, you would dump him when he asked to get a paternity test?

I would never be in that position because I'd never try to pass one man's child off as another's.

I'm not saying the women who actually do this aren't cunts.

I'm saying that asking for a paternity test as a matter of course, as suggested by other posters, is unreasonable.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Interesting, so if you were my friends girl friend, you would dump him when he asked to get a paternity test?

The difference between Manly and I, and your friend's girlfriend, is your friend's girl actually is the kind of woman who would not only cheat on someone but would be stupid enough to get pregnant while cheating on someone AND be duplicitous and cold enough to try to pass another man's child off as his. If she leaves at that point, it isn't a loss. If either of us leaves at that point, it still isn't a loss because he should not settle down with any woman he doesn't trust, even if that woman is as trustworthy and awesome as ManlyB or I.

 

[B_AboveAverageAndre]

He should dump her immediately. Since he is not married to her and she will have to sue him for child support. Since she knows he has a DNA test proving the child is not his more than likely she won't bother...or will go after the REAL father.

This is what we are all telling him, plus we all bring up the past drama she has caused. Also, some more information about him, he has a very kind heart and sometimes we tease him for being too nice in some situations. When it comes to girls, he has always been a bit of a doormat. And the baby's mother's friends are using this against him by trying to guilt him to stick with the woman for the kids sake. They've called him every name in the book and telling everyone he is being a dead beat dad. This probably gets him more upset than the initial pain of the deception because he has already made an emotional connection to his girl friends daughter.

 

[D_Ben Twilly]

All babies who have a father named on the birth certificate should be paternity tested at birth. Paternity fraud is too easy to commit and too harmful to the victims. The reason it should be standard procedure is that some men, like Andre’s friend, will not suspect they’re being screwed and thus have no reason to order the test themselves… at least not until it’s too late to rectify it because of the law many states have which says that if a man has ever at any point accepted paternal responsibility, he is obligated until the child is 18 regardless of what comes out later. Another reason is men like cybercurious’ husband, who can’t request proof even if he does suspect. As usual in today’s social and legal climate, men are over a barrel with few options for protecting themselves or being compensated when abused. If I choose to get married, I will have a prenuptual contract guaranteeing that any children born of the union will be tested for my paternity.
This does not accuse all women of being lying whores. It protects men, who are highly vulnerable in and to this situation, from the minority of women who are. Good girls have nothing to hide, so there's no reason to be disturbed by this suggestion.
As for paternity being about more than blood. That is, of course, true, but as a legal professional, I can tell you the law does not deal in feelings and the value of what goes on in your heart. It deals with who is responsible for a situation and what they owe. Any adult can love any child as their own, but that is not the law's affair.

 

[B_AboveAverageAndre]

The difference between Manly and I, and your friend's girlfriend, is your friend's girl actually is the kind of woman who would not only cheat on someone but would be stupid enough to get pregnant while cheating on someone AND be duplicitous and cold enough to try to pass another man's child off as his. If she leaves at that point, it isn't a loss. If either of us leaves at that point, it still isn't a loss because he should not settle down with any woman he doesn't trust, even if that woman is as trustworthy and awesome as ManlyB or I.

Fair enough, I believe both of you :redface:. To play devil's advocate, you can't really tell if a woman is that kind of woman unless you find out for sure. On the other hand, if you are that bad at guaging a potential mother for your child's character, than that person needs to get help. Knowing the way this woman is, the only person surprised about any of this was my friend, it was as if he were completely blind. And if it weren't for us, he would still be living in denial.

 

[D_Ben Twilly]

On the other hand, if you are that bad at guaging a potential mother for your child's character, than that person needs to get help.

I disagree. When a woman files for child support from a deadbeat, no one tells her that it's her problem because she was bad at gauging the character of a potential father for her child.

 

[B_AboveAverageAndre]

All babies who have a father named on the birth certificate should be paternity tested at birth. Paternity fraud is too easy to commit and too harmful to the victims. The reason it should be standard procedure is that some men, like Andre’s friend, will not suspect they’re being screwed and thus have no reason to order the test themselves… at least not until it’s too late to rectify it because of the law many states have which says that if a man has ever at any point accepted paternal responsibility, he is obligated until the child is 18 regardless of what comes out later. Another reason is men like cybercurious’ husband, who can’t request proof even if he does suspect. As usual in today’s social and legal climate, men are over a barrel with few options for protecting themselves or being compensated when abused. If I choose to get married, I will have a prenuptual contract guaranteeing that any children born of the union will be tested for my paternity.
This does not accuse all women of being lying whores. It protects men, who are highly vulnerable in and to this situation, from the minority of women who are. Good girls have nothing to hide, so there's no reason to be disturbed by this suggestion.
As for paternity being about more than blood. That is, of course, true, but as a legal professional, I can tell you the law does not deal in feelings and the value of what goes on in your heart. It deals with who is responsible for a situation and what they owe. Any adult can love any child as their own, but that is not the law's affair.

That sounds like a good idea, if the father finds out from day one that the child is not his, he can make a clear informed decision on how to handle the situation before any other emotional bonds are formed with the child.

 

[B_AboveAverageAndre]

I disagree. When a woman files for child support from a deadbeat, no one tells her that it's her problem because she was bad at gauging the character of a potential father for her child.

True.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Fair enough, I believe both of you :redface:. To play devil's advocate, you can't really tell if a woman is that kind of woman unless you find out for sure. On the other hand, if you are that bad at guaging a potential mother for your child's character, than that person needs to get help. Knowing the way this woman is, the only person surprised about any of this was my friend, it was as if he were completely blind. And if it weren't for us, he would still be living in denial.

If you can't really tell, and require proof, I refer you back to my post in which I wrote that you do not need to be with a woman you do not absolutely trust. It would therefore still be no loss if she left. Me? I don't trust anyone who does not trust me.

Good news for your friend. MI law is not really on his side, but the court of appeals doesn't seem to care. He needs a halfway-decent attorney as soon as possible. How fast can he get up the retainer? The sooner, the better.

Legal father allowed to disestablish paternity and end child support

 

[B_AboveAverageAndre]

Good news for your friend. MI law is not really on his side, but the court of appeals doesn't seem to care. He needs a halfway-decent attorney as soon as possible. How fast can he get up the retainer? The sooner, the better.

Legal father allowed to disestablish paternity and end child support

Before he makes any major decisions, he did promise me to at least speak to an attorney. He has a well paying job so seeing a decent one would not be an issue, the only issue is keeping his emotions in check at this point.

 

[D_Ben Twilly]

If you can't really tell, and require proof, I refer you back to my post in which I wrote that you do not need to be with a woman you do not absolutely trust. It would therefore still be no loss if she left. Me? I don't trust anyone who does not trust me.

The problem here is that some women abuse the trust given to them by the men they're with. The lesson isn't, "If you trust someone, karma will protect you." It is, "No matter how much you trust someone, you never know what they're capable of until they do it, and on something this big it's better to verify that your trust was well-founded."

 

[D_Ben Twilly]

He has a well paying job

Explains why the bitch didn't admit it, doesn't it?