Paternity Fraud

[D_Ben Twilly]

He had a bit of a harder time attracting women when we were younger since he is seen by women as the "safe" relationship, father figure guy.

How true. All the girls want the bad boy, but those who mature into women realize there are more important things than the badass factor.

 

[B_AboveAverageAndre]

The whole situation is crappy, but as far as the child is concerned that's her Father. I don't see how anyone can raise a child and walk away from it. Punishing the child isn't fair. If he chooses to stay with the Mother then that's his business, but I would consider the child mine if I were in his shoes and fight for her if I decided to leave the Mother.

It really is :frown1: and we all are trying to steer him in the right direction. The thing is, he told us that he can't even look at her (the child) the same anymore. He says just looking at her brings up and reminds him of too much pain that her mother has caused. It's a shame that such an innocent being can stir up such strong emotions with out even knowing what is going on around her.

 

[B_jeepguy2]

Oh, and if you fuck a woman, you are consenting to father children she does not terminate as fetuses. Maybe it isn't fair, but you already know that, and can always choose not to fuck her.

This is one reason I generally choose to fuck dudes...among others. LOL

 

[B_AboveAverageAndre]

i would feel devestated, like anyone with a half functioning heart, but i am not going to invest that much time on a child that's forced upon me ... it might not be the "right" thing to do, but who is to judge? what if the real father came along and wanted custody even though i wanted to stay? i think that would hurt even more ...

i would rather spend my emotions, time, effort raising a child etc. on a kid that actually has part of me in it (unless of course, i decided to adopt)

let me ask you a question, if a man were to rape a woman and she became pregnant after that horrible incident, would you call her a robot for aborting the child? when a man forces a woman to have their child against her will, that is called rape, when a woman tries to forces a child against a mans will, they have to pay child support ...

Never would have thought of it this way since I have never seen anyone deal with Paternity Fraud so close to me until this week, but I can say that both reactions are very similar. I remember a classmate of mine way back in highschool who was sexually abused had a very bad reaction to the event. Both are very devastating and I could say that cheating and passing on a child to a man that isn't his, but to make him believe is his might be one of the few things in this world that is equally as evil as rape. Not just for the "father", but for the child involved as well. I would be hurt a great deal if I were to find out the man I knew as my father all my life was really not my biological dad. Also, there is a man out there who potentially is completely clueless that he has a child in this world.

 

[B_AboveAverageAndre]

As I said, a hospital or government agency asking me to do it is one thing. My man asking me? Fuck that asshole.

I understand the notion of being upset for him not fully trusting you, but 30% is really high. I had no idea! While I do not have any kids now this would make me want to have a test. Not because I do not trust my lady, but because of the high numbers suggesting fathers are not as sure as they think they are. If she would break up with me over something that isn't that much of a burdon and she knows how important it is. Than that just shows her lack of empathy. Blindly trusting anything is very dangerous, in any situation. Usually the only people who are so against full transperancy in something like that are trying to hide something.

 

[B_AboveAverageAndre]

If you all were in charge, how would you try to fix the system so the number of paternity frauds lowered?

 

[AlteredEgo]

I understand the notion of being upset for him not fully trusting you, but 30% is really high. I had no idea! While I do not have any kids now this would make me want to have a test. Not because I do not trust my lady, but because of the high numbers suggesting fathers are not as sure as they think they are. If she would break up with me over something that isn't that much of a burdon and she knows how important it is. Than that just shows her lack of empathy. Blindly trusting anything is very dangerous, in any situation. Usually the only people who are so against full transperancy in something like that are trying to hide something.

Yeah. If my dude ever asked me to prove paternity, he'd have to sue me. Our child and I would vanish before his eyes. I really do not trust people who do not trust me.

This is one reason I generally choose to fuck dudes...among others. LOL

Don't blame ya. That's just responsible family planning. lol:wink:

umm ...

how is that weird and unrelated? both are being forced in a situation to raise a child they did not intend on raising

and the rest youre just rambling and ranting ... what do you have against me in comparison to the other men on this thread who said the same thing as me? i think every guy here said they would not raise the child or stay with the woman if they were in the OP's friends situation, yet you want to attack me? and im the crazy one?

Um... they are not parallel. How is a fetus comparable to a two year-old? Whom did I fail to "attack" for making this stupid comparison?

 

[D_Ben Twilly]

Yeah. If my dude ever asked me to prove paternity, he'd have to sue me. Our child and I would vanish before his eyes. I really do not trust people who do not trust me.

Oh, please. Just TRY vanishing with someone's child without even saying where you're going. For a minute there, I thought maybe you knew anything about family law, but I see now that you do not.

 

[B_RedDude]

Fuck that manipulative dishonest bullshit.

Morally he doesn't owe the mother or the child a goddamned thing.
It's the mother's child and her responsibilty.

I'm not in a position to comment on his specific legal obligations, but he should do everything legally possible to avoid having any financial obligation to support the child if does not want to. He is a victim in this situation and nothing else.

And the baby's mother's friends are using this against him by trying to guilt him to stick with the woman for the kids sake. They've called him every name in the book and telling everyone he is being a dead beat dad.

 

[hoggindaz]

AlteredEgo you have a viewpoint that is emotionallly charged and logically lacking.

I have children, and from you view i assume that you either do as well or are planning to.

I wont argue with emotional rants, (assuming) you are a woman, you are not biologically programmed to understand the Disgust and Anger a situation like this causes a man. therefore you will never "feel" deep down the disgust and rage this evokes in a man, simply because:


barring adoption, A woman will always raise her own child, and regardless of the father, that child will share 50% of her genetic material. It will be her child whether she is a single mother, whether she has the same dad or whether she is raising it with another man.

In a true nuclear family, both parents are raising a child that is 50% theirs genetically

If a man is raising his wives child who was impregnated by another man, he is raising a child that is 0% his genetically. he is raising two completely foreign peoples child. Even worse, he is convinced that it is his child so he will work, provide, defend and care for it as if it were his own, when in fact it has 0% relation to him. In a sense he has been genetically assassinated and replaced by a complete stranger without him knowing about it.

The only way a woman could experience this same nightmare would be if her baby was killed at birth without her knowing and she was given a complete strangers baby and was then tricked to think it was her own. would you still feel an obligation to raise that child if you found out about what happened 3 years in the future?

 

[Charles Finn]

but this is a very emotional issue
do what you will to her but do not punish the child
I have some idea of what she the child may be going through pvt me if you want the whole story

 

[B_RedDude]

The statement below is irrelevant anyway, but if he's out of the picture at the age of two, she'll barely, if at all, remember him when she's older.

The fact is that children often suffer for the fuck ups of their parents. It's not fair to saddle with the burden a third party who is truly not responsible for the situation.

...but as far as the child is concerned that's her Father.

 

[B_Bjen2848]

Um... they are not parallel. How is a fetus comparable to a two year-old? Whom did I fail to "attack" for making this stupid comparison?

you're attacking me by putting words in my mouth, and i never said it was parallel, im not claiming that, but all i am saying is that being forced in a situation where the woman has to choose to raise a child against her will is called rape

when the genders are reversed in a similar fashion, the guy not only is expected by society to raise the kid as if it is his, but he will have to pay child support, that is ridiculous

 

[MsThang]

For the crusaders for women's rights:

Ask yourself this, if you can:

Which is worse?

Asking an adult woman for a paternity test (when in 70% of cases women know who the father is and don't lie about it; 30% do).

OR

Having a child grow up not knowing who its father is, or being told lies about who its father is? Now I am not a psychologist but I think the psychological impact of that would be very damaging to a child and adolescent, etc as the child grows.

Whereas asking a grown woman to have a little prick in her arm is nothing. If she's having a baby she should be used to little pricks anyway.

Most parents would say they put their children first. Mandatory DNA testing is just another way of putting your child first. I don't see anything wrong with that.

I do see a lot wrong with paternity fraud, its one of the worst things a mother can do. Especially if she lies to the child as well.

It is the worst thing that a mother can do to her child. And a lot of people are saying that he should still be there for the child because he is the only father the child knows. If the child was 5 or 8, etc. then yes I would say it would be devastating for the child to lose her father but the baby is 2 years old, in a year she won't even remember him. I think that he should speak to an attorney to make sure he is not financially responsible for the child. Then if he still wants to provide for her that is his option but nota court mandated order. The truth is that his relationship with this woman is over. He may be nice and she is trying to sweet talk him but once that trust is gone it is inevitable that the relationship is going to end.

 

[B_Bjen2848]

Yeah. If my dude ever asked me to prove paternity, he'd have to sue me. Our child and I would vanish before his eyes. I really do not trust people who do not trust me.

now if a father were to "vanish" from the mother, he would be a dead beat loser...

 

[MsThang]

Definition: Bastard


A child whose birth lacks legal legitimacy—that is, one born to a woman and a man who are not legally married

and obviously the mother in question is not married to the father and we can only hope that she knows who the father is

 

[MsThang]

YouTube - ‪Maury Show - Black kid with white parents paternity test‬‏

I don't want to be mean but this guy was really stupid. Unless someone had a black ancestor in their family tree how could he think that was his child? The worst part is that this woman not only cheated on him, fooled him into believing the baby was his son but then goes on national tv to crush and humiliate him. Talk about a bitch.

 

[hoggindaz]

its the mother putting the guy in that position in the first place, she knows what the truth is, she is just a parasitic bitch trying to get a free ride.

and for the women who said they wouldn't take a paternity test if they had a kid,

that says alot about you...

draw your won conclusions.

 

[AlteredEgo]

now if a father were to "vanish" from the mother, he would be a dead beat loser...

Yeah, because he wouldn't be meeting his responsibility to the child when no one is stopping him from doing so. If the mother vanishes, well, he'd have to go on ahead and sue to prove he even should have any responsibility to that child. Frankly, if my dude had doubts, he would have no more responsibility here. If he would want that to change, let him petition the courts. Meanwhile, I have never had any difficulty meeting nice men. My child could be raised with me by someone who trusts me more. I'm trustworthy. My experience had been that skeptical people are not.

 

[B_Bjen2848]

I'm trustworthy. My experience had been that skeptical people are not.

my experience had been that people who are so hell bent on doing whatever it takes and throwing hissy fits and making childish, insane decisions (walking out on a guys life with his potential child for asking for something that should not be a big deal if both parties are being 100% honest) are not trustworthy either

seriously why would that be a big deal to you (or any other woman who cares to offer her opinion) for a man to ask for a paternity test... it does not mean he doesn't trust you, he just wants to verify

i highly doubt anyone here has ever blindly trusted anything ... im in a relationship right now ... every once in a while, my girl would like to look at my phone, yeah she might not trust me 10000000%, but i have nothing to hide so i have no problem letter her look at it ... just as long as she is willing to do the same for me if i were to ever ask for verification on something ... as humans, we have gut instincts, if something even comes off as a slight tiny bit of a question, wouldn't you want to squash it before it even grows into a potential problem? people dont deserve trust, they earn it ... with that being said, why would a woman be so anti getting a kid tested? if she is faithful, if she has nothing to hide, it shouldnt be a big deal ... a man can trust his woman 99.9999% and thats all you can really trust someone else with out verification

with all that being said, that just shows how low of a woman (if you really are one, no way for me to verify :tongue you are to not understand how important it would be for a man to raise a child he KNOWS is his, and not blindly guessing on the hope that shes a good person... because anyone who has ever been backstabbed before (everyone has at one point or another) knows that it was a person you trust that backstabbed you, so you wouldn't suspect them of being capable of backstabbing you until it is too late (DUHH)