Paternity Fraud

D_Gallalye Goodlolly

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let me ask you this, have you ever blindly trusted ... anything? if so, you are a fool

if you haven't, have you ever investigated that gut feeling? even if it was something small?

im sure youve been in a relationship before ... have you ever checked on your guy with anything? or do you just believe everything he said?

and when you did check on him, did he flip a shit and leave you? (if he did, then he was hiding something and turned it on you before you could catch him in something)

humans lie, so to think it is so far fetched that a woman would lie about who the father is, isn't that crazy of an idea (30% men would agree with me)

he might just have a smmall gut feeling, it doesnt mean you are untrustworthy, it doesnt mean he doesnt trust you .. he just wants verification

again, idk why it would be such a big deal for anyone to give someone else you care about verification ... especially something that important ... youre lack of empathy shows what type of person you are
like i said no use arguing back and forth.The type of person I am knows not to accept people who need to verify everything I tell them.
 

D_Gallalye Goodlolly

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yeup, everyone is disease free, everyone tells the truth, every time .. if i am about to have a one night stand with someone i met 27 minutes before the moment we hopped in the sack and she asks me to use a condom, i will be very upset that she would think i would ever do something so mean (seriously, look how trust worthy i am! seriously why would that prick loser douche of a woman even ask!?! people these days! smh) like give her a disease, i would kick her out of her own bedroom and let her sit outside and let her think about what painful emotional dramam i just went through ...

same thinking goes for everything ... if i sell my younger brother my car, he had better appreciate my kind gesture ... if he even asks about the workings of the car, then i will just take his money and drive my car home ... who cares if there is only 3 wheels and the exhaust pipe is taped on top of the broken sun roon? im his brother, he should blindly trust that the car i am selling is fine ... so what if there is fire coming out if the radio, its his fault for being my brother in the first place and if he finds out the car is a piece of shit, oh well he should fix the car and make it nice as if it were a mercedes, so what if the law says i can take my car back whenever i want (after the car is fixed of course) because it legally has my name under the insurance, he is morally obligated to do so ... and he should trust me dammit!

sounds reasonable right? lol

:eek::rolleyes::biggrin1:
are u thick??????????????????????!!!!!!!!we are talking about someone I know very well. not someone i just met.
 

ConstantComment

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IF he wants to stay, maybe he should legally adopt the child. Then the mother can't take away his privilege to see the child (since it''s not quite a right, right now.)
 

fire77

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If I found out my son wasn't mine it would tear me apart inside, but there is no way I could just sever all ties and stop paying child support. Regardless of blood and DNA he is my son and I will always love him and treat him as my son.

I could never leave him nor would I stop paying paying child support and deprive him of a proper upbringing, which a steady financial situation would help aid.


Nicely said ..

The child didn't commit any of this and shouldn't be punished for it.
 

Over-reaching

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Yes it would be a problem. That man would be a fool to go back to that woman. The woman cannot be trusted and the child is not his responsibility. If he goes back to her then he is giving her permission to do this kind of thing again, and you can bet your life that she will.

This man needs to find a woman who respects him and start a family with her; not continue the lie he has been living.
But as I say, he might well love the little girl: people do sometimes love children that are not their own biologically. He might also still love his girlfriend. It so, I think those feeling ought to factor strongly in what he does. It's easy enough for us to pontificate as if the situation is cut and dried, but life is frequently not as simple in practice as we might like it to be i theory.
 

wallyj84

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But as I say, he might well love the little girl: people do sometimes love children that are not their own biologically. He might also still love his girlfriend. It so, I think those feeling ought to factor strongly in what he does. It's easy enough for us to pontificate as if the situation is cut and dried, but life is frequently not as simple in practice as we might like it to be i theory.

At the end of the day it is his choice and if he wants to go back to her, he should. But, going back to her will have a negative affect on men everywhere because he's basically telling that woman, and any woman who hears his story, that tricking one man into raising another man's child is okay.

Really, if he goes back to this woman, then she wins. I know that sounds small minded and petty, but it's true. She wins because she got to have the child she wanted and have that child raised in the environment that she wanted. She got the best of both worlds and she has learned that she can do it again if she pleases. This guy on the other hand has nothing. If he doesn't have children of his own, then he is a loser in the game of evolution because everything that he is, his genetic code, will die with him; while that other man gets to live on in the daughter.

He is being conned. Now that he knows the con he should, if only for the benefit of the next man who might fall prey to this bullshit, cut all ties with that woman and child. He shouldn't listen to that self serving BS that the women in this thread have been spouting such as, "you can't hurt the child" or "it doesn't change your time together." That's all bullshit.
 

D_Madam_Ovary

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At the end of the day it is his choice and if he wants to go back to her, he should. But, going back to her will have a negative affect on men everywhere because he's basically telling that woman, and any woman who hears his story, that tricking one man into raising another man's child is okay.

Really, if he goes back to this woman, then she wins. I know that sounds small minded and petty, but it's true. She wins because she got to have the child she wanted and have that child raised in the environment that she wanted. She got the best of both worlds and she has learned that she can do it again if she pleases. This guy on the other hand has nothing. If he doesn't have children of his own, then he is a loser in the game of evolution because everything that he is, his genetic code, will die with him; while that other man gets to live on in the daughter.

He is being conned. Now that he knows the con he should, if only for the benefit of the next man who might fall prey to this bullshit, cut all ties with that woman and child. He shouldn't listen to that self serving BS that the women in this thread have been spouting such as, "you can't hurt the child" or "it doesn't change your time together." That's all bullshit.

This thread is very emotive, but the poor guy is under no obligation to make a stand for men everywhere.

He has found himself in an absolutely horrendous situation - not of his own making and now needs only to consider what will make him happy without the wants/expectations of his gf/friends/the world at large weighing down on him.

His gf was 100% wrong in her actions no doubt, but the guy must feel as though he has gone through a bereavement. He has been through enough and I just hope that if he decides he can get over this and wants to keep what he considers to be his family that his friends are as willing to be supportive of that decision as they were of cutting off the gf and baby. It's not for her - it's for him.

I can't help but think that the involvement of others has made the situation gather momentum and that the OPs friend may feel backed into a corner because of everyone else's reactions.

This story breaks my heart.
 

FuzzyKen

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There is no simple answer on this one. To me personally the legality would be somewhat dependent on evidence of deliberate deception and a deliberate intention to defraud. I would tend to agree that a genetic test at birth done automatically by the state or jurisdiction would be a good thing and it would prevent deception. I can see circumstances where an accident could happen and innocent error could be the cause and there are definitely circumstances where deliberate deception could happen as well.

To me the intent would have to be the defining thing. It would also be relevant if there was marital infidelity involved. If one is simply dating an individual and becomes pregnant not knowing who the Father is, while having intercourse with multiple partners this is one thing. If there was a relationship defined as a "marriage" in the picture and infidelity in the Marriage was a factor I personally would dump both the Mother and Child into the cruel world. In fact it would be in my eyes grounds to legally end the relationship and disqualify me as "Father".
 

AlteredEgo

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I am dismayed by how many people shut off their phony, useless love for a child just because (after years of supposedly loving them) they discover they were not born of their genes. That isn't love, and not only would the hypothetical child be better off with those individual, but I would venture all dating pools, and perhaps society would be better off without them as well.
 

Over-reaching

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Really, if he goes back to this woman, then she wins. I know that sounds small minded and petty, but it's true. She wins because she got to have the child she wanted and have that child raised in the environment that she wanted. She got the best of both worlds and she has learned that she can do it again if she pleases. This guy on the other hand has nothing. If he doesn't have children of his own, then he is a loser in the game of evolution because everything that he is, his genetic code, will die with him; while that other man gets to live on in the daughter.

He is being conned. Now that he knows the con he should, if only for the benefit of the next man who might fall prey to this bullshit, cut all ties with that woman and child. He shouldn't listen to that self serving BS that the women in this thread have been spouting such as, "you can't hurt the child" or "it doesn't change your time together." That's all bullshit.

It does sound small-minded and petty, although I realise that that is not the intention of what you're saying. If it is true that if he goes back to her (or stays with her) she wins, it might also be true that if he leaves her, and the child, he loses. So, probably, does the child.

As a general point (not particularly in response to the quoted post here) I'd add that, if I were a friend of this man and he asked me for advice or help, I'd be trying to help him find what it is he wants to do, rather than pontificating about his legal rights and winners or losers.
 
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killerb

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I am dismayed by how many people shut off their phony, useless love for a child just because (after years of supposedly loving them) they discover they were not born of their genes. That isn't love, and not only would the hypothetical child be better off with those individual, but I would venture all dating pools, and perhaps society would be better off without them as well.

I agree...but somehow I tend to believe that people often say that they would behave a certain way, but when the situation truly occurs, they actually behave a different way...let's hope that they wouldn't be so heartless as to hurt an innocent kid.
 

ConstantComment

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It does sound small-minded and petty, although I realise that that is not the intention of what you're saying. If it is true that if he goes back to her (or stays with her) she wins, it might also be true that if he leaves her, and the child, he loses. So, probably, does the child.

As a general point (not particularly in response to the quoted post here) I'd add that, if I were a friend of this man and he asked me for advice or help, I'd be trying to help him find what it is he wants to do, rather than pontificating about his legal rights and winners or losers.

But also help him to evaluate the risks involved,,,,for example, since he is not the biological father nor the legal father (through adoption), could she take the child away from him. Think about being handcuffed to that threat.