Peeing and farting during intercourse?

joybunny

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Man, I fart now just from bending down to pick up my keys on the ground. During the day I hold it in, so come night, any exertion causes tooting. I'd be getting out of mr car: "Poot!" Bend down to tie my shoe: "Pert-Flap!" Sit up in bed (muffled) Foob-Fib! Stretch in bed: "Pureee?" (yeah.. one of those farts that come out in the form of a question!). Drop the soap in the shower and I bend down to get it:" Peau-errrrrrEEEEE!" (with that shower echoy sound).

Going missionary on a girl:
me: "oh...yeah...ewwwww...yeah...Oh... "PERF!"...ugh.. yeah....ohhh..."
Her: "I heard that!"

Oh the humanity!!
Hi everybody,

I'm new but I just have to say this is the funniest thread I have every ready so far! Even funnier is that I was talking to a female friend of mine about this very issue today. Anyone who's lactose intolerant needs to read this. I've been really lucky on not pooting or peeing while getting pounded (PPP) but there's been a couple of close calls. I'll make sure to keep the TUMS nearby just in case!