Penis envy for Gays: A unique problem

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by jonni86, Dec 19, 2011.

  1. jonni86

    jonni86 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2011
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks in advance for being open to a thread that aims to support the gays out there dealing with envy issues.

    I've grown up with a penis that, in all reasonableness, is a good one. However, for what ever reason, big penis envy has always been an issue with me. I'm also gay, and the combination makes a unique problem.

    Homosexuals, and our heterosexual friends, can both mistake lust for love. This alone is a problem. But uniquely, homosexuals, being attracted to genitals similar to their own, can take it one step further, and mistake envy for lust, or worse, envy for love.

    It's a mixed bag when a gay man pulls a big one out of his partner's pants. Where a woman can just be exhilarated by the find, the gay man can be struck with both excitement, and envy, for not having one himself.

    Sexuality has enough pitfalls as it is. We gays do not need the added anxiety of turning our sexuality into a "envy game." Taken too far, an envious man can inflate the worth of all men with a big member. Leaving us in our own "untouchables" category, under them, and subordinate. For gays, it is then just a matter of time before a guy with a big cock, and even bigger ego, uses this against us.

    It is typical for men, gay or straight, to be concerned with the size of their penis. And the solutions for straight men are the same for gays. However, for gays, special caution should be taken to protect our mental health.


    1. Watch less porn
      If you feel you have penis envy, get away from porn sites for a while. You don't have to swear them off, just stop investing so much time to them. Bombarding yourself with images of guys bigger than you will keep you fixated on negative feelings, or tendencies that you have. This alone won't solve the problem, but you need a break from environments that keep you caught up in your own envy before you can take the next step.
    2. Get off male dating sites
      Gay dating sites are usually tooled around the guys body type and penis size. Their browser can usually search for men by penis size, and no other criteria, if you choose. Boys, please admit it to yourself: this is pathetic, and certainly not helpful in starting lasting relationships.
    3. Commit to a "don't ask, don't tell" policy about penis size
      Don't ask him how big he is. Don't tell him how big you are. This goes for pic-swaps as well, or cams, or any other loophole you little devils might try. Just don't do it. We all love a big dick. It's fun, and it's OK to be happy when you find one, but its even more fun when you find it attached to someone you've already developed more substantial feelings for. Taking size-talk out of the equation allows you to explore the depths of your romantic self, and position your romantic life in a direction that is better built to last.
    4. Make more non-sexual friends
      Share life with friends who care for you. Sex is a great ice-breaker, and can lead to friendships, but it bars you from having certain kinds of relationships that can be unique and healthy. Surrounding yourself with non-sexual friends can help you reevaluate your fixation on your own cock, and the cocks among you.
    5. Go play
      The world is huge. It's bigger than any cock. Go out and experience it. Live life in your way, and be grateful for the cuts and scrapes mistakes give you. Envy narrows our world. Go have fun and stop obsessing about what's between my...ehm...our legs!
     
    #1 jonni86, Dec 19, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2011
  2. AtomicMouse1950

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2011
    Messages:
    2,999
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    168
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Placerville , Ca.
    Verified:
    Photo
    Being gay, doesn't always mean, we have universally the exact same feelings about cock size, or for that matter cock envy. I'm thrilled to unveil a very large cock from my partners pants(underwear). I'm only 6" uncut, but I don't have penis envy the way you describe. I'm thrilled to be with an above average cock, I can test my skills on. So I adore a very large cocked man. But I never think about my own short comings. My preference is to be with a Hung Top to my bottom. I'm not attracted to men who are verse, or bi. My preference is for a Hung Top I can satisfy. I never think about my own sexual needs. My needs are his needs. So I'm not on the same page as you are. But, that's o.k. too.
     
  3. NorwaySchlong

    NorwaySchlong Member

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2005
    Messages:
    41
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    44
    Gender:
    Male
    Anyone who feels small, should watch the Color Climax movies from the 70s. All the men are average, but they look small compared to the pornstars of today. Watch them (for example for free at xhamster), hey are sexy and fun.
     
  4. avg_joe

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    3,284
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    I have no one to envy for. People admire my size. That's a problem.
     
  5. jonni86

    jonni86 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2011
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    It's a problem for the admirers too. I read on another thread that "desperation is vagina replant." The same goes for gay guys who are after big wangs.

    Am I wrong? Question for the hung gay men, if you got a guy pleading you for your cock, isn't that a significant turn off if it comes across as desperate?
     
  6. Charles Finn

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2006
    Messages:
    2,538
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    29
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Toledo Ohio
    yes if all they want is my huge cock is is a big turn off for me but again i love smaller uncut cocks
    so i have always suffered from foreskin envy not big dick envy
     
  7. kscird

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2008
    Messages:
    140
    Albums:
    8
    Likes Received:
    462
    Location:
    Portland, OR
    Verified:
    Photo
    where does this question come from? because from my POV you are coming of like an arrogant ass :)
     
    #7 kscird, Dec 19, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2011
  8. sexplease

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2006
    Messages:
    1,724
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    87
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Santa Monica CA
    The tight, hot and lean physiques.
    Dark eyes, hazel or blue will do, too.
    A nice smile, backed by open, honest communication.
    A touch of naughty and a lot of nice.
    Tall, or compact and creative drive.
    Steadfast on principles and open to compromise.

    But most of all I like my humans like m&m's: with nuts
     
  9. D_Harry_Crax

    D_Harry_Crax Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2006
    Messages:
    4,642
    Likes Received:
    34
    WHAT?
     
Draft saved Draft deleted