Penis size and mentality

Discussion in 'Penis Enlargement' started by CRAIGROBBO, Jul 9, 2018.

  1. CRAIGROBBO

    CRAIGROBBO Active Member

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    I wasn't sure where to post this pleae move if necessary but here goes.


    So I've posted before about the size of my penis (or rather lack of it) and got a bunch of reply basically suggesting size doesn't matter its how you use it.


    The issue with me is my mental state towards it and what I want to ask is when you know you have a small penis despite your abity to use (I make my partner cum 99% of the time we have sex) I still have it, I struggle to look at myself downstairs without getting negative thoughts and turning myself off.

    I've had women comment on my size in the past (about small which sticks in my head) and I can't just "not listen" it's like a reoccurring thought I just can't shake.

    My current partner just says "it's fine size doesn't matter you do a good job which does make me feel a bit better but as I said before I know and she's said she'd prefer bigger but we wouldn't split up over it.


    The issue here isnt how to use it but the question is how can I cope or help myself feel better about my lack of size and stop ruining my own sex life by turning myself off everytime I either look at it or think about it.


    Please I do beg don't bomard me with negative comments as what I need is a way to lift myself up about it not make it worse.
     
  2. Stratavos

    Stratavos Well-Known Member

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    I'm honestly at a loss of what to say here. If there was something more to be said, especially from your partner to help motivate you about this I'm at a loss for words.

    you've already been told that your technique is what's wanted, and that you're certainly adequate for size. I have no idea who told you otherwise, but they're the problem. You're more then enough as you are. If you need to test this, put on a cock sleeve and if they're up for trying this, then you should be fine, and have the conclusion that you're looking for.

    Ideally I want to know that your partner found it rediclious (sp?) and that they are plenty happy just having sex with you as you are.
     
  3. CRAIGROBBO

    CRAIGROBBO Active Member

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    Thank you

    Well to start proberbly from te beginning, one girl that I had been with (and kinda where it all started from) was when she pulled my pants down and lookd a bit suprsied...I said whats up she said " you have a pencil dick"...I said so its small...she said "its good for anal so it doesn't hurt"....as you can imagine that was an instant turn off...


    The next occasion was when me, my current and a friend had a three way...when all was done the third girl sat on the end of the bed with my mrs (while im still there bear in mind) and said...oh you knmow ste craigs mate he has a much bigger dick...my responce was "Im fucking sat right here" she said " i didnt think youd be bothered" but my mrs seemed very interested in this "bigger dick" literally that was depression and anxiety formed right there.

    now yes me and my mrs have spoke about it and she basically says" you cock is fine it makes me cum" which yes i get that but ultimatly i know fine well she wishes its bigger.

    Thats not the issue though...the issue now is me...My self loathing, my own anxiety i cant get out of...the fact i struggle to get turned on because i hate to look at it.
     
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  4. coolestguy

    Verified Gold Member

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    Do you want to get surgery to make it bigger then?
     
  5. CRAIGROBBO

    CRAIGROBBO Active Member

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    I wasn't aware of any reliable / permenant /safe procedures?
     
  6. flynn

    flynn Well-Known Member

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    A doctor can cut the tendon that holds your cock to the pubic bone. This will make it look longer in the flaccid state. After that there are various methods of PE you can try.
     
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  7. ItsAll4Kim

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    Forget this. It's risky, it doesn't make the penis any longer, it just hangs differently. There's a good risk that it can actually appear shorter, or get infected (as with any surgery) and it won't be firm as it's no longer properly attached to the pubic bone.
     
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  8. ItsAll4Kim

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    Yes, the issue is you. You essentially ignore compliments and fixate on the negative. You have a small cock and your gf cums 99% of the time. I have a large cock and my wife cums 99% of the time. Your gf says she wouldn't mind if it was bigger. My wife says she wouldn't mind if mine was smaller. You had an ex say it's good for anal. I have only had anal twice in my 56 years. Should I be depressed and anxious over the size of my cock? Why not? I have as many good and bad aspects surrounding mine as you do yours.

    Seriously consider getting professional help in dealing with your issues about this. It can be solved.
     
  9. CRAIGROBBO

    CRAIGROBBO Active Member

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    Thanks, I do get totally what your trying here, the whole phycology thing. I have tried and I have been for councelling to no avil on the subject.
     
  10. CRAIGROBBO

    CRAIGROBBO Active Member

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    Also I would like to say with above reply i am not shooting you down or rejecting help I just struggle with the mental side of it
     
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  11. Vinsanity

    Vinsanity New Member

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    You make a good point but the good and bad of small v big, even if it looks similar, is not the same at all. There is one EXTREMELY important point that you're missing and that's the male ego, which is tied directly to our members probably more than anything else and that's what I believe Craig is struggling with. It's the reason we gather on sites like this one just to talk about and show off our wangs. That ego aspect is why big guys can just shrug off negatives and say to themselves "I'm just too big for her" which is a +1 ego boost, not to mention, there will probably be just as many moments in their life when a big guy drops his pants for the first time and gets that look of awe, which is going to be a +2 ego boost every time. Small guys don't get those vanity moments, just a build up of negatives on something they feel like they can't change. It's very reasonable for Craig to feel the way he does. I've seen a number of big guys on here mention how their wives/partners wouldn't mind them being smaller yet most of us still wish to be bigger. Now why is that? It's because big guys can switch that 'negative' into a positive the way that small guys can't. If a woman says she wouldn't mind you being bigger, that's translated in our heads as her wishing for something that we cannot provide. Craig is obviously highly skilled in the bedroom so it is understandable how it can be demoralizing when a highly skilled individual feels like they will never fully please their mate based on something they have no control over. Now if you flip that same situation to big guys when a woman says they wouldn't mind a guy being smaller. It's translated totally different. We see it as, she would be happy with a smaller size, but we have surpassed her expectations. Again, flipped into a positive, and we all know the truth that bigger does feel better to women. Only the huge guys who have no skills and hurt women with their members are undesirable, but that still puts all of the control in your own hands if you're big, unlike small guys.

    I know I typed a lot out here but just wanted to get across that it's not that simple or unreasonable for our friend Craig here to feel the way that he does. I imagine most guys in his position would feel the same way, especially with those examples he posted. Pretty brutal and would stick with any guy mentally if he experienced those situations first hand.

    My advice for Craig personally I think you have a few options and the posters above gave some decent suggestions. Cock sleeve would probably help some. Would spice up things with your lady but not sure it would do much for your damaged psyche. Surgery is also a decent option if you're comfortable with it, but definitely would cost a pretty penny. Professional help like itsall4kim posted I think could help some with just accepting yourself but those thoughts will always be in the back of your mind as long as you're small. I think the best thing to do is to get into PE and be serious and committed with it. The reason is because I think it would help you two fold. Not only would you be bigger and thus please your lady more, and trust me, your lady will notice very quickly once you start to gain. You will also help your psyche. We always appreciate what we worked hard for so what do you think would happen if you worked your ass off and got bigger. Even if you didn't get huge i'm pretty sure you'd be a lot more confident if you knew no one could ever call you pencil dick ever again. Well that's all I got for you bud, really hope this connected with you and you got something out of it.
     
  12. ItsAll4Kim

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    No worries, but you do get that this is a mental problem, not at all a physical problem. You asked how to cope. Nobody here can tell you based on a few posts. Good therapy can definitely help. An actual psychiatrist, not a psychologist, can help you get out of your head and back to simply enjoying being intimate with your partner.
     
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  13. ItsAll4Kim

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    The notion that a small guy's problems are worse is absolutely ignoring the fact that any problem for anyone is as big or small as they make it. Dismissing it or saying a big guy being rejected for sex is a +1 ego boost is somehow telling me that winding up alone is somehow better if you have a big dick. Trust me, alone and rejected feels bad no matter how hung you are.
     
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  14. Vinsanity

    Vinsanity New Member

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    That is truth. Alone and rejected sucks no matter what, but you can't look at it in a vacuum. Bigger guys have a mental way of lessening the blow is all i'm trying to say. At least when it comes to long term effects. I've yet to see a big guy resent his size because of how much he's been rejected. Being rejected for being small is pretty much someone saying to you that you can't do anything for them with that tiny thing. That can't be taken any other way and is a mental scar. Being rejected for being too big is more out of fear than anything else, and being the masculine, dominant gender, i'm sorry but there can be an ego boost associated with that. Maybe not for everybody, but it's certainly not going to hurt your ego if you have a big one
     
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  15. ItsAll4Kim

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    You're repeating what you already wrote...that somehow a big dick is a win even if you get rejected. It isn't. Trust me. And it isn't simply fear. Actual pain is a real problem. Being told, "get that thing out of me" by someone in pain is no ego boost. Ever. Unless you're a sadist, and I am definitely not.

    A lot of you need to understand the realities of rejection. I see this here a lot...the assumption that big cocks are never a problem, or can't be as much of a problem as small or average cocks. EVERY size has a perfect match, and really bad matches.
     
  16. Vinsanity

    Vinsanity New Member

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    You're being too black and white about it. I'm not saying it's a win, i'm just saying the mental response is different being big and being rejected versus being small and being rejected. You seem to have experience with rejection for being big but have you ever once resented your size because of it? If you have I doubt that it's ongoing, every day like Craig's situation.

    I'm not calling anyone a sadist. I understand if you like a girl and can't have sex with her because you're just too big. Yea you don't want to hurt girls you wanna bang obviously and that rejection sucks but let's not kid ourselves here. We are competitive about our wangs. It's just another way to validate how big you are when you can go into your memory banks and remember girls you were just too big for even when you tried your best not to hurt them. That will tickle your ego. Rejection for being overwhelming is a lot different than rejection for being inadequate is all i'm trying to say.
     
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  17. ItsAll4Kim

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    I know what you're trying to say, and I'm saying it's flat-out wrong. To answer your question: yes, I have absolutely resented my size when rejected by a woman I was very much into and wanted to pursue a relationship. She did not want a guy with more than an average size due to pain and a prior bad experience. No amount of talking, reassuring, etc. was going to change her mind. Being rejected due to size is the same...exactly the same...regardless of your size. It's rejection. Please stop trying to make the case for small being worse. It isn't any different.

    Regarding it being an ongoing thing, it is that too. No anal sex, and I know my wife would love to do that. No deep threat, and she has zero gag reflex but simply can't fit my cock further in...her mouth/throats is too narrow, and again, I don't want to hurt her.
     
    #17 ItsAll4Kim, Jul 13, 2018
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2018
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  18. Vinsanity

    Vinsanity New Member

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    If you could magically snap your fingers to make yourself average sized and not look back, would you do it?
     
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  19. ItsAll4Kim

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    No, because that can't happen and my penis doesn't define me. I don't care about size... I neither want to be larger or smaller. Be who you are. There's someone for everyone, and I guessed wrong and assumed wrong a few times. People with dysmorphic disorders will never understand that their obsession only matters to them. I've been successful and have been rejected. The point of experiences is to learn from all of them and grow, not be paralyzed by failures and allow them to ruin our lives. I was rejected because of my size. It hurt a lot, but rejection is supposed to hurt. I realized a big dick wasn't the be-all end-all of being a guy. I grew up.
     
  20. Vinsanity

    Vinsanity New Member

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    But you don't resent your size even with the rejections and the few sexual drawbacks that come with being big. You are saying it's because you are confident and content in your own skin. I 100% agree with that. I'm saying that certain circumstances and situations make that confidence and accepting of yourself harder to obtain. You're right about dysmorphic disorders but we live in a society that breeds that kind of thinking. We are incredibly social beings, which means we look outward for affirmation on almost everything about ourselves. That is why perceived flaws have such a deep affect on us mentally. Even if you are rejected for being big there is almost no one who will perceive largeness as a flaw after that. You will more likely than not even still get a compliment on your member from the girl who rejected you, which is a positive affirmation to lessen the rejection. A small guy already has that perceived flaw because that's what society feeds us so when he's rejected it's all negative. Those negatives add up and they come more frequent for small guys from outward, which then turns inward and it's a snowball effect. That's why the rejection is not the same. We don't live in a vacuum, we are in a living, breathing world where we give different value to everything based on whatever reason, and for the most part, as a whole we respect those values. Nothing is perfect but the scale for bigger guys is tilted more on the positive side.
     
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