Penis size and mentality

CRAIGROBBO

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Additionally, the facts support me far more than anyone who assumes a big cock is necessary to satisfy a woman. Survey after survey shows that the overwhelming majority of women are satisfied with the size of their partner's penis. The overwhelming majority of men have average penises. Only the extreme ends of the bell curve have small and large....we're both outliers statistically. And in the same satisfaction surveys, it's the guys who are the ones thinking they aren't big enough. The women say they are fine, the guys disagree. But no, that's not an emotional/mental problem.....nope, no way.....
I agree it's mental but I am siding with the gentleman above he gets my situation perfectly and sums it up just right.

Being satisfied is fine but wanting more can still can come with satisficstion.
My partner is satisfied with me... But I know know given the chance she would prefer bigger....
 

ItsAll4Kim

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I agree it's mental but I am siding with the gentleman above he gets my situation perfectly and sums it up just right.

Being satisfied is fine but wanting more can still can come with satisficstion.
My partner is satisfied with me... But I know know given the chance she would prefer bigger....

Siding with him? This isn't a competition. We're both trying to help you, not win in debate class.

You wrote this in your first post:

The issue here isnt how to use it but the question is how can I cope or help myself feel better about my lack of size and stop ruining my own sex life by turning myself off everytime I either look at it or think about it.


Please I do beg don't bomard me with negative comments as what I need is a way to lift myself up about it not make it worse.

You specifically requested no negative comments. I have made repeated suggestions that are positive...that you don't need a bigger cock and can't get one anyway, that this isn't a physical issue and that mental issues CAN be helped (you asked how to cope), that women don't typically require anything big, and that statistically you are probably far more like most other men.

I did not come here to argue whether my big cock problems are more or less a problem than small cock problems. All problems are an issue for whoever has them...that was my point. How we deal with problems determines how and whether we get past them. The fact that you agree with someone who is essentially telling you your problem is insurmountable is neither a positive comment or anything that helps you. He "gets" you, in your opinion. So? Does that get you closer to resolving your issues? Has he made any suggestions to get you toward resolution?

Yes, he means well and I'm not trying to undermine him...we both wish to help you. But sitting around agreeing and not changing anything doesn't help you. You've been to all sorts of counseling, but didn't answer my question regarding therapy with a true psychiatrist. This all gives me the impression you really don't want to solve your problems. I'm not positive about this, but it's still lingering in my mind.

I had all sorts of body image issues. I went from being extremely self-conscious and feeling like a freak because my cock was far bigger than most other guys my age, as well as being painfully shy, skinny, and generally geeky, to eventually accepting myself as I am. Perfect? Far from it. I try to change what I can, rather than obsessing over what I can't change. I GET how difficult all of this is. But at age 56 I also get how short life is. You get one. If you waste it being miserable over your own body, there won't be a do-over. Please seek good help.
 
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ItsAll4Kim

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My partner is satisfied with me... But I know know given the chance she would prefer bigger....

You do realize that no one person will ever perfectly satisfy every possible desire and whim that another person may have. Nor should anyone. That is perfection, which exists in math, not life. I can't emphasize this enough. "Given the chance she would prefer bigger." But she chooses to be with you. Don't question why...the dynamics of attraction are infinitely complex....just enjoy your time together. It's all about time, there is SO little time. Waste none of it, we're a long time dead.
 

ItsAll4Kim

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The thing is, there's a considerably higher number of women who'd prefer a larger penis (not monster painful ) than that would prefer an unsatisfying small one.

If you took an operating range I can guarantee regardless of person attached most women would air on the larger side.
You guarantee it based upon what? First, again, the statistics do not agree with you. Per the BJU study of surveys, 85% of women are satisfied with their partner's penis. 90% of men are between 4 and 6 inches. So most men are within an inch of the average, and most women are happy with that. And nowhere in that study was there anything saying a considerably higher number of women who would prefer a large penis. Given how few large penises exist, how would they actually know? Because porn tells them to?

But more importantly, you can't change either the statistics, or the size of your penis. Your partner is happy with you. You aren't happy with yourself. You can't change the physical, but can change the mental. You're basing years of unhappiness on a belief that is statistically wrong, it's wrong based on your current relationship, but you refuse to let go of it.
 
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CRAIGROBBO

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You guarantee it based upon what? First, again, the statistics do not agree with you. Per the BJU study of surveys, 85% of women are satisfied with their partner's penis. 90% of men are between 4 and 6 inches. So most men are within an inch of the average, and most women are happy with that. And nowhere in that study was there anything saying a considerably higher number of women who would prefer a large penis. Given how few large penises exist, how would they actually know? Because porn tells them to?

But more importantly, you can't change either the statistics, or the size of your penis. Your partner is happy with you. You aren't happy with yourself. You can't change the physical, but can change the mental. You're basing years of unhappiness on a belief that is statistically wrong, it's wrong based on your current relationship, but you refuse to let go of it.
What your saying about mentality is right and logical and you'd be a fool to think I don't know this, however trying to implement that intoy brain and the way it thinks is a different story. Unfortunately just saying "this is how it is deal with it (or to thst effect) doesn't work.


Now for the statistics. The issue is they are just thst a set number of people take a questionnaire and that's the result, the issue is if you so much as got lucky enough to pick 100 people out of say 1000 that prefers one size thst doesn't dictate them all, just thst 100.

Now for my guarantee, well simply experience, your statistics you tell me thst women are happy with average but my statistics/experience tell a different story.

The final thing I want to say is being "satisfied" and being "happy" or "prreference " is difference.

An analogy for you I have an audi a4 2.0 TDI car, I'm satisfied with it, but would I like it faster? Damn right I would.

Thing is my girl is "satisfied" with me, but thst doesn't mean she wouldn't "prefer" more.


If a survey asked "are you satisfied" or "what's your preferred size" I bet the results would be very different.


Any ways this isn't really about that so to speak as someone who doesn't have wouldn't know and not everyone is good at looking at the various angles, I can see all the angles but struggle to make the bridge. (metaphorically speaking )
 

CRAIGROBBO

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[QUOTE="ItsAll4Kim "Given the chance she would prefer bigger." But she chooses to be with you. Don't question why...the dynamics of attraction are infinitely complex....[/QUOTE]


This is easy to answer, it's the less of evils, if something has positives and negatives you have to way the positives vs the negatives... Thst does not mean you "like" or "prefer" the negatives it means the positives outweigh or you can "deal" with the negatives
 

ItsAll4Kim

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What your saying about mentality is right and logical and you'd be a fool to think I don't know this, however trying to implement that intoy brain and the way it thinks is a different story. Unfortunately just saying "this is how it is deal with it (or to thst effect) doesn't work.


Now for the statistics. The issue is they are just thst a set number of people take a questionnaire and that's the result, the issue is if you so much as got lucky enough to pick 100 people out of say 1000 that prefers one size thst doesn't dictate them all, just thst 100.

Now for my guarantee, well simply experience, your statistics you tell me thst women are happy with average but my statistics/experience tell a different story.

The final thing I want to say is being "satisfied" and being "happy" or "prreference " is difference.

An analogy for you I have an audi a4 2.0 TDI car, I'm satisfied with it, but would I like it faster? Damn right I would.

Thing is my girl is "satisfied" with me, but thst doesn't mean she wouldn't "prefer" more.


If a survey asked "are you satisfied" or "what's your preferred size" I bet the results would be very different.


Any ways this isn't really about that so to speak as someone who doesn't have wouldn't know and not everyone is good at looking at the various angles, I can see all the angles but struggle to make the bridge. (metaphorically speaking )
You're going to lengths of dissecting and cherry-picking parts and words to prove why you should stay unhappy. The study I cited looked at every prior survey it could find that dealt with penis size in a scientific way, as well as surveys of people. It deals with thousands of subjects worldwide and took pains to remove those that showed bias or were otherwise sloppy in their methods. It is largely aimed at people just like you...those who have an irrational view of themselves despite facts.

Among the surveys that ask about preference, most picked...surprise, surprise....average or slightly above. So 5-6in. Not 7-8. So, once again, right in the wheelhouse of where most men already are. But what difference does any of this make, if you are with someone who cares for you and is happy with the sex you have? Are you trying to sabotage your relationship in the same manner you're trying to sabotage anything I write that might be encouraging? Again, more evidence pointing to you not really wanting to fix this. It's far easier to simply complain than to do something to change a situation. You did ask for help in your first post. Rather than tell you something you want to hear that won't do squat to help, I've tried to give you facts and suggestions for help.
 
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CRAIGROBBO

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You're going to lengths of dissecting and cherry-picking parts and words to prove why you should stay unhappy. The study I cited looked at every prior survey it could find that dealt with penis size in a scientific way, as well as surveys of people. It deals with thousands of subjects worldwide and took pains to remove those that showed bias or were otherwise sloppy in their methods. It is largely aimed at people just like you...those who have an irrational view of themselves despite facts.

Among the surveys that ask about preference, most picked...surprise, surprise....average or slightly above. So 5-6in. Not 7-8. So, once again, right in the wheelhouse of where most men already are. But what difference does any of this make, if you are with someone who cares for you and is happy with the sex you have? Are you trying to sabotage your relationship in the same manner you're trying to sabotage anything I write that might be encouraging? Again, more evidence pointing to you not really wanting to fix this. It's far easier to simply complain than to do something to change a situation. You did ask for help in your first post. Rather than tell you something you want to hear that won't do squat to help, I've tried to give you facts and suggestions for help.
From my experiance Ive never ever found a woman who wanted 5 to 6.

In answer to yuour question no, i tried to explain but if one doesnt understand then i cant make them. The issue is in my head and no just telling me "your womans happy deal with it" isnt going to fix that.

All my life ive been subjected to me penis being small and borderline humiliated for it so i have pretty good reason for feeling the way i do.
 

ItsAll4Kim

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From my experiance Ive never ever found a woman who wanted 5 to 6.

In answer to yuour question no, i tried to explain but if one doesnt understand then i cant make them. The issue is in my head and no just telling me "your womans happy deal with it" isnt going to fix that.

All my life ive been subjected to me penis being small and borderline humiliated for it so i have pretty good reason for feeling the way i do.
I don't think anyone has implied that you have no reason to feel as you do. I've spent half this thread justifying my own feelings to several of the participants who seem to think I shouldn't have any issues simply because my cock is big, so I won't tell you how to feel. All I'm suggesting is to seek the care of a good psychiatrist. Your multiple issues will be a challenge, but you can learn how to be happy with yourself.
 
D

deleted972301

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I wasn't sure where to post this pleae move if necessary but here goes.


So I've posted before about the size of my penis (or rather lack of it) and got a bunch of reply basically suggesting size doesn't matter its how you use it.


The issue with me is my mental state towards it and what I want to ask is when you know you have a small penis despite your abity to use (I make my partner cum 99% of the time we have sex) I still have it, I struggle to look at myself downstairs without getting negative thoughts and turning myself off.

I've had women comment on my size in the past (about small which sticks in my head) and I can't just "not listen" it's like a reoccurring thought I just can't shake.

My current partner just says "it's fine size doesn't matter you do a good job which does make me feel a bit better but as I said before I know and she's said she'd prefer bigger but we wouldn't split up over it.


The issue here isnt how to use it but the question is how can I cope or help myself feel better about my lack of size and stop ruining my own sex life by turning myself off everytime I either look at it or think about it.


Please I do beg don't bomard me with negative comments as what I need is a way to lift myself up about it not make it worse.


We just live in a society that glorifies huge cocks. This has put all of us average sized individuals in a bubble to think we are inferior in some kind of way because we aren't 8 inches or bigger. The thing is you just have to learn to be comfortable in your skin. Some things you can't change. There are things that you can modify, but not change. I pump from time to time just because I love the feel of being a bit bigger. I am not the biggest fish in the pond and I realized that a long time ago. But I know I am in the upper tier of average and women have always loved it. Take the focus off of how you look, or your size and try and redirect in the manner in which you perform. I get turned on by how much I can leave a woman begging for more cock after I have finished wrecking her brains out. It's an alpha thing as I like to view it.
 
D

deleted1253403

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Small Dick big balls.
The only action i get is my hand
 

CRAIGROBBO

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I don't think anyone has implied that you have no reason to feel as you do. I've spent half this thread justifying my own feelings to several of the participants who seem to think I shouldn't have any issues simply because my cock is big, so I won't tell you how to feel. All I'm suggesting is to seek the care of a good psychiatrist. Your multiple issues will be a challenge, but you can learn how to be happy with yourself.

The issue with "too big" vs "too small" is that (like i said on a previous message) some girls will love a huge one, even painfully (size queens?) some girls are just " satisfied" with average but I've never in my life known a girl to activly seek out a "small" cock for pleasure.

meaning too big is okay because youll find someone who LVOES that where as small best you can hope for is "it'll do"
 

CRAIGROBBO

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Are you by chance willing to share what you mean by this..?
Well, its fairly self explanatory but I can expand a bit. I won't share all my experiances as you'll just get fed up of reading (and it'll take me forever to type them"

However here are a few examples.

So one time me, my partner and a friend of hers had a three some...when all was done and dusted, the 3rd female sat up and said to my partner " you know craigs mate ste, he has a really big cock compared to Craig"...This as you can imagine was pretty sole destroying, I spoke to her after and she just said, look its ok that your cock is small I just prefer big ones.

Another scenario, I was seeing a Girl called Kita for a little while, really started falling for her pretty badly and I was pretty sure she was too....She left me with the sole reason (and it was the sole reason) of penis size and went with another guy who was considerably bigger than me.

Another scenario, again a girl I was kinda just friends with benefits...having a play around and the first time i dropped the pants(errect I may add) she looked at me with an odd look, I asked what she said nothing....Iasked again as I knew somthing wasnt right...she said I just kinda used to more...so i said its too small she said no its just a bit too thin but on the good side its good for anal with someone whos new to it......

Just three times but beleive me thats only a SMALL amount of times somthing like this has happened.
 

Ggftl

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I think Vinsanity makes a great point about the distinction between individual experiences and the power of society's impact on our perceptions of self. I think it's important to just acknowledge the fact that CRAIGROBBO is feeling really shitty because of the way society devalues men who in whatever way do not uphold these toxic masculine ideals. In the same way that straight men hate gay men for their femininity, men who are not large are looked down on by a society that is clearly obsessed with size. It's also the reason why stereotypes about Asian men's size are negative stereotypes.

What I think he needs first and foremost isn't problem solving, but acknowledgement that that shit does suck, not a situation where people with more "valued" appendages state that all's not greener on the other side, while still being on the other side and unwilling to switch places lmao.
 

CRAIGROBBO

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What I think he needs first and foremost isn't problem solving, but acknowledgement that that shit does suck, not a situation where people with more "valued" appendages state that all's not greener on the other side, while still being on the other side and unwilling to switch places lmao.
I do agree but as you mentioned in the first part, its easier said than it is done. Especailly with it now being so deeply embeded mentally.
 

Incandescence

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To me, basically everyone on this site has body dysmorphia. If your life or your interactions with people (like coming to LPSG) revolve around the size of a dick, big or little, then you are body dysmorphic.

But also it’s not just about dick size. More generally I would say everyone is body dysmorphic, not because of our cultures, but to the extent that our bodies are not the stable containers or substances we want them to be, but are active battlegrounds and processes. The body is an event, not a thing. The simple reality is: most people experience their bodies as the place where they fight their biology, not happily live and embrace it. Indeed, happily living and embracing your biology would be stupid: biology tells you nothing about how to live, what to do, where to go.

So in this sense I say there is nothing wrong with a fetish for sexual humiliation. It participates in the same pornographic logic that glorifies large penises. But to feel substantially inferior to the point of affecting your mental state because someone has a bigger dick is once again to confuse the body with a substance rather than a process. I enjoy being humiliated and degraded for my dick if someone is into it, but for me it’s about the hotness of persisting in the face of certain doom— a condition mortal creatures can perhaps understand.
 

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some may argue this and that's ok. i myself wish i was bigger...about 15 inches actually but outside of dreams that won't happen. i think guys worry way too much about dick size and should focus better and more on how to use what you have at it's best instead of changing what you can't. just remember when we die we all will be in the same size box.