penis size and the rest of your body?

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by Imported, Jan 4, 2004.

  1. Imported

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    horsehungdick: Hey all... I've been reading through this site for a month or so now and haven't said a whole lot; lots of repeat topics, and I'm sure it gets annoying, but here's something I'm curious about that didn't seem to get addressed... it's purely subjective, of course no empirical evidence to support it either way, but I'd like to hear your opinions.

    It think it's pretty safe to say that guys that vist this site have at least a passing preoccupation with their dicks. So in polling this audience... How do you think your penis size has changed or influenced the way you address or care for the rest of your body? The question can be taken in a number of different directions --either if you have a small penis, did you try and compensate for it by trying to improve the rest of your features? or if you're well-endowed, did you perhaps fixate on that and never ponder the rest? Or did you not view your physical anatomy so wholistically, the individual factors never influencing each other? (Which may have been the case, because unlike breast size in women, for most of us the world will never know, so maybe you didn't let it affect your outward appearence. )(Yeah, I know it's a totally open ended.) Really the question deals not so much with our cocks, as everything else that might have derived influence from them...

    Speaking from personally, I guess I realized I had a significantly above average dick when I hit puberty, more or less. With the realization that I could be a sex object, and a pretty decent one, I guess I was interested in really maximizing my resources. I found myself in no way attractive, and honestly can really only name this in retrospect as my only distinctive feature. I don't know if it's as simple to say that my dick "inspired" me to pay more attention to the rest of my body --but as a kid I was an utter nerd; hopeless; braces, retainers, glasses, 20-30 lbs underweight till I was 14-15, short, nondescript, you name it-- and looking back on it I really have to question what actually gave me the initiative or indeed confidence to try and "fix" everything I thought made me ugly. (My family never gave much thought to appearances; so it seems a question more of nature than nuture...) But suddenly when I was maybe 14, with no history of sports in my background or interest in physical activity, I started going to the gym 4-5 times a week to lift wieghts. I cared about what I wore, how I looked, got contacts, etc. I still go to the gym daily and am always trying to dress well, look good, etc.

    Oddly enough, my mental image of myself is still (and I think probably forever will be) the only somewhat attractive 14 year old. But nowadays, (I'm 20 years old) when I think "my arms could use more definition" or "my nose is too big" or something silly like that (I say silly because consciously I know I'm being unforgivably superficial, and short changing my personality, but subconsciously I still have the insecurity), more often than not the train of thought ends with, "well at least my cock is really hot." --Which leads me to think that may have been a significantly influencing factor in my childhood or a self-esteem booster.

    Okay, so I'm sure I sound like a shallow vain prick now, but it is something that's crossed my mind alot. And at least since I'm only a keyboard to all of you and will never have to face your verdict as to hot or not, I feel a little more secure posing the topic. Anyway, if you have thoughts about yourselves personally, I have interest in hearing them.

    :)
     
  2. Imported

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    Donk: This is an interesting topic, and I can relate to what you're saying. 9 years ago this month, I joined a gym and started working out regularly (only New Year's resolution I ever successfully kept!). There were several factors that made me decide to get in shape and put on muscle. But one small factor was this little, vain thought--I have a "studly" dick and I should have a body to match it. That was only a small part of my motivation to get buff and I have never obsessed over it, but I must confess that it was a factor.

    If nothing else, it shows that the old cliche about all guys with big muscles just trying to compensate for something else is not necessarily true. (Though I have seen a couple examples of that in the locker room! :) )
     
  3. Imported

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    View_From_Below: [quote author=horsehungdick link=board=meetgreet;num=1073201446;start=0#0 date=01/03/04 at 23:21:46]The question can be taken in a number of different directions --either if you have a small penis, did you try and compensate for it by trying to improve the rest of your features? or if you're well-endowed, did you perhaps fixate on that and never ponder the rest?
    [/quote]

    Donk replies:
    This is an interesting question, as Donk says. Here's one perspective. It's a tough bind for the men on the small end of the spectrum. If you go all out to buff up, then as Donk says you are subject to the cliche about trying to compensate for your small dick with muscles (nice wrapping, but small gift inside). The implication of the cliche is that if you're unendowed and you buff up you're a phony, like you're padding your crotch -- you're implying you're more studly than you are. You should just accept your second-class status.

    And many unhung men accept that, telling themselves that even if they get in great shape they'll still have small dicks, so what's the use-- they'll only mislead and disappoint sex partners.

    But there are other unhung men who go for broke, who try to look their best for its own sake and don't look at it in terms of trying to "compensate." They say-- I can't change my bad luck (in terms of penis size) by a muscle overhaul... but I can maximize my attractiveness and look my best for lots of other reasons.

    But it's a hard problem if you are unhung and yet you do want to look your best--you don't want to look like a fool, trying to "compensate." But some people will always think you are.

    As for the well-hung? Well, I suspect many would share Donk's reasoning--"I have a studly dick and I should have a body to match it." [Notice that this is the flip side of the cliche Donk refers to, which is basically saying: you do not have a studly dick, and your body should not imply that you do.] And, of course, horsehung's original suggestion for some endowed men (fixate on your dick, that trumps everything, don't think about the rest) probably holds true for a fair number.
     
  4. Imported

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    niner: I think I can speak for a good majority of the people on here when I say that for a lot of us, regardless of the fact that we're above the norm south of the border, it doesn't have any affect on our daily lives outside the bedroom....

    To be honest, I was one of those naive people (still am to a certain extent) and it wasn't until a couple of my close friends commented one day that I had realized that I was above the norm... I always thought that I was a little above, maybe by a half inch or an inch or something, but I wrote that off as being 6'6" and it comes with the territory.. it wasn't until I was at a party one night and I saw this girl I was interested in that one of my friends told me (as a joke) that I'd split her in two.. the conversation unfolded, and I found out that I was a healthy cut above the average.

    Still, in no way does it affect my attitude towards anything about more, and certainly not anything about anyone else. I've got what I've got and I'm more than happy with it, but there's always going to be someone bigger or whatever, so I don't dwell on it. And besides, what you have in your pants, regardless of what the world seems to say as a whole, doesn't have any bearing at all on your personality or suitability.
     
  5. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    I guess I can relate to HorseHungDick's experiences as a teenager better than anyone else thus far. I was, and maybe in some cases am currently, the guy that was too skinny, too inept in sports, lacking in athletics and so forth. Even at 23, I'm taller than average, but I'm still considerably lighter; I'm rather "rail thin" compared to my peers, and though I have no qualms about participating in most sports (especially volleyball), I'm not particularly skilled at any of them.

    Truth is, it's much more of a challenge to grow comfortable in one's own skin than to loathe it and take whatever measures necessary to change it up. Yeah. I ditched the glasses for contact lenses; I grew my hair out; I got a couple of tattooes. But aside from these superficial changes, I don't have a problem with who I am -- build, size, or dick.

    Hell, I didn't even really know what I was packing until I became more sexually active in college. I won't lie. I was pretty concerned about the perennial "Am I big enough?" like most other guys... not anymore. But if I were to overinflate particular attributes about my being, whether we're talking the schlong or grades or something else, well, I would regress to that insecure 14-year-old kid I was who felt like the only way I could have some self-worth was to put someone else down for it. Since kids picked on me, I had to make them feel stupid in order to feel good.

    I'm so glad I got over that...
     
  6. jonb

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    I care. With me, it was always my ass that I was worried about. Or should I say lack thereof? Somewhat contradictory, I was always afraid my face was too feminine.

    But what's weird is, throughout puberty, while my voice did change, I never had the really weird cracking or sudden changes of pitch.
     
  7. Max

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    I have paid plenty of visits to the gym, and there have been periods when it has been very regular and disciplined, but often demands of family and work (and maybe my laziness ;) ) have got in the way. Must make that resolution .. again :(

    I was never a confident teenager in this area, which goes to show that a very large penis (which I was well aware of at an early stage) does not automatically compensate for a perceived weakness at sport, mediocre body-image and so forth.

    With me, discovering all of a sudden in my early 20s that in fact I had somehow or another grown a deep chest, broad shoulders, and decent legs and arms etc. impelled me to work on those "assets", and I would say that the resulting steady progress gave me far more confidence than my penis size had ever done. The result, some sort of balance between the "package" and the rest may be the same as in horsehungick's and Donk's cases, but the motivation was very different.
     
  8. Imported

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    Icarus213: For me, working out and taking care of my body doesn't have much to do with my dick size, but I have close friends who can really relate to horsehungdick's experience that his penis size "inspired" him to take notice of himself physically. I know a lot of guys who didn't really think of themselves sexually or erotically (as in, what feelings they can inspire in others) until they
    1) first noticed they were well-endowed, and
    2) first realized that their size could actually mean something to their sexual identity.
    This then got them thinking seriously about what they wanted their bodies to look like and mean to them, and to their partners.

    And in response to your original prediction that saying all this will make you sound superficial and shallow- I heartily disagree. On the contrary, how many of us would think about improving our sense of well-being and physical and sexual health nearly as much if it wasn't for the time we spend on lpsg thinking about penis size? True, it can turn into a shallow obsession, but for many of us, and apparently for you, it caused your thinking about yourself to open up to where you can imagine what more you can be than just what nature dealt you.
     
  9. benderten2001

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    I'm glad to be reading these responses!
    They only help me feel better, really.

    Several years ago, I decided I wanted to begin feeling more positive about myself...as in my "image".

    (I finally came to terms that I was "hung" afterall and hadn't even really realized that fact for many, many years! --I've covered the details about all that mess from my "past" elsewhere in the forum).

    Only a few years ago, I got busy on the "new me".
    I didn't necessarily HAVE to trot off to a gym and "get buff" Fortunately, I seem to be in pretty good shape overall. Sure, I could use a bit of work here and there. Who couldn't at near age 50? But, I was not in a state of "horrific ugliness" at all. Several MD's commented favorably about my blood work and the thorough exams I had completed to rule out any medical problems. All seemed well there.

    I decided to list and accentuate the good qualities of my physique---I'm not overweight, still have a good head of healthy hair (very little if any gray to speak of) , good skin tone, etc.. I had alot going for me! Plus--people often mistook me to be much younger than I really am.
    --Can't beat that! ;)

    I'm in the "business world" everyday. I wanted to look more like my peers--distinguished, well-groomed, "polished" and professional. I suppose I had some of these "characteristics" anyway. I just needed to "brush up" on some of the details I had ignored. I secretly observed other guys I wanted to emulate...I took mental notes how they looked and why---what did they have going for them? I studied their grooming. How did they dress? And, how did they dress for different occasions? --Stuff I had NEVER given a thought to!
    And, yet, all this was around me every single day.

    I first worked on an all-over tan. No tanning booths, just enjoyed the patio all summer! ;) Next, I decided to "play up" the wardrobe---good ensembles of mix and match clothing for business (traditional/conservative wear) as well as a good assortment of casual outfits. I NEVER had thought too much about clothing most of my life. While I never "looked like a slob", I suppose I had stayed pretty much with the "bland basics". Okay---I got by day-to-day and most likely got by in a very drab way. No wonder people starting complimenting me with the (gradual) introductions of the "new" me.

    In addition to new clothing choices, I've changed hairstyles a few times; tried different beard "looks" etc., even now wear a touch of cologne on a regular basis.
    Understand these are things I NEVER had the courage to do before! Stupid when I think about that awful mindset I had about myself. It was as if I was thinking-"why bother? No one cares or would notice."
    Truth is (now) that I should have cared (more for myself if for no one else! --I realize that, now, in hind-sight. And yes, I learned too, that people DID take notice.) It's nice to have women especially acting shall we say "more friendly" ;)....Believe it or not....this was all kind of "new" for me....I have always been the shy type guy.
    All my life, I would hear (indirectly) that people found me handsome. I just didn't believe it, somehow.

    So, this personal attention HAS made a BIG difference in my own personal perception of myself and that from others, too. It's been quite invigorating, really.

    I hope the day soon comes when guys CAN take notice to their appearance without the cultural inferences of being vain, shallow, effeminate, (THAT word really makes me mad!). I dunno, it just seems that men deserve a chance to feel good about themselves and their "image" without the fear of ridicule from their peers or others. I held off making changes for exactly those very reasons! --and, held off for well over 45 years! --Wasn't that stupid?

    Now, in saying all this, I recognize too, that there are boundaries I suppose---"limits" for a guy to stay within regarding reason, good judgement, and good taste in his choices. Afterall, it would defeat the purpose to suddenly become too flambuoyant and bring unnecessary (undesired!) attention to himself! It's really up to the individual man--whatever he decides to do to feel better about himself. I tried to have a plan of action and stayed with it. I knew what I was going after in my new "look". It was not all that experimental at all.

    From my own personal experience, I can say now quite emphatically that if a man wants to make some changes in his life to improve his outlook and boost his self-esteem and self confidence, then by all means------
    GO FOR IT! ;)
     
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