H8Monga: Gigantik and Dee, thanks.
Perhaps THIS is how I'll help myself. I may come across as extremely bitter, but it's not reflected on the outside if you actually met me. This is the place where I can air myself out in response to some of the things I find here as well as letting people know what I have personally encountered on the other side. Things you may not know. Everyone has their own problems, true. Being hung is not an end to all problems, true. However, it does have benefits and I have seen that thought flip-flopped several times here.
Gigantik you said it right, "accept and be happy with what you have"....because honestly, no one on Earth follows that advice. No one follows that. Everyone wants something better or less if they are not satisfied with it. People get plastic surgery, injections, implants, rob, steal, kill, play the lottery, work 3 jobs, etc just to get what they feel important to them and making whatever situation they have better.
If I were hung, it doesn't mean I'd automatically be rich, have all doors open to me, I'd get respect, not get ill, become a genius, I'd not show off at any opportunity or brag... but when I talk about having confidence, I'm not just talking overall. I have confidence in everything else in my life, but I worry about women's points of view the most since it now appears I was naïve about what some women like. Like everything in life, it's a gamble. I may end up with someone who will be a bitch about my size and I am bracing myself for that; on the other hand, maybe I won't and I'll be relieved. They, the size queens, are out there; I refuse to ignore that fact because if I do, it wouldn't erase them or my chances in finding one. The biggest place where my self-confidence lacks is when it comes to romance and relationships. I think most guys would worry about something dealing with that issue, unless you're Leon Phelps, The Ladies Man ;D I hear size does matter, so I worry, I admit perhaps I shouldn't.
Perhaps this IS my therapy. Like washing clothes. This forum is the water, I'm immersed in it. Some of the messages beat the bitterness out of me like dirt. Some messages act as soap and help clense. Maybe I will leave this forum feeling refreshed and better about myself after hearing some of the things you have had to say. I'm not here to make people mad or to make people hate me. I read, consider, listen, and counterbalance.
People always order others to "get better," "feel [this way]." I'm guilty of it. You can't control how people feel. I have told many of my friends who are in love with these people who are obviously out of their reach, to snap out of it and stop thinking of them, and they know they shouldn't, but it's hard. I've told depressed people to snap out of it, it's not that bad. I know that doesn't help when all they are probably after is someone to talk to and understanding. The thing that we always lack when we tell people to do things is how. We also have to bear in mind that what is true and right for us may not be for them. People have told me to "get out", go to the movies, a mall, etc. but I do not have a car and I am at the mercy of someone else's availability. We don't have regional mass transit and where there are movie theaters and malls, it's not going to be on a bus line. I guess some times we assume too much of the other person's ability.
In due time, I'll be fine.
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