Again not a movie (does anyone really care?), but this one is here's a pretty unabashed size matters bit from Private Practice:
Penis Size References In Movies
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This Means War (2012)
FDR (Chris Pine) and Tuck (Tom Hardy), CIA agents and best friends, are listening in on a conversation between a woman FDR recently dated and her friend:
Lauren: FDR has these tiny, like, girl hands. Like, little T-Rex hands.
[Tuck laughs]
Trish: That means he's got a Mike and Ike for a penis.
[Tuck laughs out loud]
FDR: (to Tuck) You know that's not true. You've seen it. You've seen it in Bangladesh, you know that's not true.
Outrageous Fortune (1987)
Sandy (Bette Midler) and Lauren (Shelly Long) are at the morgue to identify a body that is believed to be the man that both of them have been dating. Most of the body is burned, but there is one part they can tell clearly isn't Michael and try and convince the police there's been a mistake:
Sandy: Michael was not a guy that other guys would have made fun of in a locker room.
Lauren: That can't possibly be Michael in the morgue. [cop looks at them skeptically]
Sandy: (to Lauren) I don't think this guy gets what we're talkin' about. (to the Cop, extends her pinky finger) Does the phrase, "needle dick, the bug fucker," mean anything to you?
[the girls are thrown out of the police station]
FDR (Chris Pine) and Tuck (Tom Hardy), CIA agents and best friends, are listening in on a conversation between a woman FDR recently dated and her friend:
Lauren: FDR has these tiny, like, girl hands. Like, little T-Rex hands.
[Tuck laughs]
Trish: That means he's got a Mike and Ike for a penis.
[Tuck laughs out loud]
FDR: (to Tuck) You know that's not true. You've seen it. You've seen it in Bangladesh, you know that's not true.
Outrageous Fortune (1987)
Sandy (Bette Midler) and Lauren (Shelly Long) are at the morgue to identify a body that is believed to be the man that both of them have been dating. Most of the body is burned, but there is one part they can tell clearly isn't Michael and try and convince the police there's been a mistake:
Sandy: Michael was not a guy that other guys would have made fun of in a locker room.
Lauren: That can't possibly be Michael in the morgue. [cop looks at them skeptically]
Sandy: (to Lauren) I don't think this guy gets what we're talkin' about. (to the Cop, extends her pinky finger) Does the phrase, "needle dick, the bug fucker," mean anything to you?
[the girls are thrown out of the police station]
I just realized I wrote American Pie instead of American Beauty earlier in the thread.
But speaking of American Pie, in the first one, the Finch(?) character at one point instructs one of the other guys to just affirm any rumour about him or something like that. There are three girls in the background looking over, whispering etc. When Finch leaves, one them, after being pressured by the other girls, comes over and asks the other guy if he's seen Finch in the locker room, and if it's true that he's "equipped". He remembers his instructions and says "yeah, he's huge", and then she immediately asks if Finch has a date to the prom. When she goes back to her friends, you can briefly see that she's holding her hands apart and they look pretty happy about it.
But speaking of American Pie, in the first one, the Finch(?) character at one point instructs one of the other guys to just affirm any rumour about him or something like that. There are three girls in the background looking over, whispering etc. When Finch leaves, one them, after being pressured by the other girls, comes over and asks the other guy if he's seen Finch in the locker room, and if it's true that he's "equipped". He remembers his instructions and says "yeah, he's huge", and then she immediately asks if Finch has a date to the prom. When she goes back to her friends, you can briefly see that she's holding her hands apart and they look pretty happy about it.
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An all-around hilarious and great movie anyways, but here's a clip that fits this thread perfectly....
(The Sweetest Thing, with Christina Applegate and Cameron Diaz)
(The Sweetest Thing, with Christina Applegate and Cameron Diaz)
Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon & Sarah Jessica Parker on Sex in the City, Season 3, Episode 13
Watch Sex and the City Season 3 Episode 13: Escape from New York Online Free Putlocker | Putlocker - Watch Movies Online Free
"Sex and the City" Escape from New York (TV Episode 2000) - IMDb
Miranda: to me the mark of a fine penis is "width"
Samantha: couldn't agree more
Carrie: are you saying garth has the perfect girth .
Samantha: exactly
Rachel McAdams on True Detective!
YouTube0gGNCyNXCtw
"i just like really big dicks. and its not just about length. everyone thinks its about that. but its also.... girth. I really wanna have trouble handcuffing the thing" (she wants one so thick and fat that a regular handcuff would have trouble closing around it ... so something as thick or thicker than a wrist.)"
more Kim Cattrall from SITC
Watch Sex and the City Season 3 Episode 13: Escape from New York Online Free Putlocker | Putlocker - Watch Movies Online Free
"Sex and the City" Escape from New York (TV Episode 2000) - IMDb
Miranda: to me the mark of a fine penis is "width"
Samantha: couldn't agree more
Carrie: are you saying garth has the perfect girth .
Samantha: exactly
Rachel McAdams on True Detective!
"i just like really big dicks. and its not just about length. everyone thinks its about that. but its also.... girth. I really wanna have trouble handcuffing the thing" (she wants one so thick and fat that a regular handcuff would have trouble closing around it ... so something as thick or thicker than a wrist.)"
more Kim Cattrall from SITC
funny show but there is a lot of size talk in the early parts of the first season and then there's this hot scene
A couple minor(?) ones that came to me:
Very early in The Man in the Iron Mask (17th century times with Leo di Caprio), Gerard Depardieu has three prostitutes (or maybe just "loose women") with him, but the more pious Jeremy Irons is busy praying. Depardieu tells the women something like "Too bad, you would have loved it; he's hung like a horse/donkey." And then one of them says "So are you."
In Studio 54 there's a group of friends sitting at a diner, and one of the women grabs a ketchup bottle and says something like "I swear, it was this big!" Salma Hayek is in the scene, but she's not the one saying it, IIRC. Then I believe one of the guys claim "Size doesn't matter" and they joke about wether he heard that from his mom or his dad.
Very early in The Man in the Iron Mask (17th century times with Leo di Caprio), Gerard Depardieu has three prostitutes (or maybe just "loose women") with him, but the more pious Jeremy Irons is busy praying. Depardieu tells the women something like "Too bad, you would have loved it; he's hung like a horse/donkey." And then one of them says "So are you."
In Studio 54 there's a group of friends sitting at a diner, and one of the women grabs a ketchup bottle and says something like "I swear, it was this big!" Salma Hayek is in the scene, but she's not the one saying it, IIRC. Then I believe one of the guys claim "Size doesn't matter" and they joke about wether he heard that from his mom or his dad.
An obvious source of size references was/is the HBO show Hung (three seasons), where a Detroit teacher (Thomas Jane) turns to prostitution mostly based on the fact that he's.. hung. The show has quite a few references obviously, but it's not brought up all the time, in every episode I think, it's mostly there just as "background fact". Of the hotter "size moments" I can remember, there's a sexy former student of his (Kaitlin Doubleday) that let's out an excited "I knew it!" once she gets her hands down his pants in a car (season 3). There's also his milfy, married, latina neighbour (Alanna Ubach, she's supposed to be Middle Eastern/Israeli on the show, I think) that catches him coming out of the shower. She goes "That is one beautiful penis.. Who knew you were hiding that next door?", and they end up fucking. (Season 1)
a random little video short i found on youtube
another one, this was done by a comedy group about john hamm from mad men
Also, I'm wondering if this rings a bell for anyone. I remember half watching a British sitcom episode on tv (the kind with no laugh track, I'm pretty sure). I think it mostly took place in an office environment. In the episode where guy had a naked portrait of himself painted, and he had a big, fat flaccid in it that garnered some attention around the office, I think. (Or maybe he just liked to show it off.) I'm positive it was from the 2000's, but I have no idea about what the show was called.
Mongo, that was from Green Wing, when Sue White painted the intern Martin Dear for a nude art class. He was this terrible bumbling fool, but he had a massive cock. His half-brother saw the painting and got jealous. Sue was thoroughly impressed.
Mongo
Mongo
From what I remember it was only a one time gag, the scene can be watched here: newepisodes.me: Watch Green Wing online (S2E4)
Around 33:30
Around 33:30
kalilover
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I understood him to be implying that Reese was small he says "I've seen LITTTLE to indicate that you are a fit guardian for Sarah Conner" and Jai Courtney sort of shrugs his head in that sort of "Really?! Dick jokes from a robot" kind of face lol. But here's a link to the clip cause I'm such a nice guy.
Terminator Genisys.avi (7.56MB) - SendSpace.com
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I very quickly skimmed through my collection and found these references
The Overnight 2015 – Various references to one guy being big, and one guy being small.
Sex Nature Women Food 2012 – The guy refers to himself as having a “tiny little flaccid penis”
Republic of Doyle S03E02 – The guy tries to defend himself by saying its “colder in here than it looks”
Vice Academy Part 2 1990 (Know its Scott Layne but not 100 percent on movie title) – Girl rips guys towel off in the locker room in front of the other guys and her and her girlfriend start laughing at him commenting “Big nightstick?! More like a cocktail weenie!”
Bending all the Rules 2002 – Don’t remember exact quote but at least one reference is made to the non-Bradley Cooper guy being very large.
The Duff 2015 – Girl barges into the boys locker room and comments to one guy that “it looks like a penis, only smaller”…..isn’t that the exact same comment made in the homoerotic movie The Covenant?
El Barco – This foreign series makes a few references to the religious kid being rather large.
The Boondock Saints 1999 – In a deleted scene the boys ask their mother which one came out first during birth she states “the one with the biggest cock” and as the boys are naked at the moment the Norman Reedus character looks down between them and gets a big goofy grin, but the other defends himself by claiming he “had ice on his”.
Friends and Lovers 1999 - One of the guys pulls his towel off to show a large one, and several comments are made by both guys and girls.
Paper Towns 2015 – A girl takes revenge on a guy (I think by snatching his clothes or something, haven’t watched it) and her and her guy friend snap a picture of him running around and she says something like “It’s like Rhode Island, it may have an illustrious history but it sure isn’t big”
Heart of America 2002 – A group of guys are bullying (or inducting, again haven’t actually watched it) another group and want to see if they have “balls” so they depants them and all break out laughing stating “you’re obviously not showers”
I am soldier 2014 – A guy gets stripped in front of a woman who laughs and states “I was right you’re no man….I’ve seen mushrooms with more shaft than that”
Pretty Ugly People 2008 – Jack Noseworthy’s character is shyly hiding himself before skinny dipping trying to fluff himself up when his friend pull his hands away and states “he’s just a baby”.
Bad Education (show) – Throughout the course of the show several references are made to Jack Whitehall’s character being rather large, the slutty girl refers to him as a “tripod”.
DisOrientation (2012) – A guy is standing on podium welcoming new college students when another guy pulls down his shorts and results in the crowd laughing while the bully comments “behold where the male penis SHOULD be”
The Inbetweeners Movie 2011 – A kid pulls down a guy’s swimsuit by the pool and yells out “So little, so little!”
Newcastle 2008 – After swimming in the ocean one guy accuses another of having gotten a boner, to prove him wrong he whips down his trucks and states “It’s just big…..but you wouldn’t know anything about that would you?”
Nowhere to Run 1993 – The young kids catch Jean-Claude Van Damme bathing in a creek and the daughter later tells her mother over dinner that he had a “big penis” to which her mother corrects her that it’s an average penis (having caught him in the shower).
Sirens (show, don’t know which exact episode) – The guys (and later gals) catch a guy naked in his house and make frequent references to his large member “he’s covering it with both hands, and I can still see it”.
4.3.2.1. 2010 – A girl takes revenge on a guy that tricked her into sex, and later took pictures of her, buy tying him and his friend up and pulling down his pants and snapping pictures of him, commenting “oh, is that all you’ve got….no wonder it was over so quickly”
The Sopranos – (not sure which episode) - Michael Imperioli is forced to strip in front of rival mobsters who one of which comments “I guess you could call that a dick”
The ones in bold are ones that actually show frontal along with a reference, of course The Overnight are both prosthetic.
The Overnight 2015 – Various references to one guy being big, and one guy being small.
Sex Nature Women Food 2012 – The guy refers to himself as having a “tiny little flaccid penis”
Republic of Doyle S03E02 – The guy tries to defend himself by saying its “colder in here than it looks”
Vice Academy Part 2 1990 (Know its Scott Layne but not 100 percent on movie title) – Girl rips guys towel off in the locker room in front of the other guys and her and her girlfriend start laughing at him commenting “Big nightstick?! More like a cocktail weenie!”
Bending all the Rules 2002 – Don’t remember exact quote but at least one reference is made to the non-Bradley Cooper guy being very large.
The Duff 2015 – Girl barges into the boys locker room and comments to one guy that “it looks like a penis, only smaller”…..isn’t that the exact same comment made in the homoerotic movie The Covenant?
El Barco – This foreign series makes a few references to the religious kid being rather large.
The Boondock Saints 1999 – In a deleted scene the boys ask their mother which one came out first during birth she states “the one with the biggest cock” and as the boys are naked at the moment the Norman Reedus character looks down between them and gets a big goofy grin, but the other defends himself by claiming he “had ice on his”.
Friends and Lovers 1999 - One of the guys pulls his towel off to show a large one, and several comments are made by both guys and girls.
Paper Towns 2015 – A girl takes revenge on a guy (I think by snatching his clothes or something, haven’t watched it) and her and her guy friend snap a picture of him running around and she says something like “It’s like Rhode Island, it may have an illustrious history but it sure isn’t big”
Heart of America 2002 – A group of guys are bullying (or inducting, again haven’t actually watched it) another group and want to see if they have “balls” so they depants them and all break out laughing stating “you’re obviously not showers”
I am soldier 2014 – A guy gets stripped in front of a woman who laughs and states “I was right you’re no man….I’ve seen mushrooms with more shaft than that”
Pretty Ugly People 2008 – Jack Noseworthy’s character is shyly hiding himself before skinny dipping trying to fluff himself up when his friend pull his hands away and states “he’s just a baby”.
Bad Education (show) – Throughout the course of the show several references are made to Jack Whitehall’s character being rather large, the slutty girl refers to him as a “tripod”.
DisOrientation (2012) – A guy is standing on podium welcoming new college students when another guy pulls down his shorts and results in the crowd laughing while the bully comments “behold where the male penis SHOULD be”
The Inbetweeners Movie 2011 – A kid pulls down a guy’s swimsuit by the pool and yells out “So little, so little!”
Newcastle 2008 – After swimming in the ocean one guy accuses another of having gotten a boner, to prove him wrong he whips down his trucks and states “It’s just big…..but you wouldn’t know anything about that would you?”
Nowhere to Run 1993 – The young kids catch Jean-Claude Van Damme bathing in a creek and the daughter later tells her mother over dinner that he had a “big penis” to which her mother corrects her that it’s an average penis (having caught him in the shower).
Sirens (show, don’t know which exact episode) – The guys (and later gals) catch a guy naked in his house and make frequent references to his large member “he’s covering it with both hands, and I can still see it”.
4.3.2.1. 2010 – A girl takes revenge on a guy that tricked her into sex, and later took pictures of her, buy tying him and his friend up and pulling down his pants and snapping pictures of him, commenting “oh, is that all you’ve got….no wonder it was over so quickly”
The Sopranos – (not sure which episode) - Michael Imperioli is forced to strip in front of rival mobsters who one of which comments “I guess you could call that a dick”
The ones in bold are ones that actually show frontal along with a reference, of course The Overnight are both prosthetic.
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