People always ask me, "Thicknmoan, why does my penis smell?" After spitting milk out of my nose (i don't drink milk), I give one or all of the following answers: 1. You let your cock go unwashed for several hours while it is caked in cum, precum, someone's juices, lube, or condom slime. 2. Your are uncut and do not spend precious time cleaning under your hood as if it were a royal member needing a ritual cleaning everyday. 3. You are uncut and do not shake off ALL the urine drips after urination. I recommend using tissue to soak it up. Milk your penis to get every last drop out. Yes, you might have to start using stalls instead of urinals when urinating. Get use to it. 4. You don't believe in soap and water. 5. You do not have access to soap and water within a sufficient amount of time. 6. You are a disgusting pig by choice. 7. Your underwear or clothing is not washed enough or lately thus the stench spreads to your penis. 8. You have no class by birth. 9. You are cut but think hygiene is sooooo 2004. 10. You have gone Gangrene for some reason (RUN TO DOCTOR NOW) 11. You are still wearing a condom aren't you? (From last Tuesday? LIKE WTF?!" 12. Your hands smell. Transference of stench. 13. Your bottom slave smells. Transference of stench. 14. Your oral lover has bad breath. 15. You are a self-sucker with bad breath. 16. It is hotter than hell outside and your crotch is one seething cesspool of body sweat swamp gases. (sometimes a fetish item too). There, that about does it. Did I miss one?