Penis tax?

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by Pecker, Mar 11, 2004.

  1. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    If the government were to decide that a man is to be taxed according to the length of his erect penis, would you cheat and pay too little tax?

    Or too much?
     
  2. B_RoysToy

    B_RoysToy New Member

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    i think before a penis tax could be successful, the government would have to measure each adult male, Pecker. And when this comes to pass, I think the man with the biggest schlong should be named the head honcho. :D
     
  3. Imported

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    ORCABOMBER: You do realise, this is sexual discrimination! :D
     
  4. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    I don't know, Peck, with these idiots at the IRS, it'd probably be another case of taxation without representation! :D ;D
     
  5. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    But the audits would be stimulating!
     
  6. Imported

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    over13inches: If you got involved in a very unlucky accident and lost it, would you get a tax rebate ??? ;D
     
  7. B_RoysToy

    B_RoysToy New Member

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    [quote author=ORCABOMBER link=board=meetgreet;num=1079062956;start=0#2 date=03/12/04 at 00:32:07]You do realise, this is sexual discrimination!  :D[/quote]
    How politically incorrect! Nothing ventured, nothing gained! I can venture to be an odd ball and have fun being discriminatory. :D

    Luke
     
  8. Imported

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    headbang8: [quote author=Pecker link=board=meetgreet;num=1079062956;start=0#0 date=03/11/04 at 19:33:36]If the government were to decide that a man is to be taxed according to the length of his erect penis, would you cheat and pay too little tax? Or too much? [/quote]
    As with money, so with the penis.

    • Enter it on your balance sheet as somthing else. You can get away with a third leg tax free.
    • File a joint return (When you get married, your wife owns your dick anyway. Why not use it to your advantage?)
    • Start hustling, so your dick becomes a business expense
    • Deduct dick maintenance every time you masturbate
    • Claim a concessional rate when it goes limp
    • Depreciate your dick ("Honest, Mr. Taxman. It ain't worth that much. Haven't you heard that size doesn't matter?")
    • Become a dick-exile in an offshore dick-haven. (anyone know of a good dick-haven, BTW?)
    • And if all else fails, do what every good tax-avoider does. Hide your assets. (preferably iside somebody attractive!)
     
  9. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Are there penalties for early withdrawals?

    What if one's penis is self employed?

    Do multiple partners count as a corporation?

    Are condoms deductable expense as work clothes?

    Is there an additional tax if you are not circumcised?
     
  10. B_RoysToy

    B_RoysToy New Member

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    You guys! All of this dick talk has gone to my crotch. Headbang8, extremely witty and shrewd, man -- makes me wanna print your post out for posterity. Whatcha trying to do, be as clever as Pecker? :D

    Luke
     
  11. Imported

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    roedhunt: Notification to all Male Taxpayers:

    It has come to our attention that the only thing the IRS has not taxed is your penis. This is because 60% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 25% it is on sick time, 10% it hard up at work and 5% it is in the hole. On top of that you have two dependents and they are both nuts. Accordingly, as of June 1st, 2004, the following changes will be added to the 2004 tax table. So please determine your size, insert the information in section 6, title 23, page 49, paragraph 2, on line 50.

    11 – 10 inches…. Luxury Tax
    9 – 8 inches…..….Proficient Tax
    7 – 6 inches.....…Standard Tax
    5 – 4 inches…..… Nuisance Tax

    Please note that anyone under 4 inches cannot request for an extension. Those 12 or over must file under Capital Gains. Thank you for your attention.


    Yours very truly,

    IM Peter Checker
     
  12. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Your penis is allowed to have two dependents.

    They must be nuts.
     
  13. B_RoysToy

    B_RoysToy New Member

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    The size of these nuts must have some bearing on the penis tax. A reasonable size could be allowed, but when they are obviously large enough to do work for more than one penis, a charge must be levied. The IRA must determine the size at which the nuts cease being standard equipment and become luxury items. ::)
     
  14. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    And don't forget, all donations to charities are tax deductable! ;D ;)

    Also, don't keep those two nuts waiting too long, they may become teste!
     
  15. B_RoysToy

    B_RoysToy New Member

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    [quote author=MASSIVEPKGOFCHUCK link=board=meetgreet;num=1079062956;start=0#13 date=03/15/04 at 19:23:23]And don't forget, all donations to charities are tax deductable! ;D ;) Also, don't keep those two nuts waiting too long, they may become teste![/quote]
    . . . and no one wants testee testicles (I know, a noun can't modify a noun, but who cares about grammar where his nuts are concerned?) ???
     
  16. Imported

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    Doubtless_Mouse: If they do begin to tax penises, I don't think I want any Tax cuts or Tax breaks. Likewise, those under 4 inches could use the 1040 short form, but those over 12 inches would have to use the long form. Lastly, this tax will more than likely be a retroactive tax so if you don't file for previous years, you will audited.
     
  17. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    I'm afraid this idea sucks, after all.

    All the guys would have an exemption: they would claim to always be in the hole. ;D
     
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